Oh, and One More Thing

The night before I was to leave for Salina (I was going to spend the night there and then complete the road trip the day after), I had made a reservation at the Baymont Inn there there by Braum's. We always stay there, so I figured why not. Of course, the next day I decide that I'm not going, so I figured the reservation was toast since the full refund cancellation time was Thursday at midnight.

Well, the next night, Laura had called Baymont to see if they could refund due to the ice storm. The lady was apparently nice enough to so Laura called Orbitz to do the refund since I booked it through there. I wouldn't have been able to do it. That's why I love her!

Disappointment

I'll preface this saying it was a good decision, but I decided against going to Colorado this weekend because, of course, out of ALL the fricken days in the last year, there had to be a HUGE ice storm coming through all the states that I was going to be driving through this weekend. I would have made it out fine, I think, but the problem would have been on the way home. The first round of ice came like Thursday night and Friday morning. The second round was to come Sunday night and Monday morning, which would have been the one to mess me up. However, after watching the news here and there, it looks like Kansas is already getting hit hard, so, overall, I think it was just safer for me to stay here.

Still, it sucks that I didn't get to go as this was going to be my break from the kids, but Laura has been watching the kids a lot the last two days, so it's helpful. The thing is, I woke up today all cold and my skin being very sensitive, which usually happens before I get a cold. ANOTHER COLD. We have been sick since pretty much Thanksgiving and I am tired of being sick. Now that one of us is sick, it won't be long before everyone is sick again and the cycle will continue. I have been coughing since Thanksgiving, too. I hate being sick.

It rained a good amount in the last couple of hours, which I assume is going to turn into some ice overnight. However, perhaps the ice that was there, which wasn't much, melted...probably not. I haven't looked outside in a while.

I should go to sleep. My neck aches. I feel sorry for the kids that they can't leave the house or play outside. This is when being rich, having a huge house, and having nannies help...I better finish my book...

Freedom

2017 is well on its way and even only in the 9 days since the last blog, so much has happened and/or will happen.

First, our first snow! And it snowed quite a bit. About 3" I think, but it's been 3 days now and it's almost all melted. It's like spring weather now. 50s and 60s before it drops down again for a little bit in a few days. The kids loved it, but I was cold. Now it's just going to get hot or something. I just want to be in perfect weather.

Second, Connor started school again and, this time, Emmeline as well! She had a lot of fun from what I could tell and she didn't have any issues with me leaving her. Connor didn't either the first day but broke down the next few times, so we'll see how she does the second day, which is tomorrow. However, I don't think she'll have that problem being the second child. Connor started his first full day this morning and he didn't take it very well in the beginning. I had to keep scooting back because he wanted to be behind me and stuff. Of course, his usual teacher is gone for a couple of days so the other teacher was substituting at the front door, whom he doesn't really like, but finally after some coercing, he went with an aid to put back some toys that Emmeline brought back on her first day. Of course, usual Connor, at pick up he was all smiles and was happy about his extended day. I'm hoping that he will just be happy to go on Wednesday and not do the stuff in the morning that he did.

That sort of brings me to the amount of free time that I'm now going to have sort of spread out throughout the week. MWF, I'm just going to have Emmeline until I pick him up. That's at 3pm. While she's sleeping, I am totally free and can work on some writing that I need to finish up my first book, which is one of my personal goals. I'm not sure what I'm trying to achieve with this project...in my mind I'm thinking it will be super popular and use the sales on Amazon to pay for our Disneyworld, but the reality is that I'll get some bad reviews and my pride will be hurt...we'll see, though. On T/TR, I have about 2 hours all to myself. The first day, I went to the library to write. I think I should use that time more productively, though.

Third, I'm planning on driving out to Colorado for a few days this Friday to get a little break for myself and pick up some stuff from Chris. I'm driving because I don't like flying, but also because I wouldn't really be able to bring back the computer(s) that I'm going to get from him. Either way, I like driving and it will be a nice "meditation"...or something. I might get a book on CD or something from the library. I wish I could have my laptop on and use voice recognition to work on my book while I'm driving, but that's probably not going to work. Laura is worried because the roads might get bad, but I don't think there's anything to worry about. I got the oil changed on her car, too. I need to get the suv's oil changed plus there's a slight leak coming out of it. The other interesting thing that I'm going to try is to get some dry ice to bring some Braum's to the McGuires. I'm planning on buying it at Salina and then putting it in a cooler and getting it there around noon the next day. It should keep quite chilly until then. Although, I need to work out the logistics a little more because I think I'm going to break the drive into 2 days. Thursday night will be the 3.5 hour drive to Salina. But the Braum's there and then take it next day...oh, I guess that's the logistics. I'll get the dry ice on the way out of town, I guess.

Anywho, I should get going. I'll still in my super unmotivated mode...not sure why. I was going to do some bills and stuff, but I ended up playing this stupid, but fun, Overwatch game.

The First of Many More...

Wow, okay. I either a) don't really like to blog anymore or b) I just suck at blogging...let's hope it's not either and it's just because that at the end of the day after watching the kids, I'm just so unmotivated that I don't want to do anything. However, that doesn't explain the fact that I waste away the night usually playing games and surfing on the computer. To my defense, being on the computer is a very non-physical, non-tiring activity. Perhaps that's why I end up doing that.

Anyway, let's recap up to July...I didn't even talk about the Galveston trip.

Well, overall, I think it went pretty well. We rented an AirBNB type house right near the beach and there were plenty of rooms for everyone and then some. Jordan ended up sleeping with Chris and Alicia even though there were two extra rooms. Connor and Emmeline slept in the two rooms in the "attic" area that was finished. All in all, everything worked out. It was hot, but we went to the beach a couple of times. One was the closer one where you just drove up. The other was a state park, so there were less people there. That one was better. I mostly watched Emmeline while Laura and Connor would go a little ways into the breaking waves. The kids had fun. Chris mostly walked up and down the shore while Alicia watched. We ate at a few cool places including the Rainforest Cafe that that kids loved. I can't remember if I've ever been there before. I must have, because it felt familiar. Anyway, we didn't do the ride that was there, but walked around the gift shop and then got Connor a frog cup during dinner. We also went to the old downtown, where we ate at an ice cream shop. That was fun. We then picked up dinner to eat at home. That, however, was the worst idea because Chris wanted to walk instead of move our cars again and it was fricken hot. We sweat so much walking there and carrying our food back. Afterwards, Chris and I got ice cream, though that might have been a different night. The drive back was the most hilarious time we've had in a while. He was holding all the ice cream and cups while I drove and it was just dripping everywhere. Not sure what was funny, but we were just laughing at the ridiculous situation. The drive there and back were good, but tiring for the kids. It was only like 4.5 hours or something, but it was tough for them as they ran out of things to do like an hour in and they would not sleep in the car. It was fun, though, and hopefully we can make a yearly tradition out of it.

