Just came back from Chris' house and seems like his date went good, but they decided to stay friends or whatever...Chris tells me that she said she didn't have enough time for a serious relationship and that boosting his confidence was the only thing he was aiming for, so. Sounds good I guess. Tomorrow I am going to Longmont to give my Mom my car payment for the month. I don't have to go to work thanks to the little ol' darky (you know why I said that, Laura) and his fight for freedom. If you didn't get that, I already mentioned that it's MLK Jr.'s day. Great man, great man. Um, I also borrowed the The Royal Tennenbaums because Laura wanted to see it, and that Grant liked it too. Plus it's the least that I can do for the cool weekend that they gave us. I also bought some roses. It's just weird how people change in front of other people or for other people. Sometimes they're totally tolerable and nice and shit, but then when you combine them with certain others, it just gets out of control. Just a thought to dwell on. Also, I just realized that I have been doing this blog thing for over a year now...about 13-14 months. Incredible. There's a lot of information that's within these pages that I don't want lost. Maybe I'll print them out sometime or something. I just hope blogger.com doesn't go the way of Enron. I guess it's not THAT big of a deal, but it's something that's nice to have. I really wish that I could get back those few weeks that I deleted that I can't seem to get back anymore. If anyone visitor to blogger.com is reading this and knows any way to get "unindexed" pages back to your archives and posted, please e-mail me at jamyam@hotmail.com. I guess I can just do some research on how blogger works, but I don't want to do that work. Still have to get school supplies tomorrow. I think I'll get them at the bookstore at front range so that I don't have to pay for it and just charge it to my financial aid account. While I was there some time ago, I saw some software there that seemed cool. If there was Windows XP or something, I would probably get it. Just that there wasn't. Only Office XP. I really don't need that. Prechecking my classes for this semester, it seems like Biology is going to be my hardest class. Either that or computer networking because 93%+ is an A and I know that people can just slack off and get like a 91% for a B, so. Hard work lies ahead. I'm headed for the bathroom now. Have yourself a good night.

Well, just got back from the surprise weekend. It was really fun. Even though I "knew" that we were staying somewhere, the hotel we stayed in was really nice. We ate at this Mongolian Barbeque place and it was great. Afterwards, we went ice skating, then came back and watched most of Shrek. The next day (today) we went to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science after we ate a little breakfast and then to Cinzetti's for the lunch. It was an all and all great time. Thanks Laura. Then I just find out that Grant, who works at Best Buy, can get a major discount off stuff anything in the store and with that information coinciding with the fact that Laura and I want a camcorder right now, it's very, very, very inticing. We may very well go there later tonight and buy it. If it's near half off...it's going to be only around $250. So, that's no bad at all. They're in the other room playing SIMS, but I really want a camcorder...though, I also want that and a mobile entertainment center. Anyway, I'm going to relax a little. It's been an eventful day...possibly the most since, well, a long while. Tomorrow is MLK Jr. day and it's a day off...so. Maybe a little playing around with the camcorder? lol. See ya.

I set up my desktop with a new style and I seem to like it better. Today some disturbing news from a person I don't necessarily want to associate with found its way into Laura's e-mail inbox. I am quite pissed, but everything's settled. If it happens again, however, I'm really going to snap. And it's not going to be pretty. The batteries in the mouse are good. We'll just see if they really last as long as Rayovac claims them to last. We are going to Mancino's tonight. I haven't ate there in the longest. I am split on deciding a calzone or grinder. I am using my credit card like mad. I need to tone it down. But as long as the tax return (or some of it actually) pays off the old card, I'm in good shape. Tomorrow we leave for the surprise that Susan and Laura has planned for us. It seems as though we will be back on Sunday. I have to cancel the coffee with Chris. We might reschedule, but we may not. Then school starts on Tuesday. Wow, break went by...well, both fast and slow. More fast than slow. I have Monday to look over my classes and get back into school mode again. I have to go buy some supplies too. A notebook and a pencil will do it. Actually, I already have a pencil so I'll just get a one subject notebook. 4.0 is my goal...but more realistically, it's going to be hovering near 3.5. I decided yesterday to take my Mom out for dinner (sushi to be exact) on her b-day. It's the least I can do. TJ is still here. He's moved into his dorm though for the most part for all I know. I finally figured out why I couldn't watch...wait, I might have already posted this information in another blog...I think I have. I'll stop. I have been in the mode to buy something. Seriously. This $1000 limit credit card is not something that I want to have when I have no money and I have a lot of expenses to pay for. Right now I am in the middle of a portable computers (not a laptop), Gamecube, a camcorder (even though I say we don't need that, Laura says it will be a good investment), a dryer, which we really need but in reality I will probably buy it when we move next, and maybe a Gameboy Advance or even a TV for my car. I am just in a dilemma. Anyway, I'm going to search for stuff on eBay. I'll let you know if I buy anything...I will get close to, but I won't really in the end. My conscience is a strong one...

