Well not calling or e-mailing in about my day off wasn't so bad. Anyway, I'm now just shooting away the days to when Laura gets back. Actually, it's not the day she gets back that I'm waiting for, but the day I get to see her, which is Thursday. Another week. She's back on Sunday. That's in like, well shit, a few days. How fun is that huh? I was just thinking (like, JUST now), music is a powerful tool. It makes you wonder, think, daydream, pass time away, and thousands of other things more. It makes you happy, sad, excited, anxious, scared...you name it. I'm sure there's a song out there that'll convey a feeling. I always feel happy and secure when I listen to the music I like. I got to hand it to the artists who make great songs. Something I can't do, that's for sure. Chris called me yesterday. He was getting ready to go to Pearl Harbor then to Maui or something. Oh well. I'm really considering going working abroad next Summer. Ireland would be my first choice, but anywhere out of the U.S. would be cool. Council Exchanges is the service provider that I'm probably going to use. For $350 and $40 a month, you can work up to 4 months in places like Australia, France, Ireland, etc. I have to do the job finding, shelter finding, and stuff like that. It sounds great as it literally puts you in the middle of a city and you have to try and live. That's a little less than a year away, but something for me to ponder this long. It'd be a great experience wouldn't it? Laura wants to study abroad too, so we may try and coordinate our dates and travel, but I don't know how much we can coordinate it. Hey, well, I gotta run for now. Later.

It's Monday. What a weekend. I must say that was a weekend not to be forgotten. Right now you probably don't know whether or not it was a good one or a bad one. Let me just recap from the start. Saturday morning I wrote a blog right before I left, if I remember correctly. Well, I left, stopped by CSU, turned in my timesheet and left for camp. It took about 2 1/2 hours or so to get there. First I stopped by KFC to eat something, but I fucking hated it. I got to camp and I was greeted by Laura. That was good. Then she asks me to take to her this shirt place to place orders for camp shirts in Winter Park....I fucking just came from there...anyhoot. I take her there and back to camp. No one knows what the fuck is going on because apparently John in the "man in charge". I started to get irritated so I go outside until something happens. Derek asks me to go to his cabin to pick something up so I take the offer, since I'm doing nothing else. Right as we left the main building, everyone is magically ready to go. Fucking tough shit for them. So we leave camp around 2:45 or so for the camp site...oh wait, it's not just any campsite. It's a campsite that no one knows where the fuck it is. So we drive probably 40 minutes total until we backtrack 75% of our first route to find the campsite. Way to go John, way to go. I'm pretty much out of gas (since I didn't know we were going cross country) and we get there around 4 I guess. We stop by a campsite and get everything out...it's not good enough. "Let's go to the other campsite down there". We pack up and drive down 100 feet to the lower campsite. We set up camp there. By then I'm not in a good mood. I ask Laura to go on a walk with me. We went like, through the woods and sat down on a log and talked for a bit. That made me in a much better mood. We were in an area that resembled the likes of fantasy scenery. Anyway, we went back to the campsite and this ranger type fat ass comes up in a car and starts complaining about shit. About how only 5 people per campsite and shit. We had to pay an extraa $11. No one has money or whoever did couldn't act any sooner so I end up provided the needed $8 that we were short of. He then went on to complain about my car being parked in front of the LOCKED gate saying he might have to go to the pump house tonight or something. He never came that night for your information. I move my car. I keep on eating my lunchable. Soon it's about 6-7 and we gather around to talk and chill. I had fun there. Really. I was cuddling with Laura, but all I heard (well 90% anyway) was camp shit. They go camping to get away from the camp atmosphere and all they can talk about is camp. By now, I'm zoning off in my own imagination and looking up at the sky to see the meteor shower and stuff. I never saw any. I might go look tonight to see if I can see any. Well, around 10 or so, Laura and I go in the tent. We're tired and it was getting cold. The others trickle into their tent around 10:30, I guess. I'm like, finally, I can sleep. Oh no. John, the fucking idiot who can't keep his mouth shut, talks for the the good part of 2-3 hours. I can't sleep while he's laughing his ass away as loud as he can. A couple times the other campers told him to shut up. Apparently he's deaf and dumb. After a bit, one of the campers comes out of his tent, opens Johns tent and chews him out hardcore to shut him up. I was relieved about that, though yet somehow, John must be missing a few chromosomes or genes or something, because he just keeps talking. After he's done, I'm ready to sleep...then TJ and Ashley start talking. What the fuck is this. No one sleeps. I am laying there thinking, I should fucking go home now. That ends at about 4, at which time it's fucking cold. I give all the blankets to Laura because she was cold. I didn't want her to be cold. I was sufficed with the sleeping bag until about 5, when I got pretty cold and I couldn't sleep until the morning came. We all packed up and Laura and I left before anyone, because I needed gas and shit. Aside from seeing Laura, I would have rather taken a 2 day-long shit than go camping with some idiots. After I leave camp, as I had a 1pm appointment with Chris at Starbucks, I realized that I left too late. I was late 30 minutes after hitting traffic and missing some exits that I should have taken. We saw Jeff later on that day. Once we came back, we went to Starbucks again and ran into Ben and Emily. Ben and I caught up for the Summer and decided to play golf with coach probably sometime this week. I have an ortho appointment tomorrow. I'm just glad that this is the last week of camp. I will get to see Laura for good in one week. I can't wait for the B&B. This is Summer went by pretty quick and I can probably say it was one of my worst Summers. No one's fault, but it just sucked. I managed to save no money because of rent, bills, etc. I don't know. I just can't wait for the Fall to start and my classes to start. in two weeks, that'll happen. Before that, though, I just want to spent some good "alone" time with Laura. Well, that was a good blog I guess. :) When we were with Jeff, they talked so much about school, our old high school friends and what they might be doing now and stuff. I didn't talk for much of the dinner because frankly I gave no shit about that. Everyone's different and I am certainly the different one in the group. Then I got to thinking...I need to get the fuck out of this place. I might go work abroad all next Summer. Wouldn't that be so awesome. Laura wants to go study abroad too. If we can somehow coordinate this, it might be a great time. Ireland or England would be the destination. That would be such a great experience. That's next Summer, so who knows what will happen in a year. Well, I'm gonna try and find something to do. I skipped work today. Didn't call or e-mail this time. I just wanted another day of weekend. I'll see ya later!