What next. Then it was Connor's preschool starting, I guess. He was getting a new teacher, new class, new classmates, everything. He was very nervous, but he eased into it pretty easily. He loves his teacher now. The only problem, however, has been getting him to go potty at school. Finally, he managed to do it with Laura's help at first, but then a few more times by himself. Rewards helped a lot. Anywho, starting next week, he's transitioning to full days two days a week, so that's why we were in a rush to get this issue resolved.

Then things finally settled down a bit, but we were heading into the busy holiday season, which I love, but I get super tired and Halloween makes me nervous, as does other social events that come with it. Luckily, my Mom was out visiting during Halloween so I didn't have to answer the door for that. We went to some neighborhood event or picnic, actually, I can't remember if I went or what it was, but I was just uncomfortable. We went walking with the kids for Halloween and they got treats, though Emmeline just stayed in the stroller most of the time. Even that got me nervous to just stand out on the sidewalk. Dunno what it is.

Then we had our huge Thanksgiving gathering that included Laura's family, Kelly's family, Ellen, Matt, AND my sister's family, so we had like 20+ people and a couple of people that we've never really met. However, Laura pulled it off, though. The big decision was to move all the tables that we need for dinner out into the back yard for more room. I'm not sure that we'll do that again, but it was a success. I didn't do much for it, either. I feel bad.

Then right after that we went over to Tulsa or something to put up the Christmas tree plus Ellen and Matt were staying there. It just gets me so tired when we go there because we usually have to sleep with Emmeline in the room and the kids just don't sleep or nap at all. Anyway, I don't really remember what else we did. Stockings or presents maybe?

Oh...and it's 2017 now...sheesh. I should get to sleep.

Then, the last thing that happened was Christmas just now. This year has been weird, though, because Laura's grandparents have been ill, so they didn't come out for Thanksgiving or Christmas or anything. Laura's other grandpa didn't show himself much either because he's having some problems. To top it off, EVERY ONE of the kids and respective parents caught some kind of cold or something and we've been sick since a couple of weeks before actual Christmas. We STILL have it. We seem to be on the tail end of it all, but I'm still coughing a lot.

My Mom came out a couple of days ago to celebrate the New Year feast that Laura likes to put together. I really am proud of her for doing all these things while sick AND watching the kids. I've sort of been in the background doing nothing. I really feel bad, but it just that when she's home, the kids want to be with her, so I just seem to always end up yelling at them because they're not listening. I don't know. that is one of the things that I need to work on more this year. Patience, and staying off my computer more.

There are a few things that I want to set as goals for this year and I'm already behind on them. I want to possibly look into expanding my cranes on Amazon. Oh, that's one thing that I should mention. They've been selling GREAT over the last few months leading up to the holidays. Enough that I've broke even AND turned a profit of probably a hundred or two dollars now. That's why I sort of want to get into it more. The issue is my motivation and time, really. The other thing was to get this book fricken done because I've decided that I want to publish it on Amazon myself and see what kind of sales I can get. I really think that I have a good story, but, of course, that's just me talking. I need to get the first book done and have Laura read it. I've decided to make it episodic and not a huge novel, selling each book/episode on Amazon for .99 cents or even free to see what the audience, if any, thinks. I read that publishing on Amazon is mostly marketing and luck, and I don't doubt that, but hopefully, I'll get 1 sale...The last thing that I want to do is to work on our family's relationships. I need to stop fighting with Connor more, less yelling and getting frustrated so quickly, and spend more time with Laura. The good news is that because of an awesome find that I purchased at Goodwill for 2.99 and subsequently sold on eBay that night for $129, with a profit of $100, I was able to get us a good condition Xbox 360 to play a Tales game that's been hailed as one of the best in the series. Then, I happened to find a King's Quest re-telling for Laura that I gave for Christmas that hopefully she enjoys. Oh, and I want to get into more woodworking as well. Working on house projects is also on the list. Perhaps get a van...who knows, man.

Well, I should really get going. I also need to decide in a couple of weeks if I should go to Colorado or not. I'm planning on it if it doesn't snow a lot because I don't want to get snowed in on that side of the country, but we'll see. I'm really just going to take a break and picking up a computer or two from Chris.

Okay, I'm really done now...I will PROMISE to be more timely with my blogs. A handful a year like last year is just unacceptable. I'll also have titles, too!

Figured I'd get a quick sentence or two in while the kids are watching TV.

So, it's almost the end of November. A lot has happened since like 2 blogs ago and I really need to summarize it all, but I have a feeling that it's just going to end up in the year-end summary. The last couple of months have been rough for all of us I think because of all the events that's been going on and it may just be stressful through to the end of the year.

I've just had zero motivation (once again) to do anything. I was telling myself that at the end of November, I was going to publish the first part of my second book, but that, of course, didn't happen. I hardly got anything written as a matter of fact. I GOT to do it by the 1st of next year. I need a nice, clean date as a starting point or it will just bug me to no end. My goal is still to pay for the Disneyworld trip with these sales...that's shooting for the stars, though. On a similar note, however, I'm actually only like $40 away from breaking even on my crane gift venture on Amazon. Sales have been trickling, but steady. The other day I had a HUGE 22-crane order which helped a lot. Not sure why someone would need 22 cranes, but that's okay by me! I am regretting not using an automated feedback/review solicitation service since I started because I still have no reviews, but at the same time, I dread getting a bad review.

Anyway. The show is about to finish. I bought a new TV yesterday on a whim because it was a TV that I was eyeing for a long time and it was the lowest price I've seen (and probably the lowest it would get) since it was Cyber Monday. We didn't really need it, but, I don't know. I feel better about it after sleeping on it. I was contemplating returning it last night, but not so much now. We'll see how I feel in a couple of more days.

