The Break Before the Storm

We're already a month into Fall. The weather is definitely getting cooler, which is nice. The trees in our front yard are starting to change their colors. I like the atmosphere that Fall and Winter bring.

Connor's been in school for almost 2 months now and is pretty much settled in, although there are still times when he doesn't want us to leave in the morning, but not because he's anxious, but because he wants us to wait until he's the last one to sit down, which means that he can be the line leader heading into class. Dumb reason, yes. Anyway, the first few weeks were rough for him in the morning, but he's good now. He's made several friends and his favorite is a girl named Gabby in his class. There's a girl in the other class that seems to like him, too, but I'm afraid that Connor is sometimes rude in that regard, like not paying attention or something. I dunno. His behavior has been crap lately as well. Still hitting and stuff. Dunno what the issue is. Sometimes, I think he's bipolar or something.

For a while there, starting August-ish, there was something going on every fricken week, sometimes multiple times a week and that got me burnt out. Still am, but Laura was able to take the kids for a few days to Tulsa this past weekend, so that was great. I cleaned up around the house a bit, but mostly just relaxed. I felt like I did nothing, though, which wasn't a good feeling. I just hate wasting away the day, although that is what I do mostly. I still haven't done the cranes for this holiday season. I think at this point, that's out the window. I really wanted to, but I couldn't get the motivation to get started. It would cost around $500 to get everything to make 300 gift boxes. I think with what I learned about what sells last year, I think I could sell it all this year, but I just never got to it. I wanted to have my first book drafted, edited, and put on Amazon, but that hasn't happened yet. I have it done, but Laura needs to read through my second edit, which I think is much better as I put in stuff that she suggested. It's just that we're both busy and tired. I keep thinking that I should just go through it one more time and then throw it up on Amazon, but, again, motivation.

Every night I end up playing video games on the computer because at the end of the day, I just don't want to have to do something like chores and stuff. I keep imagining what I would have finished by now if I had been doing THAT instead of the hours of games each night. I'm sure I would have finished my entire story by now. Thing is, I have weird quirks about how I write. I can't have any sound or noise. I'm writing on my computer which is distraction for me to just surf the web.

Anyway, enough ranting. This week is Emmeline's birthday party with a whole bunch of people, which is, again, stressful. Laura makes it more stressful because she tries to do too much. I keep saying to just buy the cake and all the catering and no need to "get the house ready," but it is what it is. My Mom is also coming out for a week this Thursday, I think. It will be a nice help for her to watch Emmeline more, but that comes with the caveat of me getting annoyed at what she does and stuff.

To add to all this, every month I'm helping out in the library for volunteer hours. It's only a couple of hours and I've only done it once so far because for the first month, we all had pink eye and had to cancel. It's 2 hours, but still, I just don't want to do it. I regret signing up for it. I hate how you need to volunteer so many hours a year for the school. I think it's stupid.

I better go and get some things done before I get Emmeline up even though she usually messes around in the crib. We need to move her to her own bed, too, and not a crib. That's going to be fun.

First Day of Kindergarten

Well, that "month left" from the last post certainly went by quick.

Yesterday we all took Connor to his first day of kindergarten as a family. Emmeline was disruptive sort of as always, but he seemed to do well, for him anyway. He was upset and very nervous but he only cried at home and not at school from what I saw. He sat in his little row in the gym with his class as they all assemble at the gym each day for news and stuff. All the parents left before the assembly was over, so we waved goodbye but I don't think he saw us. It was a little sad seeing him sitting there looking for us, but I think he had fun as we saw him smiling and stuff when we picked him up. He was, again, nervous this morning, probably more so than the first day, but that's always the case with him and these kinds of things. He gets more and more difficult about it for the first few days and then he seems to be fine.

This Thursday is Emmeline's school's orientation and then on Friday we meet her teacher. I'm sure she won't have any issues, though.

Still having no motivation to do anything other than just surf while they are doing their quiet time. Well, it's really just Emmeline's nap now (which she is taking less and less of each day, but that's another story) since Connor's in school everyday. I really, REALLY need to take this opportunity and DO something, but I just can't get myself to do it. And even if I say to myself that this is a break to give me a buffer for when they ARE awake/active, I seem to just get in a bad mood instantly when they start behaving badly. Maybe I just need to adjust my perception of "bad behavior." I dunno.

I already only have 20 minutes before I get Emmeline. She was dicking around the first half of nap time when I noticed the monitor was beeping. She had knocked the power adapter loose again. As I went in to plug it back in, she was standing up trying to reach her dolls that I had moved away because if it's next to the crib, she just grabs all of them in the dark through the rails. Hopefully, she's napping now, but it'll be short again.

Bleh, and now it's time after dicking around playing this game online...sigh.

2 Months in - 1 Month Left

Summer has been a rough one, I might say. Kids are bored, hot, and not much to do. Part of that may be me being lazy, but we've gone to a park almost every day in the mornings. I'm sure they're tired of it by now. It's too hot to play outside by 10am most days, so then it's off to the stores we go until we come back home for lunch. In the afternoon, we usually go in the backyard where it's way too hot and play in the sprinklers. Come in, lay around for a while and then TV until Laura gets home. Rinse and repeat every day. I would like to do other stuff, but it's hard to get into the groove to do it. They do have a couple of things going on this Summer, such as Amazing Athletes at their old school and soccer and stuff, but, I dunno. I'm just burned out by them. They have been pretty whiny as well the last few weeks for some reason. Almost around the time we got back from going to Ashley's wedding in Indiana.

Oh, so that. We left the kids with Laura's parents for 3 days while we drove out to Ashley's wedding. It was a fun time to be there without worrying about the kids, feeding them, nap time, etc. I wish it were longer though so we could have done more or something. On the way home, we did stop by Cahokia mounds. It wasn't as cool at the documentaries I've seen showed it. We climbed up the highest mound. The view was cool, but that's about it. Pretty tiring to do in hot weather.

What else. Other than general lack of motivation to do anything, that's about the extent of the news. Tomorrow the kids start camp at the old school MWF all day, which is nice for me, obviously. However, what am I going to do?! I really want to finish this first book of my fantasy series and to publish it on Amazon, but I'm not sure. I wanted to Laura to re-read the edited draft because I added a lot of stuff to it. Maybe I just need to go through it again, take care of any mistakes and then just publish? I dunno.

I should be doing stuff right now, but I'm probably just going to end up surfing and writing this blog. I just don't know how to get started to do things. I often start it and stop halfway.

