Well, I just wanted to put this blog before I forgot. I saw Finding Neverland with Johnny Depp a few weeks ago and I want to say this was one of the best movies I have seen in a looong time. I don't recall one part of the movie where I wasn't interested or unengaged or was boring. I really liked the storyline and so forth. I'm not a fan of Kate Winslett (because of Titanic), but she was ok in her role. A+ for the movie. It didn't win a Golden Globe, but it's nominated for an academy award, so we'll see how it does in that.

Just saying a quick hello! Gonna head to bed now.

2 hours until my birthday. Time to reflect huh? 23 years old. Come to think of it, 23 is soooooo old, relatively speaking. But then again, it's pretty young. I've got a long life ahead of me, full of surprises. I just hope that my life isn't some boring little adventure. I want it to be full of excitement and stuff, ya know? I think travelling the world with Laura would be awesome. I think we're going to try to go to a bunch of places including Africa, Europe, Asia, and S.A. I guess that's pretty much all the continents, but yeah. You get the point.

I filed my taxes last night and if all goes well, I'll get roughly $1400 back. All of which is already "spent". Car insurance and credit card payments baby. I will also pay SOME of my balance for my laptop. I would like to get that out of the way. Other than that, that's a lot of money I get and so little time to see it.

It feels like a long weekend. It's only Sat. night and I feel as though it's Sunday night. Good or bad I guess depending on how you look at it. Got back into Halo again. Playing online now. It's fun. That's all for the update. Tomorrow's a time to relax!

Another edition of weird thoughts going in my head.

So sometime (today? yesterday?) Laura was telling me about how a person at her work was dancing and stuff while listening to music (at least that's how I interpreted it) and I thought to myself what...well, let me start over. I always think about what others are thinking, doing, etc...you know, how they live their lives and such. When you get down to it, everyone needs certain things to live. Everything apart from that is filler I think, to make our lives more enjoyable, etc.

Okay, that didn't make sense at all...even I don't know what I'm saying. Anyway, I just thought that man, people are basically the same at heart and they do the same things as me and everyone else, they say the same things, experiences (more or less) the same things and think the same way. I wonder if they have worries like me. I wonder if they are happy like me and so forth. I know everyone's lives are different, but they can't be all that different. College kids go to school, work, come home, and hang out. Pretty much it until you graduate and then you just take out school...that about covers it doesn't it? I guess you replace that with an optionial "take care of your family" huh?

Bottom line, I guess I want to say for the moral of this night's blog to be that friends are super important in life. It's hard to make them, but you can erase them in a second. Hold on to what you have I guess. If you think of life as a sin curve, I wonder what part of the curve I'm at right now...the bottom? Top? Middle? On my way to going up to the top? Down to the bottom? We'll see soon enough.

Mid February is when I'll know about my internships. I'm sort of nervous. What if I don't get either? I guess it's not that big of a deal since I'm not in any hurry after May...well, I'll be strapped for cash BIG TIME if I don't do something then...but yeah, I guess I should keep searching for internships. My boss has been supportive saying I'll get at least one of them. We'll see about that eh?

I'm gonna head to bed...my classes are early tomorrow...I need to stop spending money...and I need to get back into school mode. I haven't done much except take notes in class, so...but then again most are discussion classes...which I'm not good at discussions. I think I'm going to have to change a bit of my style this semester. I'm going to have to be a little more outspoken...it's going to be hard but I think it's for the better.

On another note, I've pretty much conquered Tales of Symphonia...beat most of the side quests, the ones I can do anyway. If I want to do and get everything, I'll have to start another game and I don't think that'll be good considering I've just started a semester...my last one at that. ;)

See ya.

Tomorrow is the first day of my last semester! Well, I have to go in to my advisor again and make sure that it is, but I'm pretty sure that it is. Anyway, I hope this semester is as good as last semester, both grade wise and time wise. Time wise you say? Well, last semester was probably the fastest semester that I ever had. I don't know why. Maybe it was because the classes that I took were actually interesting and I had fun. Maybe, maybe not. Anywho, just wanted to get this last bit of rambling before I head to bed.

It's always weird for the first day of school. Even when I'm this old and it's my 5th year of college! It's also weird that some of my friends are done with school, so they don't have to worry about school anymore. Just a strange feeling you know?