Well it seems as though the earlier posts are back to normal. I'll read though probably at the end of the Summer to recap a somewhat boring and stupid Summer. I did a lot of thinking last night (sorta, I kinda fell asleep). I'm a decent person, I came to conclusion. I help out when I can and I say things that I mean. Sometimes that may not be the way to go, but hey, at least I ain't lyin'. Anyway, it's 8am now. I'm going to be leaving Ft. Collins in just about an hour. I think I'm going to go have myself a good weekend. Later!

Welcome back to another edition of my ramblings. By now you've probably understood me as a person who can change minds pretty quickly. Well, yeah, I just wanted to state that. I have been listening to two songs over and over the last week. "Everytime you need me" by Fragma and "Heaven" by DJ Sammy...damn...these two pieces are probably the best trance songs that I have heard so far. The two women singing in each song is just amazing, voice and appearance. :) But, today was Friday, which means that I got paid. This is, I believe, the first paycheck where I don't have to pay for anything. Bills aren't here yet and probably won't until my next paycheck. I think I may just save this wad of cash for the down payment for the car. Did I just say save? The cell phone bill is coming, and I decided that I'm going to check it on Monday, after my weekend, to, well, make the weekend a good one. I had my presentation for the web design workshop and it went well. I was pretty nervous, but it went well. Chris I guess has a date with the girl he has been talking about at work tonight. Right about now, he should be with her. I am curious as to how it goes, but that is going to have to wait until Sunday. This weekend is surprisingly busy considering it's mine. Maybe the most eventful weekend. August 12th is the peak for the Pleseids meteor shower that can be seen if you look, I think West? Well, if you know where Casseopeai is, look there. I know I fucked up that spelling, but sorry. I am planning to look for it tomorrow night/Sunday morning with Laura. It is the perfect time, and since the campsite is most likely going to be away from the city, it should be a great view. Isn't it romantic? The two of us under the stars? :) If only there was one more thing we could add to that. lol. Time is going slow and fast all at the same time. I'll explain another time. I have decided to make something for Laura for her B&B extravaganza on the 22nd. I should be able to put it together by that time if I can find the right components of what I'm trying to make. Aside from everything that I'm talking about, I watched XXX earlier today. I have to say, after all the alleged hype, it sucked. I never wanted to see it, but after being dragged by Rod, I caved in and said to myself it couldn't possibly worse than sitting in front of my computer at 4pm in the afternoon in the heat of my room. Well, it did beat it. The only part of the movie I liked about it is the "coolness" factor of the characters and the quite hot Asia Argento...I think that's her name. Look her up when you get the chance. I will definitely recommend it to people to NOT see it. Go see Signs instead. Much better plot, acting, and more realistic. I'll be leaving my house around 9am tomorrow, stopping by to drop off my timesheet at CSU and continuing on to drive to camp. I'm going to try and go slooooooooooow tomorrow. Slow as in the speed limit. I haven't had a time where I "relaxingly" drove my car in a while. When I lived in Niwot, I liked driving back home from Ben's house at around 1 or 2 in the morning with my windows down and going slow enough (about 10 or 15 mpg) to be able to hear the trees whistling in the wind. I am in such a better mood than I was in earlier. Maybe it's the trance. It's hard not to get into a better mood listening to it. I think I kinda made Laura mad earlier today when I talked to her. She was already having a bad day and I didn't help much. This was the second time that she happened to call when Rod was around...it is probably the most annoying thing in the world, I must say. He keeps talking and talking to me even though he knows I'm on the phone with her. It's like, shut the fuck up for just a minute. When this happens, I can't center my attention on Laura, while she keeps talking, and I'm here trying to listen to both of them and when I say "what" to Rod, Laura says "what" since she doesn't know what's going on and sooner or later Laura starts getting mad since she think I'm not paying attention to her, which is true for the most part while I try to give off the idea that I don't want to be around Rod right now. And it's hard to do all this when he tells me to fucking go with him to get food when I just want to sit and talk to Laura. He insisted on me going "just to go along". Fucking the only thing that was accomplished was pissing the major fuck out of me. Well, with that said, I'm about to crash for the night so tomorrow comes a little quicker. I'll write again possibly on Sunday night. Have a good one.

