Hopefully tomorrow I'll come home a richer man. I doubt it, but it's better to go gambling with an optimistic attitude...and it IS my first time. Chance and luck are nice to me in general, so we'll see. Didn't go to work today. Did homework instead. Got an at-home exam for biology. Still can't figure out some questions...pathetic huh? I brought home Stargate from Chris house. It was mine, but it's all scratched up since I didn't have a case for it. Hopefully I'll watch it tonight. Chris went to see a lacrosse game in Denver. Yeah, stupid. Nothing new...people are talking downstairs...annoying kinda.

Just checkin' in because I haven't in a while. Finally started to get some work towards me at work. Though, it's almost done, I can't complain. I just saw the new trailer for The Fast and the Furious 2...the cars aren't bad, but I don't know about the storyline...take for granted people are probably going to go see it for the cars anyway, but I don't think a sequel would be good for this movie. Both The Matrix sequels coming out this year are stupid too, I think. I'll probably end up watching it, but don't count on it. The last LOTR movie is what I'm waiting for. I hope Harry Potter burns in fucken hell. I got my license renewed to the new style today. I can't believe they make you pay $15 for this shit. With all the taxes I pay, it should be free. It's windy as hell todya too. Kinda calmed down now, but earlier all these leaves, pebbles and shit were just chippin' away at my car. I found out also that I can't put a different turbo kit on my car since Greddy (the company I like) doesn't yet make a turbo kit for a 96. That sucks. That pretty much leaves me with one choice. FMAX turbos, which, although they're badass and it's the best I can get, is $3800 WITHOUT installation. I'm thinking another grand or something for installation. Darn. Hopefully this weekend is going to be nice to me. My brother called too, which I don't care for much. My phone has been acting up lately and explains the reasons why my phone doesn't get calls sometimes. The phone just turns off sometimes after I close the lid or just turns off automatically. Defective hardware I would think. I just don't want to send it off to get a new one if I'm covered under warranty. I have LOTS of bills due right now...and coming up within the next couple of weeks. Good thing is that I got my W-2s and I will try to do them on Saturday when I get back from gambling. Then I'll just take care of all the big bills then. 5-6 more months until the lease is over and once again, we go finding another place to live. How fun. Classes are fine...everything's fine...laters.

I sort of had a mini nervous breakdown sort of things last night. One of my classes said that the instructor denied access to my class and I was like, what? And it turns out it's probably the WebCT folk at Front Range...and then there's the disastrous credit card bills that I have to pay for in the coming month...it's huge...tax returns, work, school, dealing with other people...it's just too much. Well, WAS too much. I'm all good now. Chris and I are going to see if we can attempt rock climbing near our hills. Fun, fun. Afterwards, I'm going to eat sushi with my Mom since it's her b-day. Happy b-day. Nothing big today...um, exchanged the loud muffler with a MUCH!!!!!!!!! quieter one, but it's still noticable at certain times...it's perfect. Still have the chrome tip too. No charge was given to me. What a great group of folks at Fort Collins Muffler. Hm...that's about it for now. Homework night tonight! And at least I'm not the ones who try to commit suicide after depression and breakdowns, right?

Whoa...I just totally had a deja-vu moment.

Today was a really fun day. It was a nice day too. First we woke up and I had to do some errands. I was thinking, it's such a nice day, that we should go hiking and what not. We ended up going just up to see the "A" sign by our college. It's always quite a hike, but oh well. Before we went, however, I wanted, for reasons no one knows, to get a CamelBak (one of those back pack like things that hold water and you wear it like a back pack...) So I shopped around and bought one for pretty cheap on sale. I'm happy with it. My Mom called, surprisingly, and it was about the gambling that we're going to do next Saturday. We're going to drive up to BlackHawk/Central City and gamble for the day to celebrate my 21st. Should be fun and it would be even more fun if I actually win some money. The truth is, if I win some money, it'll probably go to paying back my Mom and paying off my credit cards. After my old one is paid off, I'm going to cancel it so I only have the Sony one. I would think if I spent it until I was old, I would have a shitload of points. Nothing to do today. Tomorrow we decided to go to Denver to watch the Super Bowl with Laura's family...better than staying here, that's for sure. The WebCT, the way we take online classes at Front Range is experiencing some fucked up things and it apparently won't be taken care of for a few days. Good for me, I guess. I wil probably read computer or something soon. History is one class I'm kinda behind. But yeah, Nothing to do this night. Maybe just hang out inhouse or something. Laura's playing The Sims, as usual and the rest are downstairs. Oh yeah, did I tell you we redid our living room? I like it much better.