Well, that's all. Catch you sometime soon I'm sure. Maybe later this week to tell you how my semester will likely go. Until next time.

P.S. I wonder if there's a way or ever going to be a way to print all your blogs from the site...that would be helpful as I want to archive for myself...sometime...

Hello.

While I was making myself a "sleeping time" CD and testing it out on my old ass CD player from the mid 90s...something just hit me. Like, I can't even explain it. I guess the realization that, whoa, I'm just a tiny speck on the planet and the universe, or something to that extent. I just sat there for a minute or two thinking was purpose life brings to whomever's life you are currently talking about. And then the realization that the world does indeed go on regardless of you. Time really doesn't discriminate!

This blog is sort of a geeky one don't ya think? Anyway, I just wanted to catalog that little moment. The battle between the two internships is still going. There are two I want, well, one I REALLY want and another that is sort of a back up, which happens to be (probably) the one that I can most likely take right now. The other one is still in the interviewing process and the lady will probably notify me in mid February...not good considering that's over a month from now and I have to notify my other people about what I want to decide within a week from now, no more than a week and a half. My brother said if he learned anything it's that you shouldn't wait for things to resolve, otherwise you could end up with the worst situation, in this case, me not getting EITHER internship. Should I wait? Should I accept the one that is second choice??? I don't know what to do! I'll have to think about this while I got to sleep the next few nights I guess.

Among other news, school is starting next week. Woohoo. I've been waiting since these long breaks are just killer as they are so boring. My last semester as I've said a couple of times now. I'm actually moving on!

Well, I'll talk to you later. Laura, if you're reading this before I talk to you, which will be very unlikely, I beat Tales of Symphonia and I beat Abbyssion!!! He was hard as hell, but it was on my first try...lots of items later and Raine dead, I came out the victor!

I love you.

Howdy,

First post of 2005. Seems refreshing. So it's been over 2 years (3?!?!) since I started the blog venture. Crazy stuff.

It's 12:17am and thought I'd write a little bit. It's amazing how much you really want to write a journal, but don't want to because you don't want to have to write it in a book. My hands would get tired after writing a sentence, but thanks to the cool folks at Blogger, we can do this from a computer...quickening the writing pace by hundred-fold. Well, maybe no hundred fold, but anyway.

Good news, if you want to think of it that way. I think I'm having a phone interview on Thursday from the place that I want to internship the most. That's awesome. I'm probably going to start to get more and more nervous as the time comes, but yeah. I'm going to have to go through the potential questions in my head the night before to make sure I don't fuck it up. And then I was thinking, maybe I could try and be unique but that could end up bad too. I guess the best way is to act yourself so if they DO hire me in, I won't act all different, ya know? I didn't go to work today. I don't know why, I just didn't. I was really tired for some reason. I better start sleeping earlier when the beginning of the semester comes around since I have to wake up at 7 every morning. Yup, that's right. I HAVE to this time. M/W is work from 7 to 11:30, then class, and back to work at 1:30 or so. T/Th I have class all day. F is an exception once again. Anyway, I'm going to head to work today and see what's up.

Oh yeah, I went to my first "LAN party" last Saturday and it was fun. It was all people from my work, 6 in all including me. The games we played were fun and right now I'm addicted to HALO. Fun game. Tales of Symphonia is fun too for the Game Cube. I sort of let off on that game for right now, but I'm going to get back into it so I can get on to the second disk. Laura's been playing that game a lot lately.

Anyway, lately I haven't been me for some reason. I'm really "on the edge" or more descriptively, snappy for some reason. I hope it gets resolved soon.

Well, I'm going to head to bed with some music on. Yeah, I moved my speakers into my bedroom so I can listen to ambient noises while I sleep. It's pretty cool. I sometimes think about being/living in a fantasy world like Tales of Symphonia and HALO and places like that. Oh well. laters.

Whoa, new post already! It's because I'm bored. Sort of took the day off early today...just a couple of hours of at the office. Not work, because I really didn't do any of that. Anyway, cool stuff to tell you about. I was bored last night as always and I wanted to see if I can find my old friends online, whether that be through Google or Classmates.com or whatever. It turns out that it's pretty hard to find out that kind of stuff, but then it's the internet, there are always other ways to go about things.