Seems like the blogger is working correctly for a while. I say that because sometimes it doesn't show all the archives and stuff, but anyway. Today we went to Walmart and Laura got me some recharcheable batteries (Rayovac) because I began to think of the usefulness of these babies. Recharges in 1 hour and lasts 3X longer than regular batteries and on top of that, it rechargeable 1000+ times. You can't beat that. I am yet to try it, but I will probably by tonight. TJ is moving into the dorms today. School is starting to come back into session. Yesterday Laura and I went to Best Buy and we saw a couple of camcorders that we would like to have. Not that we NEED it, but it would be just cool. I was looking at the digital 8 kinds. Only about 400-500 dollars. Maybe sometime. Right now, I have to buy Laura's b-day/valentine's present, which is going to set me back, hopefully not so much, before I have to start paying the damn insurance bills again. I am waiting anxiously for my W-2 for tax return purposes. I should get close to $1000 back, which is nice and is also a large sum of money that I wouldn't know what to do with. I probably will pay $500 to the insurance to get a lot of it out of the way, then the rest I have no idea...exhaust?...TV in car?...computer even? I don't know. Maybe I'll save it for a spring break trip. I did, though, find an awesome mini pc online. This thing is a complete working computer and it's fricken small! 2.5" thin, 6.5" wide and like 7" deep...you can get any smaller than that. I was going to get that, but a monitor. Then I can put that in the car and...yeah...I'm dreamin'. Anyway, that's it for this update. Seems like this weekend is going to be the days that Laura and Susan is going to give me and Grant a surprise. We don't know what it is, but the only thing I know is that we're going to be travelling somewhere. Who knows where? I'll report on it whenever we get back. Lates.