I just read the news on Google and an interesting article caught my eye. Kevin Mitnick, probably the most famous hacker ever became completely free yesterday. He was on parole for like 3 years or whatever and during that parole, he couldn't touch a computer or get on the internet at that. Seems like he surfed for a little while when he was freed. I wonder what he's going to do now? School also started yesterday, which though only it's Astronomy, was good. Not many people in the class and also seems like a fun class. Night time labs are going to be a pain to get done. Teacher says that March/April are the worst months to do it, so he advised us to do it asap. I will. The other classes seem fine too. I have to go exchange my Biology book since I got the wrong one and now it's out of stock. Great huh. It's snowing, strangely. It was such a great day yesterday. I checked the doppler radar and even though it's snowing here and it's cloudy, there's no sign of clouds anywhere on the radar...weird. Tomorrow's supposed to be a great day again. Weird weather man. So also I guess on the 1st of February, my Mom and I are going to Blackhawk/Central City to gamble, to celebrate me becoming 21. Woohoo. Next Thursday is the day. I don't think I'll really do anything, but yeah, just to mention. I can almost do everything. lol. There's really nothing to do. Work is calling, but I doubt I'll go today. Just don't feel like it you know? Just checking my checking account I discover I still have $120...I wonder if my Mom ever got the check from under the mat. Hopefully she did. Payday is this Friday. Hopefully I can "squeeze" a few extra hours than what I worked. I should really start working there, but man, there's nothing to do! Seriously, I just go, check e-mail, surf the intranet site for news and that's it. There's nothing. Every once in a while, like 4-5 days I get a small little assignment to do, but that takes mearly 5 minutes and I'm back to doing nothing again. I miss the days when I just started that I had stuff to do. A lot of stuff actually. The hiring of the research associate, aka, my supervisor, took a lot of my projects that I would have gotten away from me. Damn him. But that leaves less work for me, so it's a double-edged sword...(did I use that phrase correctly?) Well, I'm off to eat and probably pick Laura up from the bus stop because it's cold. See ya.

Howdy. Wow, what a spending day today was. Not really, but here's the deal. I went to Niwot today to give my Mom my monthly car payment. She wasn't there so I just left it there. Laura and I came back up and we went to lunch. Afterwards, I was like, well, maybe I'll go to Fort Collins Muffler and look at some mufflers. I go there and ask about some mufflers. I was like, okay, sounds good. I go to two other places...wait, just one other and I end up coming back to the first place. I was like, asking more questions and I finally decided to go for it and get a new muffler for the car. $145 and 40 minutes later, I'm cruising down the street going home in my exhaust. Loud? Yes. Annoying? ...well, maybe when I'm trying to accelerate and trying to listen to music, but that's about it. Cruising at a constant speed is very tolerable. More than I thought. We'll see how it sounds after I take a trip down I-25 around 80-90. Did it increase horsepower? Doubt it. And if so, only about 3-4 max. I didn't even get bigger piping, so. I asked them about emissions and they said that it won't affect it because it's after the catalytic converter. Good news for me. I'll probably call Mike sometime and show him. In the mean time, I have school tomorrow. Yes, the one I have to go to at 9:10...or was it 9? Either way, I am meeting Rod at McDonald's at 8 to have breakfast since he's in my class too. Hopefully the class doesn't suck. I was going to sort out today this week's class schedule and work stuff, but I'll do that tomorrow. I have to work tomorrow for a couple of hours, but to show up, you know? Well, Laura seems to be waiting for me, so I'll be going. TJ is moved into the dorms. Yay. Talk to you laters.