We still haven't gotten the fricken fence fixed. We've contacted a couple of places, but they don't seem to call back for estimates. I dunno what to do. We want to fix the fence and then put the shed and play area for the kids in the back. We also, I think, really need to talk about getting a van. We are just so short on space in the SUV, even with the hitch basket. It's weird. The thing is, I'm not sure if a van would solve that problem. I don't think we would get much more room out of it unless we put a hitch on it like now. Then we would definitely have more room. A decent Odyssey with decent miles would be around $22000. A bit more after taxes and fees. That's a lot of money.

We are also planning on taking a trip to Colorado during Thanksgiving break this year. We were looking at cabins in Estes Park for a few days and a few days on the front range visiting family/friends.

Yesterday, I read that my old friend from high school had just moved back to Longmont. I am thinking about trying to get the old gang back together for little reunion. I think it would be fun. It has been, what, almost 10 years since we've been as a group. Maybe a bit more, actually.

Well, I should get to...doing nothing...tomorrow is going to be another stressful day. Full day at camp for both. I'm sure Connor will be all right, but I dunno about Emmeline. She is DEFINITELY not going to take a nap during nap time. I hope I don't get a call from them. I really don't know what I'm going to do. I don't want to be too far away in case they call or something, but, I dunno. Whatever.

Summer is Almost Here

So, I started this blog like a few weeks ago, but never started it. I just wrote the title. My procrastination is getting worse every year. Since the last blog, not too much has happened other than some birthday parties for Connor and his friends. Actually, I guess we had Connor's birthday at the gym and my Mom was over for about a week. The weather has been slowly getting warmer, almost hot. Summer is right around the corner, if not already here.

Today was Connor's last day at school. It was a half-day. Tomorrow is his last big school program for preschool, then the all-school picnic, and then Summer is basically here. I'm not sure how I'm going to cope, but I need to try my best to keep my patience. I don't have anything planned as far as activities. Maybe the Science Museum a couple of times. I have talked to him about going to the Salt Plains to do some crystal digging, but that's a semi-big venture as it's about 2 hours away. That's 4 hours of driving for maybe an hour of digging. Laura says I should just take Connor as a bonding trip and stay the night and stuff, but I dunno. That's a lot of work for not much time at the digging site. The digging seems cool, though, and I think Connor would like it a lot. It's free, I believe. I still have to think about it. I think it'd be better as a family trip. Even though it's mostly driving.

The other thing that I wanted to write down was that one day after dropping Connor off at school, I was going home the way I usually do. Nothing out of the ordinary. I was on the left lane and suddenly the car in front of me, actually, a work truck, swerved hard into the right lane. There was a car that was stopped, trying to turn left into a parking lot that he didn't see, apparently, Anyway, that stopped car wasn't hit, but the swerving truck hitting a random SUV that was coming up from the right lane, minding its own business. The truck hit just right and pushed the SUV's back to the right, causing it to flip and roll once. The person seemed okay. We all stopped and a guy in a truck behind me pulled up and got out to check to make sure she was okay. The guy in the truck got out and started pacing, obviously knowing it was his fault and what he just caused. It was surreal to see it in front of me as it could easily have been me passing on the right. I think that was the closest I've been to see an accident happen. I have seen other accidents, but it was always after it happened, wasn't that big of an accident, or, once, it happened behind me as I drove away.

What else. Lately, it's been more of a bleh time for me again. no motivation, tired, and, yeah, just no motivation. I want to do thing such as finish my book which, I was into for a little while again. And a little while meaning like a week. I would still probably be writing except that I can't write at the library anymore because Google acts all weird and my work doesn't save. Unsecured connection or something. I could probably write just in Word, but...too stubborn to do that. I like to be able to access it anywhere. I just need to stop making excuses, I guess. I'm a couple of chapters into the 2nd book. Laura is in the process of editing the first. We've just both been tired and busy the last few months that she hasn't had a time to read it at night. Maybe once I get the first book out and I don't get discouraged from any and all reviews, that will get me to write again. I also want to do the cranes, too, but, again, no motivation. It's like, okay money, but the profit margin is so small that it's not worth the time to make it almost. Last year, I spent about $300-400, I can't remember, to make about $1200-ish (?) but then Amazon's cut is almost half that. I would make a pretty good killing if I sold it locally at a craft fair or something so Amazon isn't involved, but I'm not that kind of person, you know. It would almost entirely be profit. I think people would buy it, too, but, alas.

Again, I wasted my time playing Overwatch off and on while writing this and during quiet time. I could be working on my book an hour or two every day, unhindered, but I choose not to. Ugh. Now it's time to get them out and it doesn't feel like I've had any time to myself even I did...I dunno what's wrong with me!

We finally want to get the fence fixed and sent for an estimate from a fence place, but, our luck, they contacted once and now they've seemed to have forgotten...it's like, we try, but we can't seem to be able to do what we want to do. After the fence, we agreed on getting a fairly large 7'x7' shed for around $600 and put it in the back corner. It would fit perfectly. Then I thought I could make them a little play fort, not connected to a tree or anything, just stand alone. Lots of stuff to do, but we'll see if it gets done this Summer.

Gonna take them outside and fill up the sand table with water now, I guess.

Reaching My Max

The last few weeks have been CRAZY. Crazy in that there have just been a lot of little things going on that keep taking my time and that I've been with the kids solo a lot. I know it's not anyone's fault, but it's getting to me. I need a break from them. Quiet time may constitute as one of those times, but it just isn't the same, for some reason. I've been tired and I think I managed to not get a cold this time. I thought I was starting to a couple of days ago, but it seems like it was just bad allergies or something. Although, my throat hurts from coughing (or yelling at the kids the last week, ugh), so I dunno.

I did get my bottom retainer a couple of days ago and it's been two nights since I've started wearing them. It's bigger than I first imagined, but I'm slowly getting used to it. My jaw seemed weird since it's slightly open all the time. Hopefully it works and I am diligent enough to wear it because, well, mostly because it cost almost $300.

More school activities coming up. I think next week or the week after that, I have to teach some of the kids how to play a board game or something like that. I don't really want to do it, but whatever. Then it's Connor's birthday party at the gym, a different one this time. I think he'll have fun. We rented out the small little area for just us, so that's good. Other than that, I'm just tired.

I'm going to take this quiet time to rest. I'll write more later because I do have more to write.

A Rocky Start to 2017

8:43pm. I'm sitting here, procrastinating when I should be editing my first draft of book #1 of my "episodic" novel series. I can't even write this blog, let alone edit a book, fully concentrated since I have YouTube up on my other monitor with a bag of Cheez-Its next to me.

Okay, so now it's 9:01pm as I watched a few videos. 

Where did I leave off...oh, the cancelled Colorado trip. Well, that got moved to President's Day, which was Feb. 20 or something. I ended up going and, although it was probably not worth it for the time I spent there, it was a good break from the kids. I decided to drive to Salina, KS that Thursday and stay at the Days Inn. I left the house around, actually, let me mention the "presentation" I gave Connor's class for Asia month. 