Ah, I got more ramen from my Mom. Good thing because I was running low. I was just watching the video of Good Charlotte's "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous". I was closely listening to the lyrics more than watching the video and what they is probably true to some extent. The rich snobs of this world have probably gotten to the point where they wouldn't be able to stand the lifestyles of even a modest living family/lifestyle. Everything probably is handed to them in a bowl and stuff. How pointless their lives must be. I will admit to some degree that they must have gotten there with SOME kind of effort, whether that be practicing to act or learning to play instruments, sing, or just to act like a dumbass on TV. I'm sure there's a reason why everyone can't be like them. They must have some skill for this "talent". But then there are those who become rich and famous through their family, born into a wealthy society, etc. These people I hate. And then I begin to think of the lowest classes of this country. There are people who really live badly. Even I feel ashamed at myself about how I live compared to this folk. I am not rich or anything, but I don't consider myself poor...though sometimes I do and sometimes I really am. I try not to act like it. Even when I have money and I KNOW that spending it is no big deal, I hesitate inside about spending it. Peer pressure plays a big role. I always think how well off I'll be, or not be, in the next 10 years...and what I'll be like presenting myself in front of the same peers that I went to high school with at the reunion...if I'm able to attend, that is. I always wanted to live in a peaceful, happy little town, maybe no more than a few thousand people when I grow up. I watched TV as people walked everywhere, the barber shop, store, sidewalk, and they would know people. I'd like it to be like that for me. That's not for a while, so I have nothing to worry about. I think right now the key is the live as much as I can while I'm in the position I am. College is pretty laid back. You go to classes less than high school, don't have to listent to your parents...well, SOME people don't, and it's a period of time where you experiment and try out new things. Trust me I did! Some things you learn NOT to do again, some things you WANT to do again, and some things you just CAN'T do again. With that said, I like the life that I've lived. I don't think I've held myself back much. Granted there are times here and there that I wish I would have done different, but heck, everyone has that, you know. I don't care. Time goes on. There's bound to be a chance like that again. And then again, what if that one chance you got was just that, one chance? Then that sucks for you. :) I just want to be able to look back at my life and say, wow, I did a lot of things in my lifetime and I loved every minute of it. That's really my goal. I don't care if I become super rich or super famous. I don't even give a damn if I get a good job or education. Some will agree with me and some will not. If I won the lottery, I wouldn't know what to do really. I tell people that I would get a car, house, and all the stuff that I've always wanted. Truth is, I probably wouldn't get a new car until I really needed it. I wouldn't get a house until I really needed. Would I quit working and going to college if I was set for life? Probably not. Doing these things is what life is. Take that away and all you do is just live and not experience anything. I read somewhere if people would rather choose to die among their friends happily at 30 or die lonely at 85...I put my money everytime that they'll choose the first choice. No one wants to be lonely. Even if I live to be 300 or 3000, I wouldn't, I would choose to die earlier with my friends. Sometimes I'm too hard on my friends, I know, especially Laura. I don't know how she handles me! I love her for it though. Well...nothing much else to say. Tonight felt good to talk about this. Life isn't always about money, though it painfully is and it controls every aspect of how we live. The thing you have to make sure is don't let money control you...or else bad things happen...and most of the trouble will stem from the IRS. :) Land of the freedom my ass.

Before I start playing Starcraft and then calling Laura, I'd like to get in a few rants. First, I got my eye lids back, paid $95 and I think they've done a great job. The paint closely matches that of the car and that's what I was most worried about. Putting it on is the next step and I don't know how I'm going to accomplish that. I am going to go buy some sticky tape...VERY strong sticky tape and figure out a way so that the lids go go flying...$95 isn't worth it to just throw away. Second, I realize sometimes things happen not because it just happens, but because the event happens hoping to create a cause. Just a thought. I'm going to go downstairs and make sure my eye lids are drying and curing nicely, and then it's off to play some starcraft. Other than that, have a good night...I'm picking Laura up tomorrow from Denver. 1 day earlier than scheduled. Also, I checked on Ben's monitor and looks like UPS tried to deliver it today, but, yes, you guessed it, Ben would have gotten it if he was awake. Actually, I think he WAS awake, but I don't know. His loss I suppose. See ya!

I just spend money left and right! Well, I went to the body shop and just came back and I left the eyelids there and they said it would be ready by tomorrow around 5pm. Then I'd had to wait another day or so for the paint to fully cure, and then I can install it. Hopefully it will install correctly and not look all ghetto. The lids came with some 3M double-sided tape, but I'm going to go buy more because I don't want them flying off when I'm on the highway, you know? I'll make sure to get that thing on there good. Well, off to calculate my budget for the next two weeks since I get paid tomorrow and this paint job is going to cost around $100...damn, but I have to start thinking of presents for Laura and man, I'm going to be broke for the next month.

Stupid me...I can't believe I did this. I checked my own blog to make sure my posts were showing up correctly and when I did, I couldn't find the long one that I just wrote...so I was like, ok, must be blogger.com, so I refreshed and refreshed and finally restarted the computer to completely flush out my internet cache and still no luck...only to find out that I changed the post settings so that the latest ones go on the BOTTOM and not the top, like I was used to it doing...so I just promptly changed it. Better now...dumb me...god damn.