Tomorrow is the dreaded presentation that I have to give. I am not ready to give it at all. I have to practice tonight to make sure I don't fuck up. The good news is that there won't be many people there...hardly any, actually. Maybe 4? I don't know. I'll know tomorrow. I have been trying to fix this blog thing and trying to republish all my previous posts, but it ain't working. Hopefully it's something technical in the blogger system. I want to read my old blogs. Anyway. I tried to check my cell phone bill today and it's in the final stages of processing, so I'll know about tomorrow I guess. It's going to be...horrible to say the least.Over $100 for sure. I don't even want to see it. Anyway, this weekend is going to be either really fun or absolutely crappy. Going camping with camp people at camp isn't exactly my way to celebrate doing my presentation, but I get to see Laura and I guess Derek is excited to hang out with me, so. I'll give it a go. Then on Sunday, Chris and I are going to meet up with a couple good friends from H.S. to hang out and have dinner. That should be fun. Then Chris is leaving on Monday for Hawaii for a couple weeks. I am pretty much going to be by myself for about 1 1/2 weeks. Then on the 22nd, Laura and I will hang out ALONE for the first time in god knows when at the B&B. I can't wait for that. Well, I just gave you my itinerary for the new few weeks. School is about to start and I can't wait for that either though I don't want to take speech. I am really considering dropping it. Ah....the suckiness of life sometimes. Well, I'm going to try one more time to publish all my other blogs. See ya.

Hey all. It's been a boring yet busy weekend and the time I was not writing. I decided to give Laura an out of the blue gift. A bed and breakfast. Actually it's a two for one kinda thing, as I haven't gone to one myself, but she has. Anyway, I found a nice little place about 2 hours from here. I would have found something closer, but I only searched the places with websites. This place seems great and the service I have gotten so far has been great too. I'll report back on how that went when we get back. It's reserved for the 22nd, so it's still a ways away. Among other news, I saw Austin Powers and Signs this past weekend. They are both great movies, though Signs takes my vote, since I'm a alien freak. I rearranged my room, livened it up a bit and put up posters. Looks more cozy and clean than before. I am fucking nervous for this presentation that I have to do for work. It's on Friday. This weekend I told (well, not yet, the message hasn't gotten to her yet) her that I will go up to camp one last time, since it's near the end anyway, to hike with her and her friends. I'm only doing it to see her. I don't like camp or camp people at all. I am glad that camp's over, but at the same time I know I'm going to be annoyed by all the new camps stories that are going to be talked to each other about REGARDLESS of the fact that I don't give a damn and both parties were AT CAMP, so each person knows everything about it already. Anyway, I've already put aside the money for the bed and breakfast. It was quite a dent in my wallet, but hey, it's worth it. I can't wait for Laura to be back. I think this Fall is going to be just fine despite what everyone thinks about me living with my girlfriend "already". I don't care what they say. Just because they say it's not good or wasn't good for them doesn't mean you have to make me worry. Anyway, Chris and I worked on his car today. We put some tint and some decals. Looks much better, but he still has a ways to go. I am currently looking for something to sell in my arsenal of collections, but to no avail, looks like I might have actually sold everything that I can sell. I have nothing left but this old computer, car stereo stuff, my car, and Laura. :) I bet I can get a lot of money for her...hehe, but yeah, it's not for sale. I don't want to take speech class this Fall either. I know I should get it over with, but I don't like talking in front of huge amounts of people. Yes, a classroom is "huge amounts of people". I don't know what I'm doing tonight. It's so boring. Everynight I do the same thing. Forget to eat. Drink lots of water. Surf. Surf...oh wait, surf again, and then put on a trance song and go to sleep. Go to work in the morning...repeat. Boring eh? I gots to find something to do. Oh, and more bad news. My cell phone bill this month is going to be astronomical. Yes, I bet it will be over $100. I can't believe that shit. *sigh* I'll be back soon. I just got depressed. Laters.