I stumbled upon LocateAmerica.com and browsing around, I found all the people that I have been looking for. It's a HUGE database of virtually all the people in the United States and their name, address, and sometimes more. I decided to try it out and paid $20 for a 24-hour pass to do as many searches you want. I found quite a bit of people and although I'm not sure if the addresses that it gave me will be accurate, I'm going to try anyhow. I already wrote the letters to each of my old middle school friends. Of course they're not all different, just changed the name on most of them. Anyway, yeah, hopefully I'm going to send those out soon and see if I get any replies back. That would be cool if I did, but I have a feeling I might get ONE reply back and this entire ordeal would have been a waste of time, money, and envelopes and stamps. No matter, I looked back (well, more like thought back) at all the stuff that I did back when I was in middle school in California. Fun times.

Among other news, I have been submitting a lot of internship information and requests the last month or so. A few seem really probable, but we'll see about that. An internship that really seems fun is at Alaska, but I saw that it's not paid, which could cause problems, so I'm not submitting that yet. I'm looking into it though.

Laura is working right now. She worked from 10pm last night, and well, I guess until 10pm tonight. 24-hours! Anyway. She got Tales of Symphonia for Christmas and she's been playing that for the last couple of days. I just got into it and it's fun. Since it's sort of close to an RPG, I just spent a bit of time just fighting enemies and leveling and powering up. Ah, how RPGs work.

What else...nothing else! Um, yeah. Seriously, I sometimes even wonder if anyone reads this!

So fast forward to December 24th...Christmas Eve. Again, it's been two months since I've written on here. Oh well. To update, things have generally been the same around here. Big news, however, include Laura and TJ graduating from CSU. We went to each of their graduation ceremonies and it was good to see them walk...though I don't know if I'll walk yet. Everybody is good. Went to Laura's house in Denver to exchange a couple of gifts and such. Ohhh, that's another big thing, presents! The group gave each other our gifts early since people wouldn't be here in town for Christmas. Anyway, I got some cool shit including a RMNP pass for next year, a video camcorder and of course DVDs. Ashley got a watch, martini set, and others, Chris a game steering wheel and DVDs, TJ some house warming gifts, and Laura some decorative stuff and a Kitchen Aid stand mixer. All and all it was a fun time.

So, what now? Well, I'm going to be starting my last semester here at CSU on the 18th of January...I can't believe it's come down to this already! Back in 2000 when I started, of course I was hoping to get out in 4 years...after a year of screwing around, getting kicked out (man, that sounds bad!), going to Front Range, getting my act together, and finally coming back here, I've realized that I've gone through quite a bit during my college years. Most good, some bad. Now it's coming down to the final chapter of this part of life huh? I'm currently trying to find an internship lined up for the upcoming summer since it's sort of required to get my degree, but I'm not in a hurry. I don't think I'll be "using" that degree soon anyway.

Yesterday I sent out an e-mail to a bunch of people saying happy holidays. I got one back from a friend from middle school whom I keep in touch with on an infrequent basis...like once or twice a year. I asked if she wanted to meet up the next time I went to California (which could be a long time!) but yeah, it brought up memories. Really, I remember back in those days when we'd do nothing and get by. We would play games outside, camp in the back yard, "stay over" at each others' houses (and the funny and nostalgic part of that was the whole process of asking our parents if it was ok, lol) and stuff like that. I remember biking around our little town plaza and buying ice cream in the summer time and so forth. I really miss those days. If I had a wish, I would probably ask to be back in that time period again. Well, maybe money if it were really to happen, but second would be to go back in time, as many times as we could, as secretly as we wanted. That would be cool. Anyway, that was my flash back for this blog.

And then, I just realized that this blog has been in existence since 2002...that's crazy. I have gone back and read some of the earlier ones but that brings back memories too. I wonder what everyone I've mentioned has been doing, like Ben, Derek, Rod, etc. Sometimes I think maybe I should have kept in touch with them or something. Oh well.

So anyway, one more semester, and then an internship and who knows what will happen. In April, we'll find out where Laura was accepted for graduate school and that'll partly determine what will be happening. That's in 4 months. So I guess in those 4 months, the best thing will be for me to keep looking for an internship and hopefully securing one, doing good in school and taking some time to reflect back on what I've done so far and not to take things for granted. Wait, was that just like a set of resolutions for 2005? Maybe.

I'm out for this session, but I will be back as long as blogger.com stays in business!

Laters.

Wow...almost 2 months!