The main reason was to move the bigger TV into our bedroom and play a new Tales game that I got for the Xbox 360 (yes, bought that, too, but it was a break even deal; will explain later). Laura thought that the bigger TV might affect her sleeping at night, but we tested it out last night and I actually didn't think it was any brighter than our 32", surprisingly. I chose a brightness setting that changes automatically depending on the room's lighting conditions and it made it quite dark, but viewable. I'll ask her about it tonight.

Ok, I'm out for now.

2 blog posts in 8 months. That sucks. And this one doesn't even really count as a post. This weekend is going to be a rough one as we're going to Tulsa for Labor day weekend, but I'm going to take my laptop and try to get a good post in. Lots to talk about.

I should get to sleep...

January 24th was my last blog? Wow. I didn't think it was that long ago, for real.

Anyway, I'm here, trying to make up for it. Laura graciously took the kids to her parents house for the 4th of July weekend. The last few weeks have been very rough for me, more than usual. I think it has to do with school finishing for Connor, so he's home all day and is bored, Emmeline starting to do more and more things on her own, Connor starting swimming lessons a few times a week, which just went horribly. He had some good days, but each day was a chore for me to try and get him to go IN the water to begin with. He did great the second day, was nervous and didn't go in the 2nd day. The third day I think Laura came to encourage him and he did it while she watched. I think that sort of set the precedent of me having to stand near him the entire lesson, even though it's only 30 minutes long. All this time, Kelly would have to watch Emmeline, because I can't do both nor am I going to hold her for 30 minutes. The weather started to get hotter and hotter and standing out there with no shade was just awful. I didn't even want to do this swimming thing after that. Then after the first session, the teacher switched and of course Connor did not like that. It took a couple of days for him to get used to that. Then there were no lessons for like 3 days because the pool place couldn't get their shit together. Anyway, I think he would do a lot better doing private lessons, whether it'd be here or at Laura's parents house.

On top of that, the last couple of weeks Connor has been having very explosive fits, always trying to scratch me and kick me. I have to hold him so he won't scratch me, but he doesn't want to be held. Catch 22. My arms are currently messed up. He bit me twice today. I just needed a break from them. It just sucks not having a break from week to week. More so meaning times that I don't see them. I hope I can unwind this weekend, but I just know that once they come back, things are just going to be the same. I dunno how to fix it. School will help, for sure. They just need to be entertained more. I know that I need to work on playing with them more during the day, but I just get so tired by 10am that I end up letting them watch TV to take a break. I do take them places, but he's starting to get troublesome a bit at that.

Next week is preparation week for our trip to Galveston. I hope it goes well. Chris and Alicia are coming too. They're flying in. We had tried to think of a lot of places that would suit us, but in the end, we chose the beach since both sides seemed to favor that. We were going to head to the mountains, but that just wouldn't seem like a vacation for them. We thought about Oregon, but that would have been an expensive and stressful trip just to get there. Galveston is about 8-9 hours away for us, so we'll be driving, but I'm not sure how much better that will be vs. driving.

I think we have some dentist appointments this month for all of us except Emmeline. Hopefully, Connor doesn't freak out again like last time. he was just nervous last time, but we'll see. I just hate how everything we do involves his either acting up or being nervous.

For Laura's Mother's Day gift, I gave her a Fitbit which she uses all the time now and another small gift of me reading any book within a month that she chooses for me. She ended up choosing The Name of the Wind. I read it in about 2 weeks. It was pretty good, but there were some parts that I didn't care for. It wasn't as great as everyone has been telling me, though. I dunno if they overhyped me or what. After reading it, however, I'm starting to have another motivational boost to get my 2nd book started and finished. I'm thinking about using this weekend to get a huge jump on it. I planned to head to the library all day tomorrow and get a lot of it done, but we'll see about that. What I really should do is just sleep all day to get well rested. I mean, WELL rested. I haven't been refreshed in months. I sleep a good amount each night, but I just wake up tired. I keep blaming it on mono or something. I've been taking a multivitamin every day for a few months now, but I'm not sure if it's doing anything for me. I don't necessarily feel "better."

Anyway, other than the everyday stuff that's breaking my brain, everything else is pretty unchanged. We need to start on some housework I think, but we need to decide on what. Laura wants to start doing the backyard. That's fine with me. I don't really have anything to work on inside the house. I just feel energy-wise, I'm barely getting by each day. I need to change that to change my attitude everyday. I know I'm a big part of everyone's moods but it's just hard for me to change. I do try, but then Connor or Emmeline does something really stupid and I just revert back. We just need to win the megamillions that's like 400 million again and hire a nanny.

Missed a week...but, nothing new. Still doing my old routine...I just can't seem to break out of it and start writing my book. Ugh. Dunno what's wrong with me! It's already almost the end of January and I've got nothing done. I take that back. I got the table top materials of our kitchen table bought and stacked up in the garage. I need to start that soon. It's just been a little cold to work out in the garage. This week will be much warmer, however, I woke up today with a horrible cold - well, cold symptoms, I guess. My throat HURT for an hour or so this morning. It seemed okay during the day, but now it's sort of worse and I know it's going to be horrible tomorrow morning. So, we'll see how this week goes. When I get a cold, I just feel like doing nothing and irritated. It's just bad.

This weekend, though, Laura is giving me/us a weekend away from the kids - not far away, just near Lawton, but staying at a cabin or something via a coworker's friend. It should be fun. There's a small-ish "mountain" nearby that I want to see if I can get some good sunset shots. It's supposed to rain a little, but otherwise a nice, warm weekend. I hope my cold is gone by then.

Emmeline and Connor both have had horrible nights the last couple of days. They're just so tired and can't breathe and stuff. Tomorrow's going to be a fun day...he has school and then a dentist's appointment at 2pm I think, so Emmeline will have had a shitty nap and he'll probably be tired and sick...ugh. I hope he's in a good mood. Nervous about it. I should probably be more worried about Emmeline, actually. He actually pulls through at times like these.

Anyway, back to...procrastinating...