Ok, it's been a while. Lots have been happening and it's all not in my favor. My brother came to visit last weekend and I had dinner with him and the family. It was a nice time I guess. The bike idea, however, is out of the question now. I am concentrating on getting a car. Yes. My car is ending is life soon. I can feel and hear it. Anyway, my proposed plan is to get a 3000GT in the coming months...hopefully. I have been under serious pressure lately. Everyone seems to be against me. That's ok though. I don't even know what to do sometimes. I think about what I should do every night before I go to bed and whatever I choose, I change by day's end. I can't make up my mind. Should I buy a car? Should I save up? What should I do? No idea. No one can help me. 2 1/2 more weeks until camp's over and everyone comes home. I'm glad about that. I can't wait for this new school year to start. I mean it. This Summer, sad to say, has been one of my worst. Many reasons contribute to this, but yeah. Currently I have no stereo in my car since I took it out on Saturday hoping I would get a car Sunday. It's Wednesday now and I haven't gotten a damn car. I don't think I will for a bit. I'm not going to install my stereo anytime soon. I may just have to go without stereo for a while. It's not so bad though. I mean, music in the car is something almost everyone who drives take granted for. It's not really necessary (except for those looooooong road trips). I really don't need it. I'm doing fine without it. It's nice to have some quiet sometimes. My credit card is almost paid off (yes, again). I don't know what I'm going to do after that, if I should cancel it or something. Yeah, well, it's burning hot in my room. I'm going to go cool off. See ya.

I think I may have come to a conclusion...after days and weeks of trying to get something, and you can't get it after you've gone through all your options, maybe it's just destined for you not to get it? I say this regarding the motorcycle that I want to get. I have tried everything. Nothing is going right. Tomorrow I will know if I got my loan for the bike or not. I'm serious about this decision. If I don't get this loan, screw it. I'm not going to get a bike until next Spring at least. I mean, why else won't things go my way? I don't know. I'm just bitter. I feel bad about leaving the guy whose bike I am going to buy in the open like this. Oh well. And then I buy this dry mist fan for $111...and it works like a piece of shit. I'm returning it tomorrow, and hopefuly I don't have to pay for shipping, but even if I don't, I'm out $21. I learn by doing. I learned my lesson. Everything in this world costs what they do because it's valued at that price. Simple as that. If you try and get something that worth $500 for, say, $200, it's probably due to some reason that the seller doesn't want to disclose and wants you to find out afterwards. The bottom line? Work, work, work, save, save, save and finally buy what you want to get at the price they charge. No shortcuts. Sadly, my head doesn't function that way. When I see something, it immediately tries to find a way around it to get it cheaper or better yet, free. I can't change this. I know that. The only thing I can do is to learn to control it. I am just waiting for Chris to come by now. I'll tell him the bad news, talk a little, and I'm off to bed. I hate the troubles that I have in my life. It's caused by one thing. Money. If I had enough of it, I would be living just fine. Unfortunately, I'm not like other well off 20-year-olds in the world. I have to work. Pay bills. Earn the shit I want. But in a way I like it. I'm already experiencing the real world. Of course, some people my age might never have to live like me. Good for them. But they'll never feel the satisfaction and sense of achievement that I feel. Paying my bills with the money I earn. Buying the things I've wanted with the money I earn. The list goes on and on. That's all I have to say for now.

Life has a way of swinging things around in complete directions sometimes. I'm sure everyone can relate to that. I got a call, well, a voicemail, from Ben today. That was a surprise. He wanted to know if and when we were going to play against coach and settle the money bet. I am not in the shape or skill to do that, but I will nonetheless. Maybe next week we'll set up a time. At least he hasn't forgotten about me. Anyway, back to what I was saying. Life is strange to say the least. I may get my bike tomorrow after some good news came my way. If I see a good one, it's mine. $4000 is my max though...maybe $4300...but no more. I can't afford it. After selling all the software, I'm going to try and save up. I have my job interview for my second job on Wednesday. You know something? Job interviews seem a lot more unnecessary when I already have a primary job. This second job would be great if I get it, but then again, it doesn't really matter if I don't. :) So, I am going to write a letter to Laura (e-mail) after this. I have something to tell her. I am going to hit the head soon. The faster I sleep, the faster the reality of getting my bike hits me. Hehe. Laters.