I was pretty nervous about doing this, but it ended up all right. I was asked to come in and talk about Japan since Connor's class was learning about Asia in February. I said sure, but I wasn't sure what I would be doing. I ended up doing a super fast origami demo of a samurai hat and then the big thing was to teach them how to roll sushi rolls. I thought it was going to be a disaster, trying to teach his class and, as it turned out, the other pre-k class, how to roll seaweed with rice spread on it on a sushi mat. These are 5-year-olds...anywho, it actually went all right like I said and the kids had fun. Some even ate the roll and they all took it home. I would have loved to go the next day to hear reactions, but, alas, Connor got the flu so he missed the rest of the week. Oh, right, the flu.

We've basically been sick, someone in our house, since Thanksgiving, pretty much. I'm FINALLY about over this mucusy cough that I've been having, though I still get bouts here and there. Anyway, Laura got some bad stomach thing for a few days, and then Connor and probably her Mom, though we're not 100% sure about that. Emmeline and I somehow dodged that bullet and stayed relatively sick-free, aside from runny noses and slight coughs. We still kept her from school, though. Anyway, like I said, I wanted to hear from the parents if the kids said anything about my presentation, but no dice. I even made each of them a mini crane string, made up of 10 cranes hung on fishing wire with a bead at the end, and a paper clip to hang it from something. Yes, I used the Cranes for a Wish leftovers, but I still made it. They all liked it when I gave it to them. 

So, after that, it was a couple of days before I left for CO. After staying in Salina, I left early-ish next morning to drop-off some Braum's ice creams that I brought for Ellen and Matt. I brought our cooler and got a 10-lb bag of dry ice, which I was skeptical about but it kept the ice cream like a rock. About 1/2, maybe a little more, was left when I got there. I guess it was all gone by the time Ellen came back from work. I got there at 1pm or so. I thought it would last longer than that in my cooler, but I guess not. 

After getting lunch with Matt, I drove up to Chris' house. I stayed there for two nights. It was fun, but we really didn't do anything. Around this time, Chris's grandma wasn't doing so well, so his Dad flew out to CA. Also, his Mom's surgery was having some issues afterwards, so he was taking care of her periodically. So, again, we didn't do much other than hang out and sit around. I drove to Ellen's after that, on Sunday afternoon. We hung around and Ellen made dinner that took like an hour and half or something. She fell asleep while I was installing software for their new laptop and showing the cool new channel with movies and stuff on the Roku. We got ice cream at a place no one went before afterwards. It was pretty good. Then we watched some YouTube videos until it was time to go to bed. It was weird because it was such a short trip. The next morning I would be leaving at around 6:30 in the morning to get home at a reasonable time. I went to bed at like 11pm, thinking about how sucky driving that much with so little sleep would be. On the drive out and back, I listened to a bunch of different podcasts. The drive actually wasn't bad and it went pretty quick. I made a couple of stupid missed exits, especially on the way back that added like an extra 15 minutes. The crazy thing is that I made 2 wrong exits AT THE SAME SPOT both times. I just ran through the Kansas toll gate, too. I'm not sure how that's going to work. I didn't have any cash, so I was slowing approaching the toll booth trying to figure out what I was going to do, but the gate opened both times, so I just went through even though it was just for the Kansas toll tag owners. Oh well. I might get a bill in the mail. 

So, yeah, it was a good break, but a lot of it was filled with driving. 

Back at home, Connor's been doing well with the full days. He excited about them now and likes it better than the half-days, it seems. 

The other reason 2017 is off to a bad start is that Laura's grandparents, both sides, aren't doing so well. One is in higher care than he was and the other, well, not doing well. That's why Laura left this morning to head to St. Louis, in case anything happened. I guess they are opting off of dialysis or something. Anyway, this kind of stuff is not my strong point at all. Of course, I'm here with the kids. I woke up at 3:30 in the morning today because of my damn allergies which, so far, has been the worse I've ever had here, I think. The trees have been blooming everywhere because of the warm winter and it's killing me. Literally, I'm waking up every morning at like 4, which seems like it's about the time the Zyrtec runs our or something since I take it the prior morning. I should start doing Flonase at night. I need to check the expiration on the one I got from a couple of years ago. Anyway, I hope this allergy goes away because I'm miserable from like 4 in the morning to about 9-ish when the meds I take in the morning kicks in. Here and there throughout the day, I get spikes of allergic sneezing and stuffiness. I should see if I can mix benadryl and zyrtec, because I'd totally take the benadryl at night since it makes me super drowsy anyway.

Well, that's about the wrap-up. Oh, my first book. Well, book #1. I finished it and Laura read it and said she liked it. I hope she is really telling the truth. I'm making the edits now, going through and making it better, hopefully. My goal, really, is to get this first book on Amazon by the end of the month and start some marketing, possibly, by creating a website for it and stuff. We'll see how the book is picked up, if at all. There are millions of books on Amazon, so it's naive of me to think that mine will get read by anyone at all...one can dream. Then, since it's an episodic-type story, my goal is to release a book every few months. We'll see how THAT goes with my laziness. 

Other than that, finding a kindergarten for Connor is the other big stress for Laura and I, mostly Laura. All the good places are waiting-list places and the public schools aren't too good, although Edmond schools are fine with me. It's the OKC schools that are horrible. 

I should get to bed. I fell asleep for like 10 minutes at 6pm tonight while I was winding down for bath. 

I'll be back soon, perhaps with book #1 edited and finished...

Procrastination Continues

So, as you know, MWF's have been much easier for me since Connor is staying at school until 3. I do random errands with Emmeline until lunch and then she naps until about 2. I moved her nap from 12-2ish so I have time to get ready to get Connor. I'd imagine she'll start napping less, though, maybe like 1-2? I dunno. Still, I seem to just waste away the free time by playing games on the computer. I should mention that I finished the rough draft of book 1 of my book. I just have to print it out and bind it into a book to have Laura read it and write notes and stuff on the margins as well as tell me what she thought of it. I told her that she needs to be honest since if she's not, potential reader on Amazon will be.

I also saw a branch that I could use as my crane tree prototype at Michael's the other day. I have too many projects and no motivation to do it. Sales for my cranes on Amazon have pretty much dropped to zero after the holidays. I sold maybe 2-3 in the last 2-3 weeks. I hope a few more sell for Valentines because on 2/25 or something, Amazon is charging a yearly storage fee. The more I sell, the less it will be. Mine is only like $30 or something, but it would be nice to make that lower. I SHOULD order more stuff to gear up for like Mother's Day, but I dunno. It seems that the holidays is where it's at. It might be a money pit the rest of the year since storage is about $4-5 per month. I guess if I sell 1 crane a month, that will cover the storage costs. We'll see what I decide.