Just came back from Chris' house and seems like his date went good, but they decided to stay friends or whatever...Chris tells me that she said she didn't have enough time for a serious relationship and that boosting his confidence was the only thing he was aiming for, so. Sounds good I guess. Tomorrow I am going to Longmont to give my Mom my car payment for the month. I don't have to go to work thanks to the little ol' darky (you know why I said that, Laura) and his fight for freedom. If you didn't get that, I already mentioned that it's MLK Jr.'s day. Great man, great man. Um, I also borrowed the The Royal Tennenbaums because Laura wanted to see it, and that Grant liked it too. Plus it's the least that I can do for the cool weekend that they gave us. I also bought some roses. It's just weird how people change in front of other people or for other people. Sometimes they're totally tolerable and nice and shit, but then when you combine them with certain others, it just gets out of control. Just a thought to dwell on. Also, I just realized that I have been doing this blog thing for over a year now...about 13-14 months. Incredible. There's a lot of information that's within these pages that I don't want lost. Maybe I'll print them out sometime or something. I just hope blogger.com doesn't go the way of Enron. I guess it's not THAT big of a deal, but it's something that's nice to have. I really wish that I could get back those few weeks that I deleted that I can't seem to get back anymore. If anyone visitor to blogger.com is reading this and knows any way to get "unindexed" pages back to your archives and posted, please e-mail me at jamyam@hotmail.com. I guess I can just do some research on how blogger works, but I don't want to do that work. Still have to get school supplies tomorrow. I think I'll get them at the bookstore at front range so that I don't have to pay for it and just charge it to my financial aid account. While I was there some time ago, I saw some software there that seemed cool. If there was Windows XP or something, I would probably get it. Just that there wasn't. Only Office XP. I really don't need that. Prechecking my classes for this semester, it seems like Biology is going to be my hardest class. Either that or computer networking because 93%+ is an A and I know that people can just slack off and get like a 91% for a B, so. Hard work lies ahead. I'm headed for the bathroom now. Have yourself a good night.

Well, just got back from the surprise weekend. It was really fun. Even though I "knew" that we were staying somewhere, the hotel we stayed in was really nice. We ate at this Mongolian Barbeque place and it was great. Afterwards, we went ice skating, then came back and watched most of Shrek. The next day (today) we went to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science after we ate a little breakfast and then to Cinzetti's for the lunch. It was an all and all great time. Thanks Laura. Then I just find out that Grant, who works at Best Buy, can get a major discount off stuff anything in the store and with that information coinciding with the fact that Laura and I want a camcorder right now, it's very, very, very inticing. We may very well go there later tonight and buy it. If it's near half off...it's going to be only around $250. So, that's no bad at all. They're in the other room playing SIMS, but I really want a camcorder...though, I also want that and a mobile entertainment center. Anyway, I'm going to relax a little. It's been an eventful day...possibly the most since, well, a long while. Tomorrow is MLK Jr. day and it's a day off...so. Maybe a little playing around with the camcorder? lol. See ya.

I set up my desktop with a new style and I seem to like it better. Today some disturbing news from a person I don't necessarily want to associate with found its way into Laura's e-mail inbox. I am quite pissed, but everything's settled. If it happens again, however, I'm really going to snap. And it's not going to be pretty. The batteries in the mouse are good. We'll just see if they really last as long as Rayovac claims them to last. We are going to Mancino's tonight. I haven't ate there in the longest. I am split on deciding a calzone or grinder. I am using my credit card like mad. I need to tone it down. But as long as the tax return (or some of it actually) pays off the old card, I'm in good shape. Tomorrow we leave for the surprise that Susan and Laura has planned for us. It seems as though we will be back on Sunday. I have to cancel the coffee with Chris. We might reschedule, but we may not. Then school starts on Tuesday. Wow, break went by...well, both fast and slow. More fast than slow. I have Monday to look over my classes and get back into school mode again. I have to go buy some supplies too. A notebook and a pencil will do it. Actually, I already have a pencil so I'll just get a one subject notebook. 4.0 is my goal...but more realistically, it's going to be hovering near 3.5. I decided yesterday to take my Mom out for dinner (sushi to be exact) on her b-day. It's the least I can do. TJ is still here. He's moved into his dorm though for the most part for all I know. I finally figured out why I couldn't watch...wait, I might have already posted this information in another blog...I think I have. I'll stop. I have been in the mode to buy something. Seriously. This $1000 limit credit card is not something that I want to have when I have no money and I have a lot of expenses to pay for. Right now I am in the middle of a portable computers (not a laptop), Gamecube, a camcorder (even though I say we don't need that, Laura says it will be a good investment), a dryer, which we really need but in reality I will probably buy it when we move next, and maybe a Gameboy Advance or even a TV for my car. I am just in a dilemma. Anyway, I'm going to search for stuff on eBay. I'll let you know if I buy anything...I will get close to, but I won't really in the end. My conscience is a strong one...