The import show was cool. I don't know if it was worth $16, but I got to see my favorite car! A Nissan Skyline GT-R. A very rare site indeed. You find me one strolling along the city, you call me. And then I got to thinking, where do all these guys (and gals) who own these cars get their money? It costs hundreds and thousands of cars to do these things to the cars, not to mention buying the car itself. Do they work? Sell drugs? Ask their parents? I don't know. I know that I sure as hell don't have enough money to do this, even if I do work TWO jobs. Life is one big obstacle for me. Really. I have to work to get what I want. And I have to work REALLY hard to get what I REALLY want. It's proportional. I want to see a movie? I work 45 minutes. I want to buy a bike? Hell, hundreds of hours of work there. Truth is, I don't really need a bike. I keep writing that in here, but I keep telling myself, I need a bike. I don't...I'm doing fine with just my p.o.s. car. It gets me to work, school, and other necessary places. That's all I need in life, right? Wrong. Humans need fun. That's how we grow and learn and live. I can't emphasize enough our striving for fun. Everyone wants it. It may come in different forms, but everyone will kill for it, literally. Well, tomorrow my first work day in 4 days. For a person complaining about money, I sure as hell aren't working enough. :) Well, I get paid this Friday, so. We'll take it week...err, two weeks by two weeks, shall we? Here's to a good Summer.

It's been some time since I wrote. Laura and Ashley and friends came up the 17th. That may explain why. I was at Estes Park for two days and Laura and I came home after we couldn't get a hold of anyone and we kinda ran out of things to do. We did go up a tramway and fed squirrels, went to dinner, looked at shops and stuff. It was fun though. I guess Ashley and TJ are together now. He's cool. I guess I can put "he's ok", too. I don't know. We then went to Rod's work (the 4 of us). He was pretty mad about that. A little fun isn't all that bad is it? And then my luck...I swear, my luck is changing rapidly these days. I checked my checking account and I find out I'm overdrawn $146. What the fuck is up with that? Upon further research, there's a mysterious returned deposit of $316.76. Now, it can be one of two things. Ashley's Dad's check bounced, and Laura's parent's check bounced. I haven't made a deposit for that amount ever, but it's the same as the rent here, so it's one of their rent checks. I am in the process of finding out who's it is. I can't remember which one of them wrote a check that was $.10 over the rent. I am pretty positive it's Laura's parent's check, since I remember her saying "Look, you made $.10". I am going to call her about it now. Hold on. No one picked up. I realized that I told Ashley to tell her parents about it, though it may not be them. Oh well. Ashley's Dad will e-mail me back hopefully today and I will get this straightened up soon. I can't afford this kind of layover time. I need to fucking pay bills and shit. I can't write checks if I'm overdrawn. God DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, today Chris and I are going to an import show in Denver. Paid $16, so it better be worth it. But my bike buying process has come to a halt, for one thing this stupid check return and the other thing my financial aid status is yet unknown. No way am I going to buy a bike if I'm to pay for this myself.

Ugh...*sigh* *slump*...I'm drifting in and out of sleep...and I'm at work. I just started. Damn, I can barely stay awake typing this. I need to find something to do or find a way home...*closes eyes* *opens eyes* *hits head on keyboard* fjknfddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.*wakes up* oh shit...

Late tonight, Laura and Ashley are to arrive here. I'm excited for that, even though I probably will be sleeping by then and I'm actually going to be bummed out that I was awakened by their loud noise making. Today at work was VERY uneventful, as 100% of my office was at a picnic. I opted to pass, since I wasn't that kind of person, but I did get to eat a couple deviled eggs that was served by my superior. My bike searching woes continue, though, I may have found a bike. A 1998 Kawasaki ZX-11. Yes, a ZX-11. Do you know what that means. Instead of the entry-level 600cc that I SHOULD be purchasing, as I have never rode a bike, let alone sat on one before, it's going to be a blistering 1049cc...the owner claims to produce 142HP, which is almost 50 more than my current car. I don't know if I'm ready to tackle a bike that enormously powerful, but we'll see. It's nicely priced at $4500, which should make my monthly payments near $115 a month. Also, I checked the insurance and it didn't go up at all. Strange on this kind of bike, yes. Oh well. My gain. I e-mailed him about some specifics as the mileage, since it stated he rebuilt the engine at 13000 miles. I don't know why you'd do that, but yeah, I better go have it checked by a motorcycle mechanic for "hidden" damages, if there are any. If not, this may be the bike to get. I will have fun with this one! At that kind of power, I'd put the top speed somewhere around 170mph, which I would never go...at my experience level, that is. It is black though, so. I'll keep you updated. People are very strange. They do things sometimes that they never said they would and they say things to make other think differently. I do the same, but some go to extremes. Some don't even listen to others. I don't know. I love being negative about things. It makes everything that's positive in my life that much better, is my view. If you're always optimistic, when will you be surprised about something if you already knew it was going to happen? Something to think about. Chris has bought the Eclipse. He's getting it Friday and I will give or not give my approval on Saturday and we're going to an import show in Denver on Sunday. Hopefully it was worth my $16. I got Rounders from Laura a couple days ago and I'm going to watch it as I get time tonight. It's a great movie, for those who have never watched it. The lawn mower guys mowed the lawn today, like completely. I'm just waiting to get charged for this, though I haven't gotten charged since we moved in. Anyway, it's kinda hot up in my room. I was actually cold last night and this morning. I didn't want to get up at all. Well, catch you later.