Got about 20 minutes before I get Emmeline. Connor has been transitioning better to full days. He was a little nervous last week, but it's been slowly going away.

Oh, and One More Thing

The night before I was to leave for Salina (I was going to spend the night there and then complete the road trip the day after), I had made a reservation at the Baymont Inn there there by Braum's. We always stay there, so I figured why not. Of course, the next day I decide that I'm not going, so I figured the reservation was toast since the full refund cancellation time was Thursday at midnight.

Well, the next night, Laura had called Baymont to see if they could refund due to the ice storm. The lady was apparently nice enough to so Laura called Orbitz to do the refund since I booked it through there. I wouldn't have been able to do it. That's why I love her!

Disappointment

I'll preface this saying it was a good decision, but I decided against going to Colorado this weekend because, of course, out of ALL the fricken days in the last year, there had to be a HUGE ice storm coming through all the states that I was going to be driving through this weekend. I would have made it out fine, I think, but the problem would have been on the way home. The first round of ice came like Thursday night and Friday morning. The second round was to come Sunday night and Monday morning, which would have been the one to mess me up. However, after watching the news here and there, it looks like Kansas is already getting hit hard, so, overall, I think it was just safer for me to stay here.

Still, it sucks that I didn't get to go as this was going to be my break from the kids, but Laura has been watching the kids a lot the last two days, so it's helpful. The thing is, I woke up today all cold and my skin being very sensitive, which usually happens before I get a cold. ANOTHER COLD. We have been sick since pretty much Thanksgiving and I am tired of being sick. Now that one of us is sick, it won't be long before everyone is sick again and the cycle will continue. I have been coughing since Thanksgiving, too. I hate being sick.

It rained a good amount in the last couple of hours, which I assume is going to turn into some ice overnight. However, perhaps the ice that was there, which wasn't much, melted...probably not. I haven't looked outside in a while.

I should go to sleep. My neck aches. I feel sorry for the kids that they can't leave the house or play outside. This is when being rich, having a huge house, and having nannies help...I better finish my book...

Freedom

2017 is well on its way and even only in the 9 days since the last blog, so much has happened and/or will happen.

First, our first snow! And it snowed quite a bit. About 3" I think, but it's been 3 days now and it's almost all melted. It's like spring weather now. 50s and 60s before it drops down again for a little bit in a few days. The kids loved it, but I was cold. Now it's just going to get hot or something. I just want to be in perfect weather.

Second, Connor started school again and, this time, Emmeline as well! She had a lot of fun from what I could tell and she didn't have any issues with me leaving her. Connor didn't either the first day but broke down the next few times, so we'll see how she does the second day, which is tomorrow. However, I don't think she'll have that problem being the second child. Connor started his first full day this morning and he didn't take it very well in the beginning. I had to keep scooting back because he wanted to be behind me and stuff. Of course, his usual teacher is gone for a couple of days so the other teacher was substituting at the front door, whom he doesn't really like, but finally after some coercing, he went with an aid to put back some toys that Emmeline brought back on her first day. Of course, usual Connor, at pick up he was all smiles and was happy about his extended day. I'm hoping that he will just be happy to go on Wednesday and not do the stuff in the morning that he did.

That sort of brings me to the amount of free time that I'm now going to have sort of spread out throughout the week. MWF, I'm just going to have Emmeline until I pick him up. That's at 3pm. While she's sleeping, I am totally free and can work on some writing that I need to finish up my first book, which is one of my personal goals. I'm not sure what I'm trying to achieve with this project...in my mind I'm thinking it will be super popular and use the sales on Amazon to pay for our Disneyworld, but the reality is that I'll get some bad reviews and my pride will be hurt...we'll see, though. On T/TR, I have about 2 hours all to myself. The first day, I went to the library to write. I think I should use that time more productively, though.

Third, I'm planning on driving out to Colorado for a few days this Friday to get a little break for myself and pick up some stuff from Chris. I'm driving because I don't like flying, but also because I wouldn't really be able to bring back the computer(s) that I'm going to get from him. Either way, I like driving and it will be a nice "meditation"...or something. I might get a book on CD or something from the library. I wish I could have my laptop on and use voice recognition to work on my book while I'm driving, but that's probably not going to work. Laura is worried because the roads might get bad, but I don't think there's anything to worry about. I got the oil changed on her car, too. I need to get the suv's oil changed plus there's a slight leak coming out of it. The other interesting thing that I'm going to try is to get some dry ice to bring some Braum's to the McGuires. I'm planning on buying it at Salina and then putting it in a cooler and getting it there around noon the next day. It should keep quite chilly until then. Although, I need to work out the logistics a little more because I think I'm going to break the drive into 2 days. Thursday night will be the 3.5 hour drive to Salina. But the Braum's there and then take it next day...oh, I guess that's the logistics. I'll get the dry ice on the way out of town, I guess.

Anywho, I should get going. I'll still in my super unmotivated mode...not sure why. I was going to do some bills and stuff, but I ended up playing this stupid, but fun, Overwatch game.

The First of Many More...

Wow, okay. I either a) don't really like to blog anymore or b) I just suck at blogging...let's hope it's not either and it's just because that at the end of the day after watching the kids, I'm just so unmotivated that I don't want to do anything. However, that doesn't explain the fact that I waste away the night usually playing games and surfing on the computer. To my defense, being on the computer is a very non-physical, non-tiring activity. Perhaps that's why I end up doing that.

Anyway, let's recap up to July...I didn't even talk about the Galveston trip.

Well, overall, I think it went pretty well. We rented an AirBNB type house right near the beach and there were plenty of rooms for everyone and then some. Jordan ended up sleeping with Chris and Alicia even though there were two extra rooms. Connor and Emmeline slept in the two rooms in the "attic" area that was finished. All in all, everything worked out. It was hot, but we went to the beach a couple of times. One was the closer one where you just drove up. The other was a state park, so there were less people there. That one was better. I mostly watched Emmeline while Laura and Connor would go a little ways into the breaking waves. The kids had fun. Chris mostly walked up and down the shore while Alicia watched. We ate at a few cool places including the Rainforest Cafe that that kids loved. I can't remember if I've ever been there before. I must have, because it felt familiar. Anyway, we didn't do the ride that was there, but walked around the gift shop and then got Connor a frog cup during dinner. We also went to the old downtown, where we ate at an ice cream shop. That was fun. We then picked up dinner to eat at home. That, however, was the worst idea because Chris wanted to walk instead of move our cars again and it was fricken hot. We sweat so much walking there and carrying our food back. Afterwards, Chris and I got ice cream, though that might have been a different night. The drive back was the most hilarious time we've had in a while. He was holding all the ice cream and cups while I drove and it was just dripping everywhere. Not sure what was funny, but we were just laughing at the ridiculous situation. The drive there and back were good, but tiring for the kids. It was only like 4.5 hours or something, but it was tough for them as they ran out of things to do like an hour in and they would not sleep in the car. It was fun, though, and hopefully we can make a yearly tradition out of it.