Seems like the blogger is working correctly for a while. I say that because sometimes it doesn't show all the archives and stuff, but anyway. Today we went to Walmart and Laura got me some recharcheable batteries (Rayovac) because I began to think of the usefulness of these babies. Recharges in 1 hour and lasts 3X longer than regular batteries and on top of that, it rechargeable 1000+ times. You can't beat that. I am yet to try it, but I will probably by tonight. TJ is moving into the dorms today. School is starting to come back into session. Yesterday Laura and I went to Best Buy and we saw a couple of camcorders that we would like to have. Not that we NEED it, but it would be just cool. I was looking at the digital 8 kinds. Only about 400-500 dollars. Maybe sometime. Right now, I have to buy Laura's b-day/valentine's present, which is going to set me back, hopefully not so much, before I have to start paying the damn insurance bills again. I am waiting anxiously for my W-2 for tax return purposes. I should get close to $1000 back, which is nice and is also a large sum of money that I wouldn't know what to do with. I probably will pay $500 to the insurance to get a lot of it out of the way, then the rest I have no idea...exhaust?...TV in car?...computer even? I don't know. Maybe I'll save it for a spring break trip. I did, though, find an awesome mini pc online. This thing is a complete working computer and it's fricken small! 2.5" thin, 6.5" wide and like 7" deep...you can get any smaller than that. I was going to get that, but a monitor. Then I can put that in the car and...yeah...I'm dreamin'. Anyway, that's it for this update. Seems like this weekend is going to be the days that Laura and Susan is going to give me and Grant a surprise. We don't know what it is, but the only thing I know is that we're going to be travelling somewhere. Who knows where? I'll report on it whenever we get back. Lates.