So yesterday was quite a bumpy road. First of all, Laura and everybody came late, at like 5 instead of 3 or so. Then they waited for other people to come to go eat dinner. I couldn't wait. I was getting worried as the crowd at the house grew and the voice levels rose. Laura and I went to Rod's work to get a car wash. Laura was in a baaaaad mood from like 6:30 to 10, which wasn't very good AT ALL. She wouldn't talk to me, so I went to SIlvermine Subs and got us something to eat, went to King Soopers and got some Ben and Jerry's for her, and a drink. We talked for a bit and everything settled down. We went to the party with the camp kids. Ugh. Camp. Camp, camp, camp. She's annoying, why did you choose me, who do you hate, blah. Laura didn't get to finish her laundry, and we ended up staying about an hour. Good for me huh? That was about the gist of the night. By the way, I hate people who write "jist". I just want to strangle them, lynch them, and brand them. Idiots. Learn some god damn vocabulary. Now, I just came back from Starbucks and to no surprise, Chris wasn't there. I think that's the end of the Starbucks thing. There's no two strikes and you're out shit. It's 2 in my book. I have nothing to do today. I'll find something. Later.

Before I forget this is in my head, I would like to say Contact was one of THE WORST movies that I have seen in my life. I had high hopes for this movie as it had to do with extraterrestrial life, but as the movie continued, it just sucked. I pushed through to see the scenes where the she goes to vega, but even that sucked. I would rank it #2 worst movie in my list, next to Deep Blue Sea. Hell, at least Deep Blue Sea had good special effects. A total disappointment. I should burn the movie. On a better note, Chris and I had a looooong night of driving last night/this morning. He came over at around 11pm and said he was bored, and so was I, as I was watching the movie Contact (see above review). We proceded to drive around town and cruise and after a bit, Chris suggested we go wherever half a tank of gas would take us up North. So we proceded to drive 2 hours North on 287 and we got to a little town called Medicine Bow, a population of about 390, I believe. We were about 1/4 up Wyoming. We talked about a myriad of things on the way up and back. A good time so to speak. We bought chips, drinks, and cookies to supply our hunger for the trip. Tell you what, it killed 4 hours, so I think it was a good way to kill time. The scary church (a small church about 40-60 miles from here on the side of the road) was damn scary at 2 in the morning. I dared Chris and some money for him to go to the church and come back. He wouldn't budge. We discovered that 136.1 miles North of here in Wyoming, in the absence of city lights and house lights at that, the stars shine quite bright, as Chris insists we saw "the milky way". All things aside, looking at the stars from where we were was amazing. It kind of reminds us what we're missing sometimes living in the city. I probably saw more stars last night than I saw ever, combined (with me living in LA and Longmont, where stars are seldom seen) in my life. I advise anyone who has the time, gas money, and company, to venture out into nothing (I suggest Wyoming, Montana, and pretty much any plains states), and look up for just a minute and let the serenity of silence and peace absorb into you. Laura will be here in a couple of hours, which I'm excited about. I may take a trip into town. Maybe coffee or something. I may just be "out of the house" when she gets here to tease her. Hehe. Funny me.