So, here I am, sitting in front of the computer at 11:06pm on Saturday. Since my tentative resolutions were written down, I don't think I've accomplished much. A few days ago, I upgraded my computer with all the parts after going through some frustrating processes, but it seems like it's all working well. I had to reinstall a few programs because there was a problem logging in to my old Windows operating system after upgrading the motherboard. Apparently, you have to do a full re-install or something. I tried to do a fix, but that didn't work. Luckily, I didn't lose anything, per se. My documents are still here, but a lot of the programs that I had aren't on here, albeit I never really used all of them anyway. At any rate, most or all of my essentials are set up. So, unless something happens with the hardware, I think I'm ready to go.

I have to point out, blogging more frequently has been on my mind, so that's good. It's only been, what 8 days or something? I did get a new board game to play with Laura that I've been wanting to get for a long time. It's called Ticket to Ride. It was fun, but I think that more people would make it more fun.

I think this month's project, however, is to get the kitchen table done. That's my goal. We've been needing a bigger table for a while now and I think it's just time to do it. It'll probably take a few weekends and week nights, but I think it's possible. There aren't any hard parts, but just time consuming and making sure that I don't mess up the cuts. Although, after checking the plans just now, it doesn't look like I NEED to make it a fancy interlocking style that I was thinking about, but just some bolts. I my opt for that. That would cut down build time by a lot. I'll keep updated on that.

Okay, I think I should get going. But really, It's hard to even start making these changes. The last few nights, I've been doing the same, mostly because I've been trying to test out my new computer for stability. I just restarted a few moments ago and it was doing something weird booting up, like stalling at the very beginning, the Windows logo not showing up for a while...it was freaking me out. I was already freaked out when I couldn't load my old hard drive, but I managed to get through that. I stayed up until 2:30 in the morning to get that one to work.

Anyway, be back soon.

Last Blog of 2015

Well, the day has come. Oh, shit, it's 12:01am, haha. I was just playing a new game I found on Steam and, well, I just get hooked on it. Anyway, happy new year.

2016, hopefully, is going to be a year of changes. I want to set personal goals and meet them each month. I want to write it all down in a timeline or something and keep track of them, so we'll see how it goes.

2015, although right now didn't seem eventful, was very eventful, to say the least. Laura and I were talking about it a little bit and she was right that 2015 was actually a pretty big year. We bought a house, moved, took a trip to Colorado for Ellen's wedding, and a slew of other smaller things like Wesley sleeping over with Connor, them sleeping in the same room without much trouble during the holidays...all the while Emmeline was not even 1 and turning 1 on November. To me, each day has been pretty rough, so for some reason it's hard to see the big picture for some reason. I forget about everything these days. It's getting harder and harder to store my experiences into memory, if that makes sense. I know I've been trying to go through month by month in past years, but I really can't remember that far back and that specific anymore, haha. Like, January 2015? I have no clue. I don't even remember off hand what I did for my birthday. Even doing it by quarter-years, I'd have a tough time. So, I trust Laura to remember the things we did and make me realize that we did accomplish a lot even though I don't think we did.

This Christmas was a crazy one because Matt and Ellen came this year AND we had Emmeline. It was very stressful, but we made it. I got some really good gifts, too. I'm actually getting one of the gifts that I ordered myself using a gift card on Saturday - a video card for my computer. I haven't upgraded my computer in 7 years, so I thought, maybe since I have some projects this year that I want to do, an upgraded computer would be nice. The video card was the first step and, coincidentally, would let me play some games that I might get into this year. I have the rest of my PC parts on the "to order" list right now. It's not much more, like $220 worth, which $170 would be covered by the rest of my gift card, so out of pocket would be a low $50 for a computer upgrade that I will probably make last again for at least a few years.

So, 2016 plans. Here's a rough breakdown. I'm not sure when I'll want to put these on the calendar for deadlines and such:

• Spend less time on the computer during the night
• Play a board game or spend time with Laura more during the week
• Projects with Connor (perhaps to upload to YouTube for extra income?)
• Meditate before going to bed with Laura
• Finish house projects
• Kitchen table
• Backyard stuff like Connor's swing, maybe a bigger playhouse/treehouse similar to what I saw in Sam's Club today, gardening stuff, landscaping, etc.
• Finish my fantasy book (perhaps make some money off of it somehow)
• I need to set a deadline for each chapter, set of pages, whatever. I just need to write and no more dicking around on the computer at nights.
• If I wrote an hour, hell, 30 minutes per night, I would get so much done. I have a lot of what I want to write in my head, I just get sucked into surfing EVERY time.
• Work more on my photography that I've strayed away from the last couple of years. 
• Take time to get out somewhere and take pictures. A couple of times this past year, I said I would, but never did.
• Stop procrastinating
• Have more patience with Connor and Emmeline
• Save more money in savings
• Pay extra payments on mortgage
• Take a vacation somewhere
• Be nicer to Laura
• Help out more in the mornings
• Blog more consistently - At least once a week, more if needed.

Well, that's a start. I'm not sure how I will organize all this, but this is just what came to my mind right now. I should get to bed because tomorrow is going to be a festive party with food that Laura's making and sushi and stuff. I'm going to be tired. Okay, I was just surfing for a couple of minutes...no more procrastinating...

P.S. I guess this just became the first blog of 2016!

December 20th. 5 days until Christmas and 12 days until the New Year.

Every year it seems like the year was a "waste." Now, I know it's not, really, but it just feels that way for one reason or another. I think the biggest reason is that I don't feel like I accomplished anything. Sure, I managed to live another year and raise the kids up another year, etc., but I didn't personally accomplish anything, I guess.

For example, I've been wanting to write this second fantasy book for the entirety of 2015. I've managed to write most of the background of the story (within the first few months) and about 10 pages of the actual story, but since then, I've had no motivation to write it. Don't get me wrong, I really want to write it and I know a lot of what I'm going to be writing about, but I just don't have the motivation. I dunno why.