What next. Then it was Connor's preschool starting, I guess. He was getting a new teacher, new class, new classmates, everything. He was very nervous, but he eased into it pretty easily. He loves his teacher now. The only problem, however, has been getting him to go potty at school. Finally, he managed to do it with Laura's help at first, but then a few more times by himself. Rewards helped a lot. Anywho, starting next week, he's transitioning to full days two days a week, so that's why we were in a rush to get this issue resolved.

Then things finally settled down a bit, but we were heading into the busy holiday season, which I love, but I get super tired and Halloween makes me nervous, as does other social events that come with it. Luckily, my Mom was out visiting during Halloween so I didn't have to answer the door for that. We went to some neighborhood event or picnic, actually, I can't remember if I went or what it was, but I was just uncomfortable. We went walking with the kids for Halloween and they got treats, though Emmeline just stayed in the stroller most of the time. Even that got me nervous to just stand out on the sidewalk. Dunno what it is.

Then we had our huge Thanksgiving gathering that included Laura's family, Kelly's family, Ellen, Matt, AND my sister's family, so we had like 20+ people and a couple of people that we've never really met. However, Laura pulled it off, though. The big decision was to move all the tables that we need for dinner out into the back yard for more room. I'm not sure that we'll do that again, but it was a success. I didn't do much for it, either. I feel bad.

Then right after that we went over to Tulsa or something to put up the Christmas tree plus Ellen and Matt were staying there. It just gets me so tired when we go there because we usually have to sleep with Emmeline in the room and the kids just don't sleep or nap at all. Anyway, I don't really remember what else we did. Stockings or presents maybe?

Oh...and it's 2017 now...sheesh. I should get to sleep.

Then, the last thing that happened was Christmas just now. This year has been weird, though, because Laura's grandparents have been ill, so they didn't come out for Thanksgiving or Christmas or anything. Laura's other grandpa didn't show himself much either because he's having some problems. To top it off, EVERY ONE of the kids and respective parents caught some kind of cold or something and we've been sick since a couple of weeks before actual Christmas. We STILL have it. We seem to be on the tail end of it all, but I'm still coughing a lot.

My Mom came out a couple of days ago to celebrate the New Year feast that Laura likes to put together. I really am proud of her for doing all these things while sick AND watching the kids. I've sort of been in the background doing nothing. I really feel bad, but it just that when she's home, the kids want to be with her, so I just seem to always end up yelling at them because they're not listening. I don't know. that is one of the things that I need to work on more this year. Patience, and staying off my computer more.

There are a few things that I want to set as goals for this year and I'm already behind on them. I want to possibly look into expanding my cranes on Amazon. Oh, that's one thing that I should mention. They've been selling GREAT over the last few months leading up to the holidays. Enough that I've broke even AND turned a profit of probably a hundred or two dollars now. That's why I sort of want to get into it more. The issue is my motivation and time, really. The other thing was to get this book fricken done because I've decided that I want to publish it on Amazon myself and see what kind of sales I can get. I really think that I have a good story, but, of course, that's just me talking. I need to get the first book done and have Laura read it. I've decided to make it episodic and not a huge novel, selling each book/episode on Amazon for .99 cents or even free to see what the audience, if any, thinks. I read that publishing on Amazon is mostly marketing and luck, and I don't doubt that, but hopefully, I'll get 1 sale...The last thing that I want to do is to work on our family's relationships. I need to stop fighting with Connor more, less yelling and getting frustrated so quickly, and spend more time with Laura. The good news is that because of an awesome find that I purchased at Goodwill for 2.99 and subsequently sold on eBay that night for $129, with a profit of $100, I was able to get us a good condition Xbox 360 to play a Tales game that's been hailed as one of the best in the series. Then, I happened to find a King's Quest re-telling for Laura that I gave for Christmas that hopefully she enjoys. Oh, and I want to get into more woodworking as well. Working on house projects is also on the list. Perhaps get a van...who knows, man.

Well, I should really get going. I also need to decide in a couple of weeks if I should go to Colorado or not. I'm planning on it if it doesn't snow a lot because I don't want to get snowed in on that side of the country, but we'll see. I'm really just going to take a break and picking up a computer or two from Chris.

Okay, I'm really done now...I will PROMISE to be more timely with my blogs. A handful a year like last year is just unacceptable. I'll also have titles, too!

Figured I'd get a quick sentence or two in while the kids are watching TV.

So, it's almost the end of November. A lot has happened since like 2 blogs ago and I really need to summarize it all, but I have a feeling that it's just going to end up in the year-end summary. The last couple of months have been rough for all of us I think because of all the events that's been going on and it may just be stressful through to the end of the year.

I've just had zero motivation (once again) to do anything. I was telling myself that at the end of November, I was going to publish the first part of my second book, but that, of course, didn't happen. I hardly got anything written as a matter of fact. I GOT to do it by the 1st of next year. I need a nice, clean date as a starting point or it will just bug me to no end. My goal is still to pay for the Disneyworld trip with these sales...that's shooting for the stars, though. On a similar note, however, I'm actually only like $40 away from breaking even on my crane gift venture on Amazon. Sales have been trickling, but steady. The other day I had a HUGE 22-crane order which helped a lot. Not sure why someone would need 22 cranes, but that's okay by me! I am regretting not using an automated feedback/review solicitation service since I started because I still have no reviews, but at the same time, I dread getting a bad review.

Anyway. The show is about to finish. I bought a new TV yesterday on a whim because it was a TV that I was eyeing for a long time and it was the lowest price I've seen (and probably the lowest it would get) since it was Cyber Monday. We didn't really need it, but, I don't know. I feel better about it after sleeping on it. I was contemplating returning it last night, but not so much now. We'll see how I feel in a couple of more days.

The main reason was to move the bigger TV into our bedroom and play a new Tales game that I got for the Xbox 360 (yes, bought that, too, but it was a break even deal; will explain later). Laura thought that the bigger TV might affect her sleeping at night, but we tested it out last night and I actually didn't think it was any brighter than our 32", surprisingly. I chose a brightness setting that changes automatically depending on the room's lighting conditions and it made it quite dark, but viewable. I'll ask her about it tonight.

Ok, I'm out for now.

2 blog posts in 8 months. That sucks. And this one doesn't even really count as a post. This weekend is going to be a rough one as we're going to Tulsa for Labor day weekend, but I'm going to take my laptop and try to get a good post in. Lots to talk about.