Howdy all. It's another edition of James' late night rants and babbles. I just received my "eye lids" for my car from Chris. They seem to be just fine. Gotta take them to the body shop and have them paint it now. Hopefully they won't charge me an arm and a leg for them! I am thinking the painting is going to cost around $50...maybe more, maybe less. Hopefully less if I tell them I'll be here for the body kit (which will probably not happen) and the fact that I've gone there already and I'm a repeat customer. Hopefully!!!!! So, well, another day passes. Already a week into the new year. Suzanne messaged me today. The first time in maybe a year or something. She got a new e-mail address and stuff. Nothing new I guess. Laura is coming tomorrow and she wants me to be asleep for when she gets here. I have to kill some time since I usually wake up around 7-8 automatically. But yeah, I've been feeling better lately about everything and my outlook for this year. It seems like I'm finally on the right track you know? I remember last year around this time, I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I wasn't doing well in school at all...it was the semester that I needed to do really good, and I eventually gave up around March or something. Pathetic yeah. I wasn't motivated at all and during the last few months, I've figured stuff out, you know and realized that I can't keep doing what I was doing (this was around the beginning of last summer). I knew I could do what I did last semester...just wasn't motivated and now I have what I need. Sometimes you need something to hit you hard, you know? Hitting the bottom academic-wise was the cure for me. I was just playing Rod in chess and I kicked his ass. I think he got mad because he was talking to me through the game and for some reason I couldn't answer back, so he probably thought I was ignoring him. Anywhoo, I'm about pooped out for tonight. Hopefully I'll wake up later than when Laura gets here...but I also want to check the body shop for the price of painting the eye lids. I don't want to do that because that'll have to be in the morning...but then again I guess I can head over there in the afternoon after Laura leaves. I'll do that. Maybe they'll be done by this weekend or something. That would be cool. I am eager to see it in action. We put it on for a test run tonight, but when I turn the headlights on, since it's not painted, the light shines through. I hope the painting of the lids block out the light trying to escape. Also, tomorrow will be a fun in more than one way!!! :) Oh man, funny, funny...

Okay, everytime I try to buy sometime on the down low, or, better explanation would be, not so extravagantly, I go crazy and get stuff that I know won't use. Anyway, there was a Primus stove on sale, so I got that. I bought a few fuel bottles to keep me stocked up. I should have stopped there, but I got some storm proof matches, fire starters and a heating pad...??? Oh well. $50 altogether that I could have just saved and bought something else with. Damn me. Well, the good news is that together with the new sleeping bag that Laura got me and her new tent, I want to go camping quite bad, even though it may be kinda cold up there. Ah, the joys of being me. I'm off to watch a movie now. Laters.

Okay, so my MSN is all back to normal. Found a new chat logger like I had a while back. I'm just surfing around right now. I think I am actually going to buy a gas stove for camping. I want to go soon. I am looking at them right now...I'll be back if I purchase! Hm...there's a good one that's on sale for 37% off...I'll be back. I'm deciding now...um, yeah, I'll be back to write in here.

Today's not a good day. I thought something was wrong with my MSN, so I uninstalled my 5.0 and installed 4.6...that didn't work and I find out the problem is on Microsoft's side. So I reinstall 5.0 again, but I can't get the polygamy patch to work and now there are ads back on my MSN again...fuckin eh.

Well yesterday it was a surprise that I got to see Laura. I wasn't planning on it but people went to Ocean Journey and I decided to go to. I think they wanted me to go because someone needed to drive back from Denver. Anyway, my MSN doesn't work worth shit right now. Something's wrong and the status of the network (MSN's) says it's operational. God damn it. I skipped work today and it'll be a half day tomorrow. There's a 50/50 chance I get my braces off tomorrow, but considering there is still a little gap in this one place, I doubt it would get taken off. I just paid for Ben's LCD monitor. That may be confusing. He gave me his credit card number and I paid for him. He should have his computer all received and ready to go by next week, if not late this week, like Saturday. Laura is going to try to come up on Thursday. Hopefully I can ditch work again. :) I have to go to CSU today to check to see if my timesheet has to be in early or not. I went yesterday, but the damn building was closed. Ashley is making something downstairs...smells sorta over cooked? Anyway, I'm gonna get dressed and head there now. My MSN better work by then. My finger is close to healed. I can put pressure on it again, but I can't put pressure against the fingernail...it kinda hurts. So, one more day, or I can start using my finger so it heals faster. Ashley just left. Weird. Um, yeah, have a good day.