Ah, I got more ramen from my Mom. Good thing because I was running low. I was just watching the video of Good Charlotte's "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous". I was closely listening to the lyrics more than watching the video and what they is probably true to some extent. The rich snobs of this world have probably gotten to the point where they wouldn't be able to stand the lifestyles of even a modest living family/lifestyle. Everything probably is handed to them in a bowl and stuff. How pointless their lives must be. I will admit to some degree that they must have gotten there with SOME kind of effort, whether that be practicing to act or learning to play instruments, sing, or just to act like a dumbass on TV. I'm sure there's a reason why everyone can't be like them. They must have some skill for this "talent". But then there are those who become rich and famous through their family, born into a wealthy society, etc. These people I hate. And then I begin to think of the lowest classes of this country. There are people who really live badly. Even I feel ashamed at myself about how I live compared to this folk. I am not rich or anything, but I don't consider myself poor...though sometimes I do and sometimes I really am. I try not to act like it. Even when I have money and I KNOW that spending it is no big deal, I hesitate inside about spending it. Peer pressure plays a big role. I always think how well off I'll be, or not be, in the next 10 years...and what I'll be like presenting myself in front of the same peers that I went to high school with at the reunion...if I'm able to attend, that is. I always wanted to live in a peaceful, happy little town, maybe no more than a few thousand people when I grow up. I watched TV as people walked everywhere, the barber shop, store, sidewalk, and they would know people. I'd like it to be like that for me. That's not for a while, so I have nothing to worry about. I think right now the key is the live as much as I can while I'm in the position I am. College is pretty laid back. You go to classes less than high school, don't have to listent to your parents...well, SOME people don't, and it's a period of time where you experiment and try out new things. Trust me I did! Some things you learn NOT to do again, some things you WANT to do again, and some things you just CAN'T do again. With that said, I like the life that I've lived. I don't think I've held myself back much. Granted there are times here and there that I wish I would have done different, but heck, everyone has that, you know. I don't care. Time goes on. There's bound to be a chance like that again. And then again, what if that one chance you got was just that, one chance? Then that sucks for you. :) I just want to be able to look back at my life and say, wow, I did a lot of things in my lifetime and I loved every minute of it. That's really my goal. I don't care if I become super rich or super famous. I don't even give a damn if I get a good job or education. Some will agree with me and some will not. If I won the lottery, I wouldn't know what to do really. I tell people that I would get a car, house, and all the stuff that I've always wanted. Truth is, I probably wouldn't get a new car until I really needed it. I wouldn't get a house until I really needed. Would I quit working and going to college if I was set for life? Probably not. Doing these things is what life is. Take that away and all you do is just live and not experience anything. I read somewhere if people would rather choose to die among their friends happily at 30 or die lonely at 85...I put my money everytime that they'll choose the first choice. No one wants to be lonely. Even if I live to be 300 or 3000, I wouldn't, I would choose to die earlier with my friends. Sometimes I'm too hard on my friends, I know, especially Laura. I don't know how she handles me! I love her for it though. Well...nothing much else to say. Tonight felt good to talk about this. Life isn't always about money, though it painfully is and it controls every aspect of how we live. The thing you have to make sure is don't let money control you...or else bad things happen...and most of the trouble will stem from the IRS. :) Land of the freedom my ass.

Before I start playing Starcraft and then calling Laura, I'd like to get in a few rants. First, I got my eye lids back, paid $95 and I think they've done a great job. The paint closely matches that of the car and that's what I was most worried about. Putting it on is the next step and I don't know how I'm going to accomplish that. I am going to go buy some sticky tape...VERY strong sticky tape and figure out a way so that the lids go go flying...$95 isn't worth it to just throw away. Second, I realize sometimes things happen not because it just happens, but because the event happens hoping to create a cause. Just a thought. I'm going to go downstairs and make sure my eye lids are drying and curing nicely, and then it's off to play some starcraft. Other than that, have a good night...I'm picking Laura up tomorrow from Denver. 1 day earlier than scheduled. Also, I checked on Ben's monitor and looks like UPS tried to deliver it today, but, yes, you guessed it, Ben would have gotten it if he was awake. Actually, I think he WAS awake, but I don't know. His loss I suppose. See ya!

I just spend money left and right! Well, I went to the body shop and just came back and I left the eyelids there and they said it would be ready by tomorrow around 5pm. Then I'd had to wait another day or so for the paint to fully cure, and then I can install it. Hopefully it will install correctly and not look all ghetto. The lids came with some 3M double-sided tape, but I'm going to go buy more because I don't want them flying off when I'm on the highway, you know? I'll make sure to get that thing on there good. Well, off to calculate my budget for the next two weeks since I get paid tomorrow and this paint job is going to cost around $100...damn, but I have to start thinking of presents for Laura and man, I'm going to be broke for the next month.

Stupid me...I can't believe I did this. I checked my own blog to make sure my posts were showing up correctly and when I did, I couldn't find the long one that I just wrote...so I was like, ok, must be blogger.com, so I refreshed and refreshed and finally restarted the computer to completely flush out my internet cache and still no luck...only to find out that I changed the post settings so that the latest ones go on the BOTTOM and not the top, like I was used to it doing...so I just promptly changed it. Better now...dumb me...god damn.