Lots to update I guess.

First off, my website, www.csuforums.com has been a real success in my eyes. Yeah, there isn't as many members as the # of students at CSU but hey, it's getting there and it's only been 2 months. Anywho, I've met some awesome people throught these forums and I'm hoping that I can keep the momentum behind it and try to get a lot more people through the months to come.

Second, my car is doing good. Just today actually, I painted my FMIC black, so it looks more "stock" than before. I think I lost a little power, but oh well. No big deal.

Third, and this is probably the biggest news, is that I'm graduating in the spring! Yes you heard right. If I can take all the classes I need without any hitches, all 6 classes and I should be able to because I already checked it online and I can fit all of them in. May is the expected graduation and my Mom and my brother want to come see for some reason. Whatever. I'm stoked. So, come to think of it I'm not graduating all that late. 5 years. I mean, it would have been sooner without the 1 year of dicking around...so 4 years...right on the money. But yeah, I'll be graduating with a Natural Resource Recreation and Tourism major. I want to work outside and hopefully at a resort or something but we'll see. I still need to do an internship next summer or I won't technically get a degree...like, I'll walk at the ceremony I think, but not get my degree until that fall or something.

Fourth, I got a new cell phone! Yeah, I thought I needed a new one about now, so I went ahead and bought it. Actually, my Mom and I are sharing minutes right now. She got a new phone too.

Other than that, that's the news really. Everything's been a-ok. Laura's been working a lot so I don't see her much, but we're doing good. We're coming up on 3 years soon! :) We're going to go to the sushi place we went to on our first date. Should be fun!

But anyway, I thought I'd give a little update on my so called life. Everyone else is doing good. Ashley is good and will be graduating in the spring as well, TJ and Laura will both be done in December and Ben will be done in the spring too. I talked to him a few times over the last couple of weeks. Seems like everyone is just busy, busy, busy.

I think it's Holly's b-day tomorrow and we're going to go each with them or something, but I'm out of the news on this one. I'll know tomorrow I guess.

I'll catch you laters!

Hey well it was ALMOST 2 weeks! Things have been hectic lately. I didn't realize that school was so close. 4 more days! The freshman moved in today. Saturday is me and Laura's weekend out. We're staying at a hotel, watching movies, and eating dinner. Should be really fun! Also, I began a project. A project of big proportions. www.csuforums.com. A message board for CSU students. My goal is to get the entire student body involved...hey, it probably won't happen, but it's a good goal right? Just opened a couple of days ago and it's flourishing. I hope this becomes big and the talk of the campus during the first week in school. Thanks to all that helped me and are helping me out on this project. my main website is going great as well. Anyway, I think I ate too much or something because my stomach is upset, but that's always the case. Chris went to Vegas for pretty much 2 days, since Wednesday. He's getting back tomorrow. That's all the news I have. Laters.

My god...it's almost 5 in the morning on Sunday. I haven't slept up until now. I tried to go to bed at like 11:30 or so, and even layed down in my bed, but I couldn't sleep...so I got on my laptop and voila, it's fricken 5. Unbelievable. I'm going to be tired the rest of the day...

Laura's going to be back in Denver tonight and back home tomorrow!!! Woohoo.

The amount of frustration I have right now toward money and buying things is ridiculous right now...I'll leave it at that. I'm way to pissed.

It's 2 in the damn morning and I'm laying here watching music videos. Evanescance's My Immortal music video is a great video. I watched that over and over. I never get tired of it...the fact that Amy Lee is hot might have something to do with it, lol, but it IS a good song. That's all I wanted to say I guess. Yup, gotta get to sleep. Laters.

I'm listening to "This Kiss" by Faith Hill right now for some reason. I like this song, but still. It's weird. It's raining again. Dammit! I just called my friend in California too. It's his b-day. Why is it that every time I call someone to tell them happy b-day, or even write to them, they say, "Oh!! You remembered?" Every fucking time. It's not that hard to remember one date and on that date say happy b-day...they think it's like a fucking miracle. Once they tell me, it's not like I register to my head saying "Oh, they told you their b-day, forget it." I don't know. Whatever. It was good to talk to him though. He's doing good. I asked him about his little brother and he's 18 I guess...damn! I remember when he was like 10 or 11. Time passes so quick.