I'm currently doing my laundry at Chris' house. I'm going to go turn in my timesheet at CSU around 4:30 and then drop by and pick up my laudry. I didn't get paid as much this time, though I worked the same amount of hours. This worries me. I wrote an e-mail about it. Well, while I was waiting for the washer to finish in the laundry room, I walked about the basement and stuff, like my room and my bathroom. I got a rush of memories. Like, I remember all the good times I had there. That was around Fall of 2001. I doubt it'll be like that again. It was just fun, you know? I do miss the old house, though I don't regret moving out. I ate, watched some TV (first time since early June), and I'm writing in here now. Gosh, that paycheck that's lower than usual is really worrying me. I can't check my e-mail until Monday, so I'll have to wait until then if I am to get an answer. I should have sent the e-mail through Hotmail. Damn. I have a few bids on the stuff I have on eBay, but nothing on my digital camera. Dammit. I found a great thing to do earlier today. Since students like me get huge discounts for software and stuff, I think I may buy software and sell it on eBay for near full price. I don't know if it'll work, but it's worth a try. Well, I'm gonna get going. Tomorrow Ashley, Laura, and 7 other people are coming here. Yes, I thought the same thing. I'll be cleaning up on the Sunday, that's for sure. Bye.

Ok, so I really didn't go to sleep. I really was, until I went into Laura's room to find a book of some sort and I began to put together the frame I got for her for the Dave Matthews poster. It took about 20 minutes, as it was confusing for one, and pretty hard to do by yourself since the glass seemed like it was going to break. Then I was standing there looking at her photos and stuff and I began to wonder. Why don't I have a lot of photos? I guess my family was not a photo family, like Ashley's or Laura's, but sometimes I wish they were. I like not having photos for reasons aplenty, but it's nice to have something to look at when you were younger. I guess my photo album is in my head. Thankfully I was blessed with great long-term memory and I remember thngs really cleary. I still remember when Nmy brother taught me how to ride a bicycle, when I played golf with my brothers, when I went to Disneyland with my Mom and when I used to go to my Dad's work and every trip that I have gone to. Most of the time it's best left in my head, but some of the great times I want to share it with people, but I can't. I can only tell them about it. That's frustrating in the inside. Though I probably will never be into taking pictures everywhere I go, I will take a few shots here and there. No reason. Just to have something. I look around my house and there's pictures and pictures in frames, albums, and just lying around of Ashley and her friends, Laura and her friends and so forth. I like looking at them. I don't know. Lately I've just been thinking because I have so much time on my hands. Nothing else to do. I think about some of the choices I've made and what would have happened if I chose different and I play out an alternate future. Do you do that? I've played out so many different paths, it's ridiculous. And in the end, I'm just fine where I am now. I have great friends, an okay living area (hehe), a good job, and a great girlfriend. It's hard sometimes in life just to think about the important things. If you're rich, then you can think about the luxury aspect. But if you're living paycheck to paycheck, like how I practically am, things are a whole lot different. Days and weeks are passing by so quickly for me, I feel like I'm wasting my life. It seems just yesterday, I moved into the dorms with Chris, setting up our room, computers, and furniture, getting ready for a crazy experience called college. College isn't as different as any other time of my life. I'm just opened up to a whole new group of people that I'll most likely never meet. :) The friends I make in middle school and H.S. don't mean anything they say and the friends you make in college are the special ones. Not that kind of special. You know what I mean. I think that's true to some extent. To me anyway. My life's been affected the most through college I think. I've learned a lot of things to do, not to do, and what I can do. I've learned to accept others the way they are and not try to change them. I've learned not to go without car insurance for 6 months and find out getting insurance afterwards is a humongous dent in your wallet. And I've learned that I can't live by myself. People need to be surrounded by people. I haven't really lived by myself like this ever and it sucks. Sometimes my best companion is sleep. Now's that's wasting my life. So, enough of this depressing blog crap and the other similar blogs that I've been writing recently. I think the Summer has hit bottom for me this year and from now in it's just on the rise, so I'm happy. If in one year I can learn to live with two crazy girls, :), be away from your loved one for 3 months, have absolutely no money to do anything and sleep all day, I think I can handle pretty much anything. Yup, anything. See ya.

I'm just about to log off, I mean, go to bed, for the night. I decided to sell a few more things on eBay to make my bills a little more pleasing to my wallet. I forgot to write this down a few days ago. I had a cup of water in my hand, well, actually I think it was on the desk. Anyhoo, I was doing whatever I was doing and I reached over the keyboard to touch the monitor or something and when I retracted my hand, it caught on the cup, spilling a few ounces of water on the major left side of the keyboard. I hastedly grabbed the keyboard, waving it around like a maniac in panic, trying to get the majority of the water out. At this time, I though the keyboard was shot. Electronics and water don't fair well the last time I checked. I was pissed, but I decided to stand the keyboard up behind the fan in the room and put the fan on full blast. I left for about 15 minutes and when I came back, the keyboard seemed dry and it worked! Thank you very much to the process of evaporation. This Logitech keyboard is one tough mother. I recommend you all get it if you spill stuff constantly, but just water. I don't know how it reacts to the aftermaths of Kool-Aid or Coke and I will rather not try. Thanks to Laura for getting me such a durable keyboard. The mouse right now is out of commission, just due to batteries, which I can't even find or get. The batteries in the mouse have just enough juice to keep the lights of the laser flickering, but not usable. Bummer. I am currently using Laura's mouse, as my other one just ceased to work. Yes, for no reason. Electronics sometimes. I went on eBay and discovered a wondrous section of "travel". There you can find lots of travel packages, cruises and stuff for so cheap!!!!! I'm talking less than $100 for a few nights stay at like, Cozumel, Puerto Vaerta (?), and Las Vegas. Damn, I have got to bid on one of these sometime. Maybe for me and Laura? Well, the room is beginning to heat up, probably because the enormous heat cloud that this monitor and computer produce, so I'm going to turn it off and read some books or something. Laura calls me tomorrow! (Hopefully after 8 to reduce the damn phone bill). Signing off...