Perhaps it's because I'm tired. This is probably true most of the time. Perhaps it's because I don't have time? Can't be true because I somehow manage to surf away an hour or two each and every night. Perhaps I have too many projects that I want to get done? Kind of true as lately I've been wanting to get housework done like garage shelves, etc. Still not a good excuse because I don't end up doing those projects in my spare time anyway. I think the biggest reason, and I hate to admit this, is what Laura is always saying - my need to get on the computer to...well, do whatever involves the computer. And this year, it's basically been to surf Reddit and other time-wasting things. During this time, I get nothing done. Literally, I may learn a thing or two, but in the end, I come out with nothing gained. I think I need to change this next year. It's going to be hard, but in the next few days, I'll have to come up with a way to dial down my surfing and up my productivity on various things. I mean, even I think to myself some nights, what if I had been working on my book for the same amount of time I wasted, say, in a week of worthless surfing? It'd be nearly 10-14 hours or more of writing down. Instead, I get NOTHING done. Even as I write this, I'm tabbing over to Reddit, reading something, coming back, writing something, repeat. I dunno why I am so easily distractible when it comes to surfing around useless information. The thing is, it sucks because I'm writing my story on Google Docs, which requires me to be online, which means that I can easily just surf something instead. Maybe I need to start writing in Word. I'll have to consider that.

I think next year, I really want to make a plan of cutting down surfing, making a list of things I want to accomplish and then working towards doing it. Everytime I start to do a project, literally every time before I start, I'm already thinking of things to do to NOT do the project.

There are a lot of things I want to do next year, too. Some off the top of my head, not in any particular order:

• Starting geocaching or doing science projects with Connor and uploading them to YouTube for some income
• Kitchen table
• Write and FINISH my book
• Start meditating at night with Laura
• Spend more time with Laura - maybe a designated game night once a week
• Do some other meaningful projects...

I may need to sit down and detail out plans and timelines that I should stick to in early January.

Also, I really think that we should get a babysitter for Fridays or something so that Laura and I can get some time alone with the kids out of the house. I think it's worth it for the $20 or so to cover for the babysitter, especially now that Emmeline is, for the most part, sleeping fine after we put her down for the night. There is the occasional crying that won't let down, but I think the babysitter could handle that . At the worst, she can just text us or something. Emmeline will usually stop crying after 30 minutes and since it's at night, she would probably fall back asleep faster than during the day.

Anyway, I should probably get to sleep. For some reason, it's feeling like it's a Saturday, hence me staying up writing thing when I should be sleeping because there is no school this week and that means tomorrow is going to be rough. Thankfully, Laura is taking a half day on Tuesday and then we're off to Tulsa on Wednesday. Tulsa, by the way, is going to suck I think because it's going to be so crowded and Emmeline and Connor are always a problem there for some reason. Since it's not here, it's just harder for me to deal with them and keep an eye on them because of all the places they can go and do. Ellen and Matt are coming this year, so that will be fun and we might try and go see the new Star Wars movie as well. I'm not a Star Wars fan, but it would be fun to watch. Next year is a good year for movies, as well. Some new Marvels movies and such.

Whelp, I should go so I can finish up surfing (ugh! see!) and then head to bed.

So, I'm sitting here at my computer, listening to Emmeline cry. It's been about 10-15 minutes. I dunno if I should go in there and give her a paci or just wait a little bit longer to see if she calms back down. Lately, I'm like, well, she needs to figure it out herself. I don't get how she can't just go back to sleep, but that's what being a baby is, I guess. Sometimes I would really like to know why the hell she wakes up at 10pm and cries. She's just sitting in her crib right now. I know if I go in there, I will just be rude, put a paci in her mouth, lay her down, and leave. I just don't feel like rocking her back to sleep. That's probably the thing to do, but, I dunno. I just don't have the motivation to do it.

Well, I just went in there and did what I just wrote. She's still crying. I don't know why. She's sitting up again. Why. I don't know. It's like, just get a paci and lay back down. She does it like every other night. It's getting old. I don't remember Connor doing this, but maybe my memory is bad.

I don't know if it's because there are two of them now, but during the day, she is just really trying to get on my nerves or something. She just walks around finding things that she's not supposed to have, etc. I can't watch her while I'm dealing with Connor, and she knows it, too. I know Laura is right that I'm constantly trying to get on my computer to get a "break", so to speak. I try to get Connor doing something and while Emmeline is occupied with something, I just automatically sit at my desk. Sometimes I don't even notice that I'm back at the computer. I know I just need to turn off the computer or something during the day, but having been used to doing it for years and years, it's just hard. Because of this, I'm just constantly picking Emmeline up and "resetting" her by putting her in the living room, where she then just walks off again, only to repeat the process. Part of it is me being too picky about what she does, but, really, to me, everything she's doing is something that I think she shouldn't be doing. Maybe I need to let up, but then I know that right when I do, something bad will happen or that I'll just be spending more time later cleaning up the result.

She's still just sitting there. I don't know what the fuck she's doing! She's only crying here and there. The rest of the time she's just sitting in the dark. I can't tell exactly what she's doing since the crib is in the way. I should really move it to somewhere where the camera can see the entire crib unobstructed.

I really can't say enough about Laura getting up during the night if she cries, getting up every morning to get them up and take care of them, taking care of them after she gets home, etc. She works so hard. And I know that I don't tell her that I really appreciate what she does. I wouldn't survive, literally, if she wasn't here. I don't know what I'd do. I would go crazy. I'm already at max tolerance with them like halfway through the day. Each day I'm like, okay, today, I'll try and be patient and nice with them, but that pretty much goes out the window every time when Connor gets bored and starts to bother her or starts doing things to, I think, get my attention. I do try to do things with them, but I'm just so tired. No matter how much I do things, I know they're going to just want more attention, so I seem to keep it at the bare minimum.

I think she finally layed back down to get back to sleep. Let's hope.

It's 3 weeks until the end of the year. With each passing year, I'm remembering less and less of what happened during the year. Hell, I can't even remember what happened the previous week.

I really hope that 2016 is less stressful, but I'm sure it will be even more stressful with my luck.

I have a few projects that I REALLY want to get off the ground next year and will talk a little bit about it in the year-end blog about my plans. I'm going to try and really commit myself to it. I need to stop this procrastinating crap and get some work done that I can reflect back on rather than saying every year, "Well, I guess I didn't do AGAIN what I was going to do." Sooner or later, I'm going to run out of years, man.

Wow - my last post was about trying to blog everyday in November and now it's a month later with no posts...how does that even happen. I literally can't remember what even happened in November except for the Thanksgiving stuff we did just last week in Tulsa.