I should get to sleep...

January 24th was my last blog? Wow. I didn't think it was that long ago, for real.

Anyway, I'm here, trying to make up for it. Laura graciously took the kids to her parents house for the 4th of July weekend. The last few weeks have been very rough for me, more than usual. I think it has to do with school finishing for Connor, so he's home all day and is bored, Emmeline starting to do more and more things on her own, Connor starting swimming lessons a few times a week, which just went horribly. He had some good days, but each day was a chore for me to try and get him to go IN the water to begin with. He did great the second day, was nervous and didn't go in the 2nd day. The third day I think Laura came to encourage him and he did it while she watched. I think that sort of set the precedent of me having to stand near him the entire lesson, even though it's only 30 minutes long. All this time, Kelly would have to watch Emmeline, because I can't do both nor am I going to hold her for 30 minutes. The weather started to get hotter and hotter and standing out there with no shade was just awful. I didn't even want to do this swimming thing after that. Then after the first session, the teacher switched and of course Connor did not like that. It took a couple of days for him to get used to that. Then there were no lessons for like 3 days because the pool place couldn't get their shit together. Anyway, I think he would do a lot better doing private lessons, whether it'd be here or at Laura's parents house.

On top of that, the last couple of weeks Connor has been having very explosive fits, always trying to scratch me and kick me. I have to hold him so he won't scratch me, but he doesn't want to be held. Catch 22. My arms are currently messed up. He bit me twice today. I just needed a break from them. It just sucks not having a break from week to week. More so meaning times that I don't see them. I hope I can unwind this weekend, but I just know that once they come back, things are just going to be the same. I dunno how to fix it. School will help, for sure. They just need to be entertained more. I know that I need to work on playing with them more during the day, but I just get so tired by 10am that I end up letting them watch TV to take a break. I do take them places, but he's starting to get troublesome a bit at that.

Next week is preparation week for our trip to Galveston. I hope it goes well. Chris and Alicia are coming too. They're flying in. We had tried to think of a lot of places that would suit us, but in the end, we chose the beach since both sides seemed to favor that. We were going to head to the mountains, but that just wouldn't seem like a vacation for them. We thought about Oregon, but that would have been an expensive and stressful trip just to get there. Galveston is about 8-9 hours away for us, so we'll be driving, but I'm not sure how much better that will be vs. driving.

I think we have some dentist appointments this month for all of us except Emmeline. Hopefully, Connor doesn't freak out again like last time. he was just nervous last time, but we'll see. I just hate how everything we do involves his either acting up or being nervous.

For Laura's Mother's Day gift, I gave her a Fitbit which she uses all the time now and another small gift of me reading any book within a month that she chooses for me. She ended up choosing The Name of the Wind. I read it in about 2 weeks. It was pretty good, but there were some parts that I didn't care for. It wasn't as great as everyone has been telling me, though. I dunno if they overhyped me or what. After reading it, however, I'm starting to have another motivational boost to get my 2nd book started and finished. I'm thinking about using this weekend to get a huge jump on it. I planned to head to the library all day tomorrow and get a lot of it done, but we'll see about that. What I really should do is just sleep all day to get well rested. I mean, WELL rested. I haven't been refreshed in months. I sleep a good amount each night, but I just wake up tired. I keep blaming it on mono or something. I've been taking a multivitamin every day for a few months now, but I'm not sure if it's doing anything for me. I don't necessarily feel "better."

Anyway, other than the everyday stuff that's breaking my brain, everything else is pretty unchanged. We need to start on some housework I think, but we need to decide on what. Laura wants to start doing the backyard. That's fine with me. I don't really have anything to work on inside the house. I just feel energy-wise, I'm barely getting by each day. I need to change that to change my attitude everyday. I know I'm a big part of everyone's moods but it's just hard for me to change. I do try, but then Connor or Emmeline does something really stupid and I just revert back. We just need to win the megamillions that's like 400 million again and hire a nanny.

Missed a week...but, nothing new. Still doing my old routine...I just can't seem to break out of it and start writing my book. Ugh. Dunno what's wrong with me! It's already almost the end of January and I've got nothing done. I take that back. I got the table top materials of our kitchen table bought and stacked up in the garage. I need to start that soon. It's just been a little cold to work out in the garage. This week will be much warmer, however, I woke up today with a horrible cold - well, cold symptoms, I guess. My throat HURT for an hour or so this morning. It seemed okay during the day, but now it's sort of worse and I know it's going to be horrible tomorrow morning. So, we'll see how this week goes. When I get a cold, I just feel like doing nothing and irritated. It's just bad.

This weekend, though, Laura is giving me/us a weekend away from the kids - not far away, just near Lawton, but staying at a cabin or something via a coworker's friend. It should be fun. There's a small-ish "mountain" nearby that I want to see if I can get some good sunset shots. It's supposed to rain a little, but otherwise a nice, warm weekend. I hope my cold is gone by then.

Emmeline and Connor both have had horrible nights the last couple of days. They're just so tired and can't breathe and stuff. Tomorrow's going to be a fun day...he has school and then a dentist's appointment at 2pm I think, so Emmeline will have had a shitty nap and he'll probably be tired and sick...ugh. I hope he's in a good mood. Nervous about it. I should probably be more worried about Emmeline, actually. He actually pulls through at times like these.

Anyway, back to...procrastinating...

So, here I am, sitting in front of the computer at 11:06pm on Saturday. Since my tentative resolutions were written down, I don't think I've accomplished much. A few days ago, I upgraded my computer with all the parts after going through some frustrating processes, but it seems like it's all working well. I had to reinstall a few programs because there was a problem logging in to my old Windows operating system after upgrading the motherboard. Apparently, you have to do a full re-install or something. I tried to do a fix, but that didn't work. Luckily, I didn't lose anything, per se. My documents are still here, but a lot of the programs that I had aren't on here, albeit I never really used all of them anyway. At any rate, most or all of my essentials are set up. So, unless something happens with the hardware, I think I'm ready to go.

I have to point out, blogging more frequently has been on my mind, so that's good. It's only been, what 8 days or something? I did get a new board game to play with Laura that I've been wanting to get for a long time. It's called Ticket to Ride. It was fun, but I think that more people would make it more fun.

I think this month's project, however, is to get the kitchen table done. That's my goal. We've been needing a bigger table for a while now and I think it's just time to do it. It'll probably take a few weekends and week nights, but I think it's possible. There aren't any hard parts, but just time consuming and making sure that I don't mess up the cuts. Although, after checking the plans just now, it doesn't look like I NEED to make it a fancy interlocking style that I was thinking about, but just some bolts. I my opt for that. That would cut down build time by a lot. I'll keep updated on that.