Howdy all. It's another edition of James' late night rants and babbles. I just received my "eye lids" for my car from Chris. They seem to be just fine. Gotta take them to the body shop and have them paint it now. Hopefully they won't charge me an arm and a leg for them! I am thinking the painting is going to cost around $50...maybe more, maybe less. Hopefully less if I tell them I'll be here for the body kit (which will probably not happen) and the fact that I've gone there already and I'm a repeat customer. Hopefully!!!!! So, well, another day passes. Already a week into the new year. Suzanne messaged me today. The first time in maybe a year or something. She got a new e-mail address and stuff. Nothing new I guess. Laura is coming tomorrow and she wants me to be asleep for when she gets here. I have to kill some time since I usually wake up around 7-8 automatically. But yeah, I've been feeling better lately about everything and my outlook for this year. It seems like I'm finally on the right track you know? I remember last year around this time, I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I wasn't doing well in school at all...it was the semester that I needed to do really good, and I eventually gave up around March or something. Pathetic yeah. I wasn't motivated at all and during the last few months, I've figured stuff out, you know and realized that I can't keep doing what I was doing (this was around the beginning of last summer). I knew I could do what I did last semester...just wasn't motivated and now I have what I need. Sometimes you need something to hit you hard, you know? Hitting the bottom academic-wise was the cure for me. I was just playing Rod in chess and I kicked his ass. I think he got mad because he was talking to me through the game and for some reason I couldn't answer back, so he probably thought I was ignoring him. Anywhoo, I'm about pooped out for tonight. Hopefully I'll wake up later than when Laura gets here...but I also want to check the body shop for the price of painting the eye lids. I don't want to do that because that'll have to be in the morning...but then again I guess I can head over there in the afternoon after Laura leaves. I'll do that. Maybe they'll be done by this weekend or something. That would be cool. I am eager to see it in action. We put it on for a test run tonight, but when I turn the headlights on, since it's not painted, the light shines through. I hope the painting of the lids block out the light trying to escape. Also, tomorrow will be a fun in more than one way!!! :) Oh man, funny, funny...

Okay, everytime I try to buy sometime on the down low, or, better explanation would be, not so extravagantly, I go crazy and get stuff that I know won't use. Anyway, there was a Primus stove on sale, so I got that. I bought a few fuel bottles to keep me stocked up. I should have stopped there, but I got some storm proof matches, fire starters and a heating pad...??? Oh well. $50 altogether that I could have just saved and bought something else with. Damn me. Well, the good news is that together with the new sleeping bag that Laura got me and her new tent, I want to go camping quite bad, even though it may be kinda cold up there. Ah, the joys of being me. I'm off to watch a movie now. Laters.

Okay, so my MSN is all back to normal. Found a new chat logger like I had a while back. I'm just surfing around right now. I think I am actually going to buy a gas stove for camping. I want to go soon. I am looking at them right now...I'll be back if I purchase! Hm...there's a good one that's on sale for 37% off...I'll be back. I'm deciding now...um, yeah, I'll be back to write in here.

Today's not a good day. I thought something was wrong with my MSN, so I uninstalled my 5.0 and installed 4.6...that didn't work and I find out the problem is on Microsoft's side. So I reinstall 5.0 again, but I can't get the polygamy patch to work and now there are ads back on my MSN again...fuckin eh.

Well yesterday it was a surprise that I got to see Laura. I wasn't planning on it but people went to Ocean Journey and I decided to go to. I think they wanted me to go because someone needed to drive back from Denver. Anyway, my MSN doesn't work worth shit right now. Something's wrong and the status of the network (MSN's) says it's operational. God damn it. I skipped work today and it'll be a half day tomorrow. There's a 50/50 chance I get my braces off tomorrow, but considering there is still a little gap in this one place, I doubt it would get taken off. I just paid for Ben's LCD monitor. That may be confusing. He gave me his credit card number and I paid for him. He should have his computer all received and ready to go by next week, if not late this week, like Saturday. Laura is going to try to come up on Thursday. Hopefully I can ditch work again. :) I have to go to CSU today to check to see if my timesheet has to be in early or not. I went yesterday, but the damn building was closed. Ashley is making something downstairs...smells sorta over cooked? Anyway, I'm gonna get dressed and head there now. My MSN better work by then. My finger is close to healed. I can put pressure on it again, but I can't put pressure against the fingernail...it kinda hurts. So, one more day, or I can start using my finger so it heals faster. Ashley just left. Weird. Um, yeah, have a good day.