Lately, I feel like I've just been on autopilot, doing the everyday stuff and not really thinking about anything I'm doing, if that makes sense. I'm tired everyday and I'm just resting to tackle Connor's fits every day. Sometimes he has multiple and it's getting really old. I dunno how to avoid it. It's usually at or around 3:30-4pm like clockwork. Worse when it's a no-school day. He just gets bored. He constantly follows Emmeline around, who is getting an attitude herself. I just want some break time, but I have to watch them constantly. I should get some gates up, but the hallways and openings are too big, plus if they're not swing gates, I would have to take them down every time Connor wants to go back into his room.

Anyway, it's the holiday season and I know that it's Laura's favorite time of the year. I need to work on being happier and in a good mood. It's just that I haven't had much motivation to do anything lately. Especially the last couple of months. I have a lot of plans and projects I want to do next year, one that involves Connor to try and make some side money on YouTube to pay for our trip to Disneyworld, but we'll see how that goes. We've been spending a lot of money this past month or so and we need to cut down. Plus we have property taxes coming up this year. I think we'll be in a good spot by the end of the year, but it will take some budgeting. Actually, glad I mentioned the property tax to myself because the first half is due at the end of this month. Sheesh. The other stressful thing that's been on my mind, which, hopefully is gone now, is the fricken chimney leak that we've had since we moved in. I've been e-mailing and dealing with the roofers and a handyman but it didn't get fix after like 3 attempts until now. I think it's fixed now because they finally just redid the flashing completely last time. It rained a buttload for several days last week and the bucket in the attic and the rafters were dry, so here's hoping that it's all taken care of.

However, an ice storm came through at the same time and broke a shitload of branches off all of our trees, so hopefully none of them die. I spent about an hour today cutting them into manageable pieces to put by the curb for pick-up as well as cutting smaller pieces to dry and use as firewood. I read that a few months should dry it pretty good. So I guess we won't use it until the spring.

Anyway, it's 11:10p and I should get to bed because it's going to be morning in a heartbeat and I'll have to do it all over again. Tomorrow's school, so that helps a little, but not really because I have to race home to put Emmeline down and then wake her up from her nap to pick Connor up.

Ugh.

3-month catch-up.

I have a bit of time as Emmeline is sleeping, although she will probably wake up soon like she usually does. Anyway, I really can't even remember what happened in August. My memory is just getting so bad. I don't think anything big happened. We didn't travel anywhere or anything, so. I've just been trying to stay sane everyday with Connor acting up almost every day at one point. I was getting so stressed. It sucks because I had the coughing thing that started around Labor day that's still going on until today and having bad sleeps. All this was, and still is, not letting me recharge each day for the next day, which sucks. Laura does so much to help after she gets home, but it's something about hearing their voices and screaming or something just makes me not able to relax or something.

Then, we have to get the house ready for Emmeline's party this weekend. I remember when we had months to do this, but now it's this weekend. I dunno where the time went. We are pretty close to ready, though. We got the new couch that looks great in the living room. There was another big purchase, but I can't even remember what it was. I've been slowly trying to pay down the credit card before the Christmas shopping hit, but I don't think that's going to happen since we have car insurance this month as well. We'll see. We might be able to hit 0 for the first time in months. I just hate using savings to clear it off.

Anyway, like I said, the house is pretty clean. It just gets messy each day because the kids play with the toys and don't put it back...oh good, Emmeline is starting to wake up. Anytime I try to do something, she wakes up. So, after putting the pictures up around the house and decluttering some areas, we are in pretty good shape. I made a coffee table for us and all that's left for that is putting a few coats of poly on it. It looks pretty good. There are blemishes if you look closely, but hopefully no one looks that close.

Halloween was okay. Connor was a fireman and Emmeline was a pumpkin. I had to answer the door to give out candy and I absolutely HATE doing that. I dunno why. I just do. It's not like I don't like kids or have a tough time dealing with them. Something about answering the door at home. I just can't stand it. Laura doesn't understand why either. I just have to do it. I probably lost 10 years of my life doing it.

Well, I need to return a library book, so I better wrap it up. I was going to blog everyday this month, but that went out the window after yesterday.

Okay, got some time while they are sleeping. Here we go:

Closing on the house and moving

So, we closed on the 29th of May. We had our final inspection the day before and all seemed well. They mentioned a leak near the fireplace, but they said they would take a look at it, etc, etc, but at this point, I was pretty sure that they weren't going to do anything. Which was right. It's leaking near the flashing I think and nothing has come about, so we're going to have to fix it soon.

Anyway, we go and signed all the paperwork, we met the homeowners at the signing and we got our keys. We went straight to the house for a little bit because Laura's parents were watching the kids during this time. We got some stuff ready and they came over. We thought we had the entire next month to move and paint and get everything done, right? Nope. Time goes by faster in these cases. We got like 2 rooms painted and moved so little, ha. Most of it went to the garage, as well, so we still had to rummage through and bring them in one by one. Fast forward 2 months and we're still unpacking. We don't have too much left, I suspect we'll be done, hopefully, in the next month. There's probably like 20 or so boxes in the garage and a lot of that is random garage stuff once I get my desk put back together in the garage. The best decision about this move, though, was paying for 3 (4?) hours of moving help. We had them do all the furniture and heavy stuff...namely the armoire. That armoire, man. Anyway, I think not moving all those heavy things helped. It was about $200 and I think that was a bit much for the time, but, you pay for convenience, I guess.

So, again, we're slowly getting everything in its place. We need to get a few more big items like the new couch, some bookshelves, etc.

Backpacking with Chris

This took place a couple of weeks after we got the house, so it really cut into moving time even though I literally went for a weekend. Anyway, I flew out Thursday real late and the next morning we set off for the campsite. We were planning on going to our usual spot but once we got there, we found out that all the May rains flooded that area, so we had to choose a campsite a couple of miles farther. I was already on the fence about backpacking because I'm not in shape by any means and I didn't really exercise for this trip but choosing the farther camp made me worry for real in my head. It was about 6-7 miles I think and it might have been fine if it was our usual trail as well, but we had to use a different trail that was much more difficult than the other. the elevation gain was like 4000 feet versus about 1000, so.