Okay, I think I should get going. But really, It's hard to even start making these changes. The last few nights, I've been doing the same, mostly because I've been trying to test out my new computer for stability. I just restarted a few moments ago and it was doing something weird booting up, like stalling at the very beginning, the Windows logo not showing up for a while...it was freaking me out. I was already freaked out when I couldn't load my old hard drive, but I managed to get through that. I stayed up until 2:30 in the morning to get that one to work.

Anyway, be back soon.

Last Blog of 2015

Well, the day has come. Oh, shit, it's 12:01am, haha. I was just playing a new game I found on Steam and, well, I just get hooked on it. Anyway, happy new year.

2016, hopefully, is going to be a year of changes. I want to set personal goals and meet them each month. I want to write it all down in a timeline or something and keep track of them, so we'll see how it goes.

2015, although right now didn't seem eventful, was very eventful, to say the least. Laura and I were talking about it a little bit and she was right that 2015 was actually a pretty big year. We bought a house, moved, took a trip to Colorado for Ellen's wedding, and a slew of other smaller things like Wesley sleeping over with Connor, them sleeping in the same room without much trouble during the holidays...all the while Emmeline was not even 1 and turning 1 on November. To me, each day has been pretty rough, so for some reason it's hard to see the big picture for some reason. I forget about everything these days. It's getting harder and harder to store my experiences into memory, if that makes sense. I know I've been trying to go through month by month in past years, but I really can't remember that far back and that specific anymore, haha. Like, January 2015? I have no clue. I don't even remember off hand what I did for my birthday. Even doing it by quarter-years, I'd have a tough time. So, I trust Laura to remember the things we did and make me realize that we did accomplish a lot even though I don't think we did.

This Christmas was a crazy one because Matt and Ellen came this year AND we had Emmeline. It was very stressful, but we made it. I got some really good gifts, too. I'm actually getting one of the gifts that I ordered myself using a gift card on Saturday - a video card for my computer. I haven't upgraded my computer in 7 years, so I thought, maybe since I have some projects this year that I want to do, an upgraded computer would be nice. The video card was the first step and, coincidentally, would let me play some games that I might get into this year. I have the rest of my PC parts on the "to order" list right now. It's not much more, like $220 worth, which $170 would be covered by the rest of my gift card, so out of pocket would be a low $50 for a computer upgrade that I will probably make last again for at least a few years.

So, 2016 plans. Here's a rough breakdown. I'm not sure when I'll want to put these on the calendar for deadlines and such:

• Spend less time on the computer during the night
• Play a board game or spend time with Laura more during the week
• Projects with Connor (perhaps to upload to YouTube for extra income?)
• Meditate before going to bed with Laura
• Finish house projects
• Kitchen table
• Backyard stuff like Connor's swing, maybe a bigger playhouse/treehouse similar to what I saw in Sam's Club today, gardening stuff, landscaping, etc.
• Finish my fantasy book (perhaps make some money off of it somehow)
• I need to set a deadline for each chapter, set of pages, whatever. I just need to write and no more dicking around on the computer at nights.
• If I wrote an hour, hell, 30 minutes per night, I would get so much done. I have a lot of what I want to write in my head, I just get sucked into surfing EVERY time.
• Work more on my photography that I've strayed away from the last couple of years. 
• Take time to get out somewhere and take pictures. A couple of times this past year, I said I would, but never did.
• Stop procrastinating
• Have more patience with Connor and Emmeline
• Save more money in savings
• Pay extra payments on mortgage
• Take a vacation somewhere
• Be nicer to Laura
• Help out more in the mornings
• Blog more consistently - At least once a week, more if needed.

Well, that's a start. I'm not sure how I will organize all this, but this is just what came to my mind right now. I should get to bed because tomorrow is going to be a festive party with food that Laura's making and sushi and stuff. I'm going to be tired. Okay, I was just surfing for a couple of minutes...no more procrastinating...

P.S. I guess this just became the first blog of 2016!

December 20th. 5 days until Christmas and 12 days until the New Year.

Every year it seems like the year was a "waste." Now, I know it's not, really, but it just feels that way for one reason or another. I think the biggest reason is that I don't feel like I accomplished anything. Sure, I managed to live another year and raise the kids up another year, etc., but I didn't personally accomplish anything, I guess.

For example, I've been wanting to write this second fantasy book for the entirety of 2015. I've managed to write most of the background of the story (within the first few months) and about 10 pages of the actual story, but since then, I've had no motivation to write it. Don't get me wrong, I really want to write it and I know a lot of what I'm going to be writing about, but I just don't have the motivation. I dunno why.

Perhaps it's because I'm tired. This is probably true most of the time. Perhaps it's because I don't have time? Can't be true because I somehow manage to surf away an hour or two each and every night. Perhaps I have too many projects that I want to get done? Kind of true as lately I've been wanting to get housework done like garage shelves, etc. Still not a good excuse because I don't end up doing those projects in my spare time anyway. I think the biggest reason, and I hate to admit this, is what Laura is always saying - my need to get on the computer to...well, do whatever involves the computer. And this year, it's basically been to surf Reddit and other time-wasting things. During this time, I get nothing done. Literally, I may learn a thing or two, but in the end, I come out with nothing gained. I think I need to change this next year. It's going to be hard, but in the next few days, I'll have to come up with a way to dial down my surfing and up my productivity on various things. I mean, even I think to myself some nights, what if I had been working on my book for the same amount of time I wasted, say, in a week of worthless surfing? It'd be nearly 10-14 hours or more of writing down. Instead, I get NOTHING done. Even as I write this, I'm tabbing over to Reddit, reading something, coming back, writing something, repeat. I dunno why I am so easily distractible when it comes to surfing around useless information. The thing is, it sucks because I'm writing my story on Google Docs, which requires me to be online, which means that I can easily just surf something instead. Maybe I need to start writing in Word. I'll have to consider that.

I think next year, I really want to make a plan of cutting down surfing, making a list of things I want to accomplish and then working towards doing it. Everytime I start to do a project, literally every time before I start, I'm already thinking of things to do to NOT do the project.

There are a lot of things I want to do next year, too. Some off the top of my head, not in any particular order:

• Starting geocaching or doing science projects with Connor and uploading them to YouTube for some income
• Kitchen table
• Write and FINISH my book
• Start meditating at night with Laura
• Spend more time with Laura - maybe a designated game night once a week
• Do some other meaningful projects...

I may need to sit down and detail out plans and timelines that I should stick to in early January.

