James' Ramblings

Ah, I got more ramen from my Mom. Good thing because I was running low. I was just watching the video of Good Charlotte's "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous". I was closely listening to the lyrics more than watching the video and what they is probably true to some extent. The rich snobs of this world have probably gotten to the point where they wouldn't be able to stand the lifestyles of even a modest living family/lifestyle. Everything probably is handed to them in a bowl and stuff. How pointless their lives must be. I will admit to some degree that they must have gotten there with SOME kind of effort, whether that be practicing to act or learning to play instruments, sing, or just to act like a dumbass on TV. I'm sure there's a reason why everyone can't be like them. They must have some skill for this "talent". But then there are those who become rich and famous through their family, born into a wealthy society, etc. These people I hate. And then I begin to think of the lowest classes of this country. There are people who really live badly. Even I feel ashamed at myself about how I live compared to this folk. I am not rich or anything, but I don't consider myself poor...though sometimes I do and sometimes I really am. I try not to act like it. Even when I have money and I KNOW that spending it is no big deal, I hesitate inside about spending it. Peer pressure plays a big role. I always think how well off I'll be, or not be, in the next 10 years...and what I'll be like presenting myself in front of the same peers that I went to high school with at the reunion...if I'm able to attend, that is. I always wanted to live in a peaceful, happy little town, maybe no more than a few thousand people when I grow up. I watched TV as people walked everywhere, the barber shop, store, sidewalk, and they would know people. I'd like it to be like that for me. That's not for a while, so I have nothing to worry about. I think right now the key is the live as much as I can while I'm in the position I am. College is pretty laid back. You go to classes less than high school, don't have to listent to your parents...well, SOME people don't, and it's a period of time where you experiment and try out new things. Trust me I did! Some things you learn NOT to do again, some things you WANT to do again, and some things you just CAN'T do again. With that said, I like the life that I've lived. I don't think I've held myself back much. Granted there are times here and there that I wish I would have done different, but heck, everyone has that, you know. I don't care. Time goes on. There's bound to be a chance like that again. And then again, what if that one chance you got was just that, one chance? Then that sucks for you. :) I just want to be able to look back at my life and say, wow, I did a lot of things in my lifetime and I loved every minute of it. That's really my goal. I don't care if I become super rich or super famous. I don't even give a damn if I get a good job or education. Some will agree with me and some will not. If I won the lottery, I wouldn't know what to do really. I tell people that I would get a car, house, and all the stuff that I've always wanted. Truth is, I probably wouldn't get a new car until I really needed it. I wouldn't get a house until I really needed. Would I quit working and going to college if I was set for life? Probably not. Doing these things is what life is. Take that away and all you do is just live and not experience anything. I read somewhere if people would rather choose to die among their friends happily at 30 or die lonely at 85...I put my money everytime that they'll choose the first choice. No one wants to be lonely. Even if I live to be 300 or 3000, I wouldn't, I would choose to die earlier with my friends. Sometimes I'm too hard on my friends, I know, especially Laura. I don't know how she handles me! I love her for it though. Well...nothing much else to say. Tonight felt good to talk about this. Life isn't always about money, though it painfully is and it controls every aspect of how we live. The thing you have to make sure is don't let money control you...or else bad things happen...and most of the trouble will stem from the IRS. :) Land of the freedom my ass.