We decided to get a couple last minute things at the market and headed up there. We put on our packs, which weighed 28 lbs for me and 30 for him - not proportionately correct, but whatever. He kept insisting that it's the same weight, so it's equal. Right. After the pack was on, I was already feeling it after the first few hundred feet. This was just past the trail head and we were actually trying to find the trail because it wasn't marked, but judging from being on the trail on the walk back, I think we were just blind somehow. So, we were already going pretty slow in the first 10 minutes and it started off with a huge climb. The climb took maybe 30-45 minutes. Wasn't long but it felt so tiring. Then we descended probably more than we climbed, which we said was going to be a bitch on the way back. At the bottom of this ridge was a river. So far it was like 1.5 hours. We then started up another ridge, then down again. Another hour, hour and a half go by. At this point, I was feeling all right. I took a lot of rests, basically stopped for a minute or two every 15 minutes? I had to keep my legs rested because this was a lot more climbing that I imagined. Still, I was surprised I was doing well. Chris was even saying it was hard for him. I think we were on par with each other and I was at an altitude disadvantage.

We took a longer rest after the 2nd ridge and then started on the 3rd. This was the longest and took like 2 hours to get to the top. I was looking at the GPS on the tablet here and there and tracking how far we had left to go. The map said the camp site was close, but it was off by a little bit, so it was demoralizing. After another hour, we finally find the camp site after having to cross a river without shoes. I tried to make a bridge, but that didn't work. The water was freezing too. We chose our site and of course there was no one at either of the 2 sites. We got some water, got the fire going, and ate. I was pretty tired. We talked a bit about random stuff and discussed whether to head back the next day or not because we were already bored and we didn't know what we would be doing all day the next day. We decided to head back the next day. Through the night it was fine. The weather was getting cold as the evening approached and I remember seeing the low to be like 30s, so I was prepared. It was really weird, though, because halfway through, I was sweating, so I took my jacket off. In the morning, it was REALLY warm outside, like, warmer than the night before. Strange because the morning is supposed to be the coldest time. We didn't even make a fire because it was already warm, almost hot even. We ate breakfast, which was pretty good. I was looking forward to the Mountain House meals, but it wasn't as satisfying as when Laura and I went with them. Dunno why.

Anyway, we left around 9 and got back around 1p to the car, I think. It was maybe an hour faster on the way back and I was feeling really good the first hour or two then I started to get tired. That super descent at the very start, which now became a straight-up climb was definitely the hardest part of the walk. We never saw anyone except when we first started on the first day. They passed us at the start and went another route. The weather was perfect as well. No rain or anything until just before we reached the car on the way back. Dunno if I'll do that trail again, but it was good to know that I was able to do it.

We ate at McDonald's in Estes Park and went home. We took it easy that day. The next day I was pretty sore and now I was worrying that I wouldn't be able to help move the coming weekend. It all went fine, though. I was pretty much back to normal by then.

Colorado Trip

I was dreading this the moment we decided to go and at the time we hadn't decided whether or not we would be flying or driving. In retrospect, I'm not sure which would have been worse. I think flying would have been easier, I guess. The only thing different would have been the drive there, which we did over 2 days both times. I guess we would have been paying way more, but...oh well. The drive wasn't really that bad. A couple of times the kids were just sick of being in the car and had some fits, but overall, it was fine. The stay at the hotels were fine, too. A couple of times we all stayed in the same room and that went surprisingly well.

Connor wore the kilt during the wedding and it was a big hit. He danced A LOT during the wedding reception as well. He even met and danced with another little girl. It was cute. The wedding went fine and I got some good shots, but I was just tired of watching the kids by the end of the entire trip. We hung out with Chris and Alicia for a couple of days and met my sister and Mom as well.

Seems like I wrote very little on the Colorado trip...dunno why. Maybe I'm tired of writing or something. The kids are about to wake up as well. Really, there wasn't much to report except watching the kids and Laura doing wedding stuff.

I did have a really awkward time at the rehearsal dinner because I sat at the table with some Japanese friends of Matt's and I sometimes talked in Japanese and sometimes in English, and most of the time, everyone was just quiet. Just really awkward. I wish Laura had been there, but she was watching the kids. I was going to sit at other tables but it got full. I think Laura there would have had a better time overall. The slideshow was easy to set up and I just took a few pictures, which Laura could have done. Oh well.

Well, I better mentally prepare myself for them waking up. She has been HORRIBLE with any type of sleeping the last few weeks. The last couple of days, though, she has been doing pretty good if I just put her down and let her cry it out. By 10-15 minutes, she's sleeping. She wakes up a couple of times during the nap, but goes back down again. I wish we could do that during the night, but Laura insists on keeping her in our room. Connor was in his own room by this age, I'm pretty sure. I don't remember going to get him to feed once a night and putting him back, but then again, I don't remember much from his early months.

Okay, I'm off. Laura's parents are coming down tomorrow so they can watch the kids on Friday so we can go get dinner and possibly a movie for our anniversary. We haven't gone to dinner just us since our last anniversary, I think! Maybe not that far back, but pretty sure. We have to get the house ready, as well.

See ya.

Almost 3 months. This is getting out of hand.

I'm way past my bedtime and have been exhausted to no end the last few weeks. I just got here to write down a few topics that I need to write about since May:

Closing on the house and moving
Backpacking trip with Chris
Ellen's wedding trip

Lots of stuff...

2 months. Man.

Anywho, this is just a quick update without looking at what I had written in March. The last couple of months have been super stressful and hard. Not sure why - I think just lots of stuff going on every week and weekend, Connor being very difficult for some reason (more than normal), and Emmeline's sleep being quite horrible. I'm just tired every day and the constant need of having to do something all the time sucks. The hour and a half or so of break I get when both are asleep goes by quick, too. A few times, though, I have been trying to take naps at the same time in Emmeline's room and that has helped a bit to catch up on sleep, but it just gets exhausted the next day. Plus, I just hate to lose that free time, but, what can you do.

Emmeline's baptism is tomorrow. Hopefully, the Deacon has remembered it. He is the flakiest person so we'll see. Tornado threats have been higher the last week or two. So far, we've been lucky to have just high winds and rain. Not even hail. All the bad stuff has been several miles south of us as usual.