One thing that I wanted to blabber about was that the movie Empire brought up the issue that America is the land for success and all that matters is money, respect, and power. That is true to some extent. The movie also goes on to emphasize the importance of friends in life. Very true. The plot is the classic would-you-leave-your-lifelong-friends-to-become-rich scheme. The people you meet at the top of the economy aren't usually the best of friends you'll ever meet. Some of the best friends are created through the toughest of times. I myself try not to be too concerned with money, but it's fun to talk about it. It's when it takes you over that you need to start worrying. Money can't buy true friendship, though some out there think they can. And I'm sure you can for a very little percentage of the time. Money hungry folk will do anything to get more money. I empathized with the guy in the movie for the most part. Hopefully I won't follow the same path if the chance ever confronts me.

Well, it's the weekend and my finger is almost to full healing. One more day? I can type way more easily now. Laura just called and she is now back in Denver. She had fun. I have some stories too. Well last night Chris and I went to Westminster to see Empire, which was a great movie. A lot of mexicans in the theater though and this one fucking cracker fuck was behind me kicking the chair all through the movie. I was about to bust his ass and kill his family. But anyway, on the way back, I told Chris to find a different way home...bad mistake. First we head down this road and I thought he knew where he was going. He starts going into the mountains and I start becoming worried that he doesn't know where he's going. It's true. We drive for nearly 40 minutes and we end up in FUCKING ESTES PARK. Yes, that's about 40 minutes away from home. So we get there and he's like, I must have turned at a wrong place...no shit. We drive back home and I get home around 3am, when I really wanted to be home at 2am. I don't trust Chris with his "shortcuts" ANYMORE. Then I was like, it would be cool to have a GPS in the car in times like these. It would have helped so much. I was by myself on this road near the house and this dumbass comes up and wants to race me. I was like, fuck it, and he races into my lane and turns. Idiot. I'm going to bake the rest of my bread now. I am fairly hungry. I might make eggs or something too. Anyway, laters.

Well, it's well into the new year and it's time for me to make some resolutions and goals! Um, sure, it's been a couple of days, but who cares. My first resolution is to make Laura and I's relationship even better than last year. :) Next, school. My goal is 3.5 or above. One of my 4-credit geology classes got cancelled due to not enough registrants, so I am currently in Psychology 2, with the same damn teacher I had last year. I really didn't like her. I am contemplating changing to History 2, but I'm not sure yet. I think I'll end up with Psych. Next, I want to go to California this summer. Maybe for a few days or so, but that would be a fund road trip. That means before then, I have to get a LCD screen for my car and other stuff so it will be more entertaining. Don't get me wrong, I love the scenery that we get on the way there. The few moutain ranges that we get to see, and vast open space desert and so on...and absolutely no water. What is up with that? Anyway, maybe save up some money and cut back on the expenses that I put into the car, but we'll see about that. That's about it. Nothing special or out of hand for me. I do want to accomplish a road trip goal, though. We'll see. I'm at work right now, so I'll see you guys later!

Happy new year. And still no keys. This sucks. Also, this morning Laura and I were going to slide the mattress out to checl the other side of the bed and it was heavy so I let it down just a bit, but not all the way and that got Laura's hand stuck in the crack and hurt her, so she let go completely and then my middle finger nail got stuck right in between and hurt the hell outta me! There's a big purple bruise right in the middle and it hurts to even move it. I'm typing, skillfully, without my right middle finger, and I am realize how important that finger really is. But yeah, nothing to report. Just another day.