Anna Faris is hot. Check out www.anna-faris.com and you'll see what I'm talking about. If you don't know who she is, she's the girl from Scary Movie 1 and 2. Anyway, I realized that I work differently than most people. Granted, all people are different, to an extent, but I'm extreme. I'm extreme about punctuality, cleanliness (sometimes) and stuff like that. Another thing weird about me is that I learn from trying. That's not such a bad thing, but when it comes to getting a pet, like I did about a month ago, that's the only way to go for me. Of course, there are people, like my Mom and Laura, who say that I should have thought about it more. Yes, true, but thinking only takes you so far. What if I wanted to experience it too? Anyhow, sometimes even I think it's weird for me to have a dog for a month to figure out that it just wasn't going to work and I had to give it back. The dog might have had it coming too. Everytime a thunder goes, it came running upstairs. It put its paws in the water dish and made a mess. Ran around like an idiot sometimes.Yeah, oh well. I learned my lesson. I need time and money. The bike that I was going to get is probably going to work the same way. I can't get enough until I have it and tried for it myself. I don't take stories from others' experience. Just not enough, you know? I will get the damn bike myself if it takes months or years. I will get the bike. Earlier today I thought my fridge was broken again, but luckily it wasn't. Just some condensation from the open water dispenser. It's going away now. It's a really cool night out tonight. Temperature wise. I looked at my phone bill...$19 over. It was $61. God damn! I went over on the anytime minutes. Probably calling and talking to Laura. I'll have to tell her we need to keep it lower this time. I can't pay these outrageous prices. The last month was fucking $48. It's just rising and rising. Well, I'm going to do some research on the 'net on some stuff I wanted to look up.

What am I supposed to do with my life? I don't know. I don't know what I want to do. I don't know where to do what I don't know what to do. I have no answers, but I like to live in the present. I worry only the important things when it comes to the future, like paying bills, rent, etc. Not education, work, what I'll be doing in 5 months. I just don't let it get to me. Now, that could be a downfall in my personality, but hey, that's how I live. Spontaneity is bliss...unless you travel to Japan and have nowhere to stay (it's a long story...it's really for 3-4 people actually). I think I may stay at Front Range and get an Associate of Arts degree...or, wait, maybe I'll go back to CSU...but wait, maybe I'll take online college courses and graduate that way. I have no idea. Let me tell you exactly all that's in my head right now, at this moment: Why can't I get a bike, it's hot in here, I miss Laura, I wonder if she's coming down this weekend, I wonder how much I'll have after I pay my ridiculous credit card bill, should I cut up my credit card bill, yes I think I should cut up my credit card bill, what should I do tomorrow, and I can't wait until I get paid Friday. So, the farthest day away that I'm thinking about is pretty much the end of the week. I was looking at some of the alumni list at my old H.S. and I came across this one kid I knew, pretty damn smart kid, going to Stanford and all. I remember when we used to hang out. We both came very different paths. I'm sure he'll be successful (probably) in the future. But is he a better person than me? Of course, it's very opiniated...I don't know. Whatever. I'll have something in the future and so will he. Let's just hope for my sake that I'm happy and doing something I like. I've been wanting to travel lately too. Mostly to England. I want to be in another continent. Just somewhere out of this state, but yeah, England would be nice. I want to take Laura too. Wouldn't that be even nicer. I've decided on a lot of things earlier today. I am determined to go through with it all this time though. The first thing's first. Pay off the credit card bill. After I put this rent check in the bank tomorrow and I get paid on Friday, I'm going to sit down, balance everything out, pay off all current bills, credit card, etc. and I'm going to save up. Save up like a madman. I don't know what for, but I'm sure maybe in the vicinity of Christmas time, I'll have enough money to do SOMETHING. I'll decide then what I'll do with the money, but yeah, I'm going to save up and up and up.