Which brings me to a big update. We bought a house! We're pretty excited and I think we both can't wait to move in and start to make it our own place. It's in a great neighborhood with a park literally a minute or two away, so Connor will like that. The yard is nice and the inside as well. Finally got a 4th bedroom for guests or whatever as well. It was a good segue because the house has a storm shelter. Thank god. At least we'll be safer now. The last couple of weeks, I've been thinking about a workshop area and what I can build a lot. Laura has been looking at paint colors. I think I've finally boiled it down to getting a beginner (i.e. cheap) table saw with at least a good blade (looking around, it'd be around $50-$60 - almost half the cost of the table saw, haha) and that should cover being able to make whatever we'd need. I've been thinking about benches for the backyard, end tables, and perhaps a wall-to-wall shelving system for the garage. We'll see. I'm not sure how much it would all be, but it would be however much 2x4s are. I don't think they're too expensive. Nope, it looks like they're about $3 each. That's awesome. Can't wait to start making useful things. I'll need to stock up on things in the beginning like screws, stains, etc, but that shouldn't be too much. There are other workshop tools that I'd like, but that would be farther down the line. Eventually, I'd like to get some pin nailers for little projects and trim and stuff, a miter saw for convenience (not really necessary), a router, and that's really about it.

In just about a month, I have a 2-day backpacking trip planned in RMNP with Chris. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm also worried that I won't be able to do it because I'm quite out of shape. It's to the same place that we all 4 made a trip to back in 2008 or 2009 or something like that. Even back then I was dying. Hopefully, I don't just crap out halfway there on the first day. The usual 2-3 hour hike is going to be 4-5 for sure, haha. The other thing is that the time SHOULD be a time to relax and get a break from the kids, but I think I'm just going to get overtired when I get back. One big reason is that I'm flying back in on Sunday at like 11pm and I have to drive back home...that's going to suck, especially the next day.

Anywho, I'll write more as we get closer, but I should head to sleep. Way past bedtime and because of Emmeline's waking up multiple times in the middle of the night, we've all had zero good sleep the last week or two. Sigh.

I say I will be back tomorrow and it somehow becomes a month! I dunno what it is these days but I cannot seem to keep up with blogging anymore. I used to do it so often when I first started. Maybe I had less to do? I dunno. It takes just a few minutes to write something, but I just don't have the motivation to do it.

Anyway, now would be better than any other to do a quick 2014 summary.

It was a big year, again. Biggest news I guess would be Emmeline being born, but let's go through earlier in the year. Connor turned 2 and, boy, I can't even remember what type of birthday it was. I think it was a Thomas-themed one since he was so into it back then. He's not as much now (thank goodness we paid so much to get all these Thomas things for him). I had to read my earlier blogs (my whopping one a month) to see what was going on. Looks like he had just started soccer class in the Spring and into the Summer. I can't believe that was a year ago already. Then, apparently we went to Colorado! I don't even remember that. I don't know why we went, but I guess we did. Wow. I don't think anything big happened during the Summer. I do remember I was surprised that we had 0 tornado warnings last year. Yeah, jinxed myself for this season, ugh. Then it was the start of Connor's first days of school. He was great the first day, then the next few times were a little rough as he knew what was going to happen. Then he finally started enjoying it. We had a couple of incidents of bad behavior like throwing rocks and toy-taking but overall he's been great and the teachers love him. He seems to get along with the other kids in the class as well. 

Then, it was Emmeline's time to be born! The pregnancy was good for Laura up until the last couple of weeks when she seemed to get tired of it. This time, though, she did not have to endure an 18-hour labor but the exact opposite. We definitely left a little too late and she ended up having her minutes after we got there. Probably turned out for the better though since we probably wouldn't have wanted to wait around for epidurals and such. She's doing great and already has a personality of her own, but man, does she look like Connor!

Then, we had the holiday season, which went fine if I remember right. Nothing big to report. That's about it!

Already into March, we are in full get-a-house mode. Now that we turned down Portland and subsequently a Denver job that didn't pan out, we need to find a house either this month or the next because we need to tell our landlord if we're going to renew by the end of April. I'm hoping something good comes up. I'm tired of this place and paying rent. Lately, I've been watching this wood working channel on Youtube and I really want to get a small workshop set up with some proper tools to make things around the house and yard.

We are also in the process of deciding what to get Connor into for this Spring/Summer. There is soccer, swimming, and gymnastics so far. Connor went to a birthday party for a kid in his class and he seemed to love gymnastics, so maybe that. I'm not sure. I just don't want to have to do all this by myself.

I'm currently trying to plan a backpacking trip for me and Chris for mid-June, but I'm just hesitant in putting anything in stone. I always do this. I don't do it until it's too late. It would just be for a few days and I would literally fly in, go to the trailhead, hike, camp a couple of days, maybe swing by Chris' house and then fly out. I'm thinking Thur-Sun or even Fri-Sun. Very short. Prices are reasonable I guess right now hovering around $226. I wish it was more like $170 and then I wouldn't think so much. I should check Southwest real quick as I've only used Kayak until now.

Well that's all. I don't want to waste my entire free time writing this. That reminds me. I need to write more of my book. Sigh.

Laura took the kids to Tulsa this Valentine's weekend as I opted to stay home and unwind a little bit. The last couple of weeks have been CRAZY stressful. Something is up with Connor, man. That or if this is what 3 years old is, I don't know why they call it the terrible 2s. It's nothing compared to this.

Anyway, I got to this a little late as I was watching some TV while playing on the tablet. Tomorrow I intend to get a lot done around the house as it's a HORRIBLE mess right now. I'm just so busy/tired during the day that I couldn't keep up the last few days - not that I do much better when I do keep up. I want to really organize this living room. There are just toys everywhere. One reason, though, is because the layout just sucks and there is not a place to put any shelving and stuff. I'll need to browse around the internet for ideas and take a stroll through Home Depot.

So, yeah, I'll be back tomorrow night to finally do my year end summary nearly 2 months late. I hope the kids are nice to Laura this weekend, although she will have help. I really just needed a break from them. Silence was sorely missed.

Gah, the longer I wait, the more it's looking like the 2014 summary isn't going to happen, but don't worry, it will...I'll make sure of it. 

Emmeline rolled from her stomach to her back yesterday - a week faster than even Connor, who was really early at around 2 months and 17 days or so. We make crazy babies! Hopefully, she doesn't walk at like 8 months. 

Anyway, we're still deciding on some pretty important stuff through today and once that's decided, I'll post here. I dunno why I just shouldn't because no one reads this blog or knows about it unless they know the address and that's basically Laura. I don't think you can find it via search, either, so it's pretty safe. Yup, I just checked now and, at first glance, couldn't find this blog. Anyway.

Connor's about to wake up. Be back soon.