Well, I had a big blog all written out and guess what, my comp freezes right before I was going to post it. What a day. Anyway, since none of it got to the posting, I'll recap it fast. I was drinking some coffee contemplating calling my Mom for a spare key to my car because my keys are lost. Yes, I have been searching for a couple of hours now I can't find them. The fact is, the doors, I think, doesn't open with the spare key. It has to be the master key, which of course, there is only one. I may possibly have to call a locksmith and have them craft me a new master key. Other than that, and the fact that I was supposed to go with Laura to meet Melanie, a friend of hers that I have heard a lot of, nothing is new. Yes, what a way to begin the new year. Seems like everything is going bad. I'm listening to Crazy Town right now. I configured the computer that Ben is going to buy. He's supposed to come here later and buy it. We'll see about that because he's going to be drunk. Well, happy new years to anyone who celebrates it. TJ is coming tomorrow, which will create some interesting atmosphere. 1 hour to go for the eastern folk until the new year. I always thought of start at New York or something and driving westward and having a few new year's, but I don't think that can happen...I just realized that you'd have to go QUITE fast to cross each time zone in the 1 hour limit you have. I'm stupid yes. Well, I'm back to searching and hopefully finding my KEYS GOD DAMNIT!!!!

Well, the weekend is over and hopefully the "holiday spirit" is gone from the hearts of the millions of people who get into it. Ahem. Ben and Ashley were just downstairs making a trailer gingerbread house. I guess it looks ok? I just got a mini pie thing and it's actually quite good. Ben made whip cream by whipping some egg whites and sugar and it's not bad. Maybe if it was colder. Laura comes back tomorrow and I'm quite happy for that. I'm going to go into work and probably leave early, depending on my mood and the amount of work there is, which is usually very little. I went a little overboard today. Well, I frequent this computer website and they have a list of good deals and stuff. One of them was getting magazine subscriptions really cheap. So, I went to the website and behold, they are cheap! There are a lot of $3.95/year subscriptions and $4.95 ones. I got out of control and got myself 6! Only $30 for those 6, though, so you have to look at the price factor. Anyway, that's about the only thing that's new over the weekend. Chris bought me some eyebrows for my headlights for the car. I got him a subscription to a car magazine (not from the place!). I should get that soon and then I'll have it painted and I'll install that baby. Just waiting for Laura to call right now...and surfing. I really want a Gameboy Advance!!!!

Today is just a blog of a day isn't it? I was just listening to MP3s and Creed's "One Last Breath" came on and I stopped what I was doing for a minute and just thought. I don't know exactly what I was thinking, but I was thinking about Laura for a good part of it. I remember asking Laura what some of the lyrics were and I was re-living that moment. It was weird. And then I realized stuff, but I'll keep that to myself. Nothing bad, I'll tell you that. And then I was reading some stuff online and there was an article saying that the New York Times is going to put a mini disc player in its time capsule to be opened in the year 3000. That got me thinking...too bad I'm not going to be living that long to see that happen (or will I???). And then I was thinking how I was going to leave this world and what it is really like. Reincarnation or an after are my best wishes, but who knows what happens huh? I think it would just be a waste for us to just...die. We should come back or something, at least. I guess since we don't know for sure, we should live our lives the best we can now huh? Sometimes I just want to fast forward to when I'm like 70 and see what I'll be doing. I'm listening to "Time of Your Life" right now. It's a really good song, I've decided. I was telling Laura this some time ago, but I sometimes just stop and think how weird us humans are. Like, how we act the way we do at different times and it's always different between everyone. I was thinking what the other person was thinking while he or she is doing what he or she is doing. Weird I know. I'm a complicated thinker. I was also listening to Vitamin C's "Graduation" and that's a good song too. It's only 7 or so now, but I feel like going to sleep. I have nothing to do and sitting in front of the computer for so long isn't all too healthy for me either. I am missing Good Eats right now. It's almost over anyway. Damn, I wanted to see it too. If I were a little more talented, I would sit down, write out some lyrics, some tabs, and make a song, but I don't think that'll happen in this lifetime. Maybe I'll be reincarned as a destined music artist. That would be pretty cool. I'm gonna get something to drink now. I'll see ya later.