But yeah, Laura will be back next Monday! That's like 5 days. And it's going to go quick because Thursday/Friday is a cake at work...ahem, if I go that is. I want a project to do but I don't know what. I'll think of a funny thing though. I think tonight I'm just going to listen to music and chill. Might get coffee or something but I need to stop spending money. I need to get my credit card down even more because I found out I have to pay a little more for tuition and the financial aid won't cover all of it...so. And I NEED to think about the Ireland trip. Dammit!!!! I need money fast. I need to think of stuff to do you know? I don't have anything to sell because, well, I sold it already. :

Well gonna go. Laters.

I just want to add that it's the little things in life that are the best memories. Yup, that's true. In the end, money, how big a house you have, what car you have, what achievements you've done and stuff like that really don't matter. Really, it's great if you have all that stuff, but what good is it if you die alone? Or die in misery, sadness, etc.? Granted being rich is good, but only on the outside and only up to the point where you pass away and that little, yet significant moment where you look back at your life and think to yourself what was my life about. Was my life meaningful. That sort of questions. These questions aren't answerable until the very end of your life and it's a good bet that you don't want to be in that situation without anything to look back on. So, just remember that little things prevail in the end, not the big things.

Call me old fashioned, but I just got the old school NES with 8 games in the mail today. It rocks. I also have Super Mario 1, 2, and 3 that I bought for Laura. All the games work fine except the first Super Mario. I've cleaned the pins with water, but no go. Later I'll try cleaning it with some cleaning solution. Hopefully that'll patch things up. Excite Bike, I gotta tell ya, is the best damn game ever. :)

*Note to Laura*
Happy early X-mas present Laura. Haha, just kidding. This was a gift to you from me for being a great gf! Hope you have fun with it...when you get back of course.

I'm going to go play a bit more now.

Well before I head to bed and get up tomorrow to go to work, yes I'm going to work, but only for a little bit and to sign my timesheet, :P, I thought I'd mention some memorial stuff. I'm sittin' here looking at my 5th grade yearbook. Holy shit that's a long time ago. 11 years ago, probably around this time, I was doing what I was doing in the yearbook. I can't believe how time flies so fast and stuff. I'm actually really glad that technology like photography captures these moments. I don't think I had a worry in my life back then. Maybe here and there and possibly family stuff, but not too much. I can CLEARLY remember the friends that I hung out with during that year, looking at my class of course. I remember playing kick ball on the fields, running around the play area, having student/teacher conferences and having classroom activities. I really believe that it was a fun time. I kid that my childhood wasn't all that great. From a, say, financial perspective, I really wasn't. But from a social perspective and stuff like that, I think I was. Family wise I wasn't so much either but I spent most of my time at my friend's house and came home, did homework if there was any, played video games with my brother until bed time and head to bed. Simple life huh? And then fast forward 11 years and here I am. Writing to this blog, on my laptop, worrying about school, work, missing someone I love and getting everyday things done. Is this how life is? You have a pretty laid back childhood, go through the "education" stage, then graduate, finding a job, then retiring? I hope every life isn't supposed to be like this. I'd like my life to have some sort of uniqueness, not in the sense that everyone's life is unique because of the different people involved, but the way I LIVE my life. I don't want a normal life. I really don't. You only have one life to live and I don't want to waste it on normality. Oh well, we'll see what happens huh?

It's raining like hell here. It's been like this most all day. I don't like the rain, but it's kind of nice listening to the water hit the ground outside and the roof as you go to sleep. I just noticed that I ONLY use the space bad with my right thumb so there's a big "bald" spot if you will on the right side of my laptop's space bar where it's worn out. I've tried using my left thumb as an alternative, but really my typing speed drastically reduces. It's weird because I really can't type well when I use my let thumb! Har, har.

I'm off to bed. See ya later. Oh yeah, it was Chris' b-day yesterday, but I think I already mentioned that two days ago. I don't remember.

Well, it's about an hour before Chris' b-day tomorrow. 22 is the age. Gettin' old. We ain't doing much though. We were going to go eat tomorrow with Ashley and others, but Chris will be with his parents to dinner, so. I don't know what's going to happen. Things have seemed to settle down in my life. A couple of more weeks to push through before Laura's back. My website's almost fully functional. It's nice to have 4GB of space as opposed to 1GB. Bigger is always better. lol.

Anyway, I was just coming in for a little bit. Heading out now. Laters.