Also, I really think that we should get a babysitter for Fridays or something so that Laura and I can get some time alone with the kids out of the house. I think it's worth it for the $20 or so to cover for the babysitter, especially now that Emmeline is, for the most part, sleeping fine after we put her down for the night. There is the occasional crying that won't let down, but I think the babysitter could handle that . At the worst, she can just text us or something. Emmeline will usually stop crying after 30 minutes and since it's at night, she would probably fall back asleep faster than during the day.

Anyway, I should probably get to sleep. For some reason, it's feeling like it's a Saturday, hence me staying up writing thing when I should be sleeping because there is no school this week and that means tomorrow is going to be rough. Thankfully, Laura is taking a half day on Tuesday and then we're off to Tulsa on Wednesday. Tulsa, by the way, is going to suck I think because it's going to be so crowded and Emmeline and Connor are always a problem there for some reason. Since it's not here, it's just harder for me to deal with them and keep an eye on them because of all the places they can go and do. Ellen and Matt are coming this year, so that will be fun and we might try and go see the new Star Wars movie as well. I'm not a Star Wars fan, but it would be fun to watch. Next year is a good year for movies, as well. Some new Marvels movies and such.

Whelp, I should go so I can finish up surfing (ugh! see!) and then head to bed.

So, I'm sitting here at my computer, listening to Emmeline cry. It's been about 10-15 minutes. I dunno if I should go in there and give her a paci or just wait a little bit longer to see if she calms back down. Lately, I'm like, well, she needs to figure it out herself. I don't get how she can't just go back to sleep, but that's what being a baby is, I guess. Sometimes I would really like to know why the hell she wakes up at 10pm and cries. She's just sitting in her crib right now. I know if I go in there, I will just be rude, put a paci in her mouth, lay her down, and leave. I just don't feel like rocking her back to sleep. That's probably the thing to do, but, I dunno. I just don't have the motivation to do it.

Well, I just went in there and did what I just wrote. She's still crying. I don't know why. She's sitting up again. Why. I don't know. It's like, just get a paci and lay back down. She does it like every other night. It's getting old. I don't remember Connor doing this, but maybe my memory is bad.

I don't know if it's because there are two of them now, but during the day, she is just really trying to get on my nerves or something. She just walks around finding things that she's not supposed to have, etc. I can't watch her while I'm dealing with Connor, and she knows it, too. I know Laura is right that I'm constantly trying to get on my computer to get a "break", so to speak. I try to get Connor doing something and while Emmeline is occupied with something, I just automatically sit at my desk. Sometimes I don't even notice that I'm back at the computer. I know I just need to turn off the computer or something during the day, but having been used to doing it for years and years, it's just hard. Because of this, I'm just constantly picking Emmeline up and "resetting" her by putting her in the living room, where she then just walks off again, only to repeat the process. Part of it is me being too picky about what she does, but, really, to me, everything she's doing is something that I think she shouldn't be doing. Maybe I need to let up, but then I know that right when I do, something bad will happen or that I'll just be spending more time later cleaning up the result.

She's still just sitting there. I don't know what the fuck she's doing! She's only crying here and there. The rest of the time she's just sitting in the dark. I can't tell exactly what she's doing since the crib is in the way. I should really move it to somewhere where the camera can see the entire crib unobstructed.

I really can't say enough about Laura getting up during the night if she cries, getting up every morning to get them up and take care of them, taking care of them after she gets home, etc. She works so hard. And I know that I don't tell her that I really appreciate what she does. I wouldn't survive, literally, if she wasn't here. I don't know what I'd do. I would go crazy. I'm already at max tolerance with them like halfway through the day. Each day I'm like, okay, today, I'll try and be patient and nice with them, but that pretty much goes out the window every time when Connor gets bored and starts to bother her or starts doing things to, I think, get my attention. I do try to do things with them, but I'm just so tired. No matter how much I do things, I know they're going to just want more attention, so I seem to keep it at the bare minimum.

I think she finally layed back down to get back to sleep. Let's hope.

It's 3 weeks until the end of the year. With each passing year, I'm remembering less and less of what happened during the year. Hell, I can't even remember what happened the previous week.

I really hope that 2016 is less stressful, but I'm sure it will be even more stressful with my luck.

I have a few projects that I REALLY want to get off the ground next year and will talk a little bit about it in the year-end blog about my plans. I'm going to try and really commit myself to it. I need to stop this procrastinating crap and get some work done that I can reflect back on rather than saying every year, "Well, I guess I didn't do AGAIN what I was going to do." Sooner or later, I'm going to run out of years, man.

Wow - my last post was about trying to blog everyday in November and now it's a month later with no posts...how does that even happen. I literally can't remember what even happened in November except for the Thanksgiving stuff we did just last week in Tulsa.

Lately, I feel like I've just been on autopilot, doing the everyday stuff and not really thinking about anything I'm doing, if that makes sense. I'm tired everyday and I'm just resting to tackle Connor's fits every day. Sometimes he has multiple and it's getting really old. I dunno how to avoid it. It's usually at or around 3:30-4pm like clockwork. Worse when it's a no-school day. He just gets bored. He constantly follows Emmeline around, who is getting an attitude herself. I just want some break time, but I have to watch them constantly. I should get some gates up, but the hallways and openings are too big, plus if they're not swing gates, I would have to take them down every time Connor wants to go back into his room.

Anyway, it's the holiday season and I know that it's Laura's favorite time of the year. I need to work on being happier and in a good mood. It's just that I haven't had much motivation to do anything lately. Especially the last couple of months. I have a lot of plans and projects I want to do next year, one that involves Connor to try and make some side money on YouTube to pay for our trip to Disneyworld, but we'll see how that goes. We've been spending a lot of money this past month or so and we need to cut down. Plus we have property taxes coming up this year. I think we'll be in a good spot by the end of the year, but it will take some budgeting. Actually, glad I mentioned the property tax to myself because the first half is due at the end of this month. Sheesh. The other stressful thing that's been on my mind, which, hopefully is gone now, is the fricken chimney leak that we've had since we moved in. I've been e-mailing and dealing with the roofers and a handyman but it didn't get fix after like 3 attempts until now. I think it's fixed now because they finally just redid the flashing completely last time. It rained a buttload for several days last week and the bucket in the attic and the rafters were dry, so here's hoping that it's all taken care of.

However, an ice storm came through at the same time and broke a shitload of branches off all of our trees, so hopefully none of them die. I spent about an hour today cutting them into manageable pieces to put by the curb for pick-up as well as cutting smaller pieces to dry and use as firewood. I read that a few months should dry it pretty good. So I guess we won't use it until the spring.

Anyway, it's 11:10p and I should get to bed because it's going to be morning in a heartbeat and I'll have to do it all over again. Tomorrow's school, so that helps a little, but not really because I have to race home to put Emmeline down and then wake her up from her nap to pick Connor up.